I know that it’s gotten very confusing these days what with all of the reality TV and the Paris Hiltons of the world (Paris Hilton, so hot right now) so that some people might think that you just HAVE to go on TV no matter what, but it turns out you really don’t! It’s totally OK if there’s something special or unique or problematic in your life to NOT share it with the whole world in a format that is designed to exploit and humiliate you for entertainment purposes. Like, just as a random example plucked out of the ether: let’s say you were an adult baby, like, a grown adult who fetishized being a baby and slept in a giant crib and had your girlfriend feed you in your homemade adult high chair and dribbled food down your face and had fake tantrums and pooped your diaper and that was your thing. That’s fine! That can be your thing. Everybody’s got things. Life is hard enough as it is without pretending like you don’t have a thing. But, just in case someone never told you, if that is your thing, or even if you have another thing, you are not REQUIRED BY LAW to go on Dr. Phil.

It just seems like some people might be confused and think they are required to do this to themselves and I want them to know that this is not actually the case. Learn to say “no.” That can be your first word as a man baby. GOOD LUCK OUT THERE, GIANT MAN BABIES! (Thanks for the tip, ali888.)

Comments (45)
  1. The crowd goes BOOOOOO.

  2. What they don’t tell you is that Dr. Phil was also wearing a diaper

  3. …but if you’re going to go on TV, I’d better see you trying a lemon for the first time as an adult baby.

  4. But babies love TV! They all want to meet Yo Gabba Gabba.

  5. how is this not a deal breaker for any girl?

    stop that, man baby’s girlfriend!

    • Seriously. Meanwhile I’ll go home from work at my normal regular job and probably spend my Friday night alone with a TV dinner, lamenting my girlfriend-less situation. At least I use a toilet? Maybe I should give the man baby thing a shot.

  6. Attention Girlfriends of Man Babies: Get Out While You Still Can

  7. How is this the only post with the “sex stuff” tag?

  8. I think the more important thing to call to attention is “Girlfriends, Alert! You don’t have to play along with man-babies. You can just break up with them.”

    I mean, there are certain characteristics I can look beyond when I’m with a girl who is for sure a catch…like, she’s beautiful and intelligent and has a good job and is caring but every now and again she likes to “keep the light on.” Well okay, pervert, fine. I’ll play along.

    But let’s face it…the two minutes I’ve seen of this guy already kind of writes off a few of those characteristics. “We spend most of our money on baby things,” She says.

    Haha how about saying “Honey, how about you spend most of your money on baby things, and meanwhile, I’ll be living somewhere else because what the fuck are you even suggesting we do with actual money we earned?”

  9. The girlfriend is totally GGG (good, giving, and game), the man-baby is GGGG (goo goo ga ga).

  10. I would still rather see an adult baby on TV than another show with a Kardashian in it.

  11. I know this is an “anti” attitude, but I am shocked by how much this man enrages me.

  12. Grow up! Like Haley Joel Osment! (Unfortunately!)

  13. I’d say I’m shocked they actually make an adult onesie, but they also make “Forever Lazy.”

    • HANKY PINKY DOESN’T RHYME HOLY SHIT NOW I’M HAVING AN ANEURYSM ABOUT HOW ANNOYING EVEN THE THOUGHT OF SOMEONE COMING UP WITH THE IDEA OF NAMING A COLOUR HANKY PINKY OH CHRIST I GIVE U

  14. I like when he says he prefers not to speak in words, but how the girlfriend likes it so he does it. WHAT A MAGNANIMOUS AND MATURE MANBABY!

  15. i think if your fetish requires a dedicated room of the house and apparatuses that require more than one person to move, you need to edit your look. too many accessories! try something less busy, like a foot fetish or buying used panties.

  16. i have to get better at writing classified ads.

  17. “I am getting too old for this shit. Also, too old for this diaper.”

  18. “$300-500 dollars for the crib” How does he not know exactly how much he spent on that ridiculous fucking thing?

  19. i can only assume the girlfriend has a somewhat abnormal maternal instinct and can’t help but wonder what will happen if he gets her pregnant with a real baby. that’ll really shake up the family dynamic.

  20. Umm, Gabe, have you ever spent any time around babies? They are NOTORIOUS attention whores. Man babies, apparently, no different. They’re just more persistent at whoring themselves for attention.

  21. What I’m taking from this is that this dude has done the research, and 18 months is the best age. That’s some fucking science right there!

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