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Dear Ladies,

I know that none of us want to look at a picture of Snooki. Believe me. She is not a person that is or has ever been on any of our radars. But, uhhhh…I want NEED to talk to you about something. So, you know how Snooki looks so disgusting all the time? Like a legit monster? Well, today she tweeted a photo of herself without makeup on and she is UNRECOGNIZABLY BEAUTIFUL. If she weren’t making such a goddamn dumb face I’d hardly even believe it was her! HER EYES! LOOK AT HER EYES! I wanted to bring this to your attention, ladies, because…Maybe we should all start wearing a lot of disgusting makeup for a while? Like, just a few years. Cover our faces in fake tanner and bronzer and eyeshadow and a flour/water combination and sriracha and superglue and coal and whatever else, and then just sleep in it every night and reapply the next day. Then once we decided to go makeup free, WE WILL ALL LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL IN COMPARISON! And everyone will applaud our natural beauty. They’ll say, “Oh my god, you are so beautiful without makeup on!” And we’ll say, “Oh no, I look so gross! Don’t look at me, yuck!” But really we’ll be thinking, “IT WORKED!” And we will want them to look at us forever.

Sound good?

Kelly

(Via TheDailyWhat.)

Comments (53)
  1. The thing I want to know is how it’s possible for someone who wears SO MUCH makeup all the time to have such nice skin. Wouldn’t wearing all that makeup clog your pores and cause breakouts and such?

  2. I have the tannest boner right now.

  3. “Gotcha!” -Andy Serkis

  4. Now if only she could remove the ugly makeup on her soul. What’s that? It’s not makeup?…. oh.

  5. Oh come on! Anybody could just make a duck face and claim to be Snooki without makeup! FAKE AND GAY!

  6. I think we all should take this opportunity to come out and post pictures of what we look like before we put our make-up on. I’ll go first:

  7. She looks so much younger here. Snookie, lose the darn “poof” and the orange tanner.

  8. “She’s pretty?!” -Steve Winwhaaat

  9. I’d tweet that.

  10. She’s still missing the paper bag.

  11. She also began exercising, lost some weight and toned up a bit since being on Jersey Shore.

    So basically, the formula is as follows:

    1) If you’re not a bit overweight and shlubby, get that way.
    2) Put on all of the makeup.
    3) Discreetly start exercising, but amp up your putting on of all of the makeup.
    4) Once you’re back down to your target weight, continue putting on all of the makeup.
    5) THEN SUDDENLY, TAKE OFF ALL THE MAKEUP AND SNAP A CAMERA PHONE PHOTO!

  12. Ok so she tweeted herself without make-up but she couldn’t resist making DSLs? Can she just be 100% normal???? fuh once!

  13. This whole thing makes me more sad than horny. I don’t like that.

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