Remake news is almost never good news, and anonymous Hollywood gossip about remake news is dumbdumb talk that never means anything, but OH MY GOODNESS! This is the best anonymous Hollywood remake gossip that I’ve ever heard in my entire life!!! EVERYBODY LISTEN UP! From Movieweb:

Our source would like to remain anonymous for now, as he is still working next to the singer, but we’ve been told that Bieber has been mulling over a number of feature ideas, and instead of looking to someone like Britney Spears for guidance in this department [Ed. Note: WHY EVER WOULDN'T HE?], he is looking to build off the career model of teeny bopper/rapper-turned-Oscar nominated actor Mark Wahlberg. And while Renaissance Man and The Basketball Diaries came first on his resume, its Marky Mark’s dark R rated thriller Fear that has caught the attention of Justin Bieber.

Justin Bieber is said to be eyeing the role in a proposed remake, hoping that it will give his image and career the same edge it gave Mark Wahlberg back in 1996, a time when most thought of the actor as a one hit wonder who would quietly disappear. Mark Wahlberg was 25 at the time he made Fear. Justin Bieber will turn 18 this March.

Oh my god, I can hardly even imagine how wonderful a Justin Bieber remake of Fear would be. Not only does he have the perfect face and demeanor and voice to take on the role of David McCall, but also– 

“LET ME IN THE FUCKING HOUSE!!!!!” -JUSTIN BIEBER. There’s no way he wouldn’t say that in a remake, RIGHT?! He would have to say that! And he would have to be so upset. And ugh, THAT WOULD BE INCREDIBLE. Not to even mention how perfect the idea of a Fear remake is on its own — I could DEFINITELY deal with two Fears existing in the world. Just the best news, all around. Can’t wait until he cuts his teeth on Fear and moves onto remaking Requiem For A Dream, in which he will play every role. Kind of weird how it’s only Monday and we’ve already heard the best rumor news of our whole lives, right? Keep your fingers crossed as hard as you can, everybody! Pretty sure this thing’s LEGIT! (Via ONTD.)

Comments (30)
  1. Haha, that’s your role model, Justin Bieber.

  2. Even though he was seven at the time shit would have gone down in Justin Bieber was on that 9/11 plane, he would have hit the terrorists with his Nintendo DS

    • Shenanigans: Nintendo DS released a full three years after 9/11. Also, if we’re rating portable gaming systems on their ability to stop terrorism, the N-Gage would be #1 all the way.

  3. Bieber Nights

  4. Your Sister 4 Eva

  5. “Fear” is a great name for a movie with Bieber.

  6. I think Reese Witherspoon did a really good job with that role. Will be interesting to see what Justin brings to it.

  7. I would have thought he’d be pushing for a remake of Boys Don’t Cry. They don’t even have to reshoot half of the scenes.

  8. Can you imagine the sheer terror of having a small boy trying to break into your house?

    • He weighs 85 pounds fully clothed and soaking wet, and his pants are too low to run properly. I’d just make myself some hot chocolate and settle in for the night while he wore himself out knocking politely on the door (because he is also Canadian). As much as I’d love to see this happen, I can also see it being the most boring movie ever made. The family just sort of hangs out and waits until morning. The dramatic tension comes from an argument over Reese Witherspoon’s use of “bodega” in Scrabble, but they find a dictionary and papa CSI decides to allow it. “I was on the edge of my seat. 100 thumbs up.”

  9. “I get to fingerblast Reese Witherspoon on a roller coaster? Reese Witherspoon! Awesome!” — Mark Wahlberg, 1996

    “I get to fingerblast Selena Gomez on a rollercoaster? A roller coaster! Awesome!” — Justin Beiber, 2012

  10. Fear is just the beginning.

  11. “Cuba Gooding Jr won an oscar, right? Let’s remake Snow Dogs!”

  12. “I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT JEEEEESUS!!!”

  13. the only place that it is acceptable for child pop stars to become bad actors is the Disney Channel. If Justin Bieber want’s to get into acting he should start there. Thats where all his fans are anyway.

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