Let me begin by saying that both of these kids are the best. No duh. We’re both looking at the same picture right now and it is very clear that both of them are absolutely hands-down THE BEST. But for the purposes of this blog post, and also just the purposes of life and how life has to work, so sorry, there can only be one the best. And we have to make that decision right now. On the one hand we have the piano prodigy, a seven-year-old named Adrian Romoff. He also seems to be a bit of a science prodigy — at least he THINKS he’s a science prodigy, IDK, he seems a bit full of it — but I’d ask you not to take that into consideration in this particular judgment. He recently played Carnegie Hall and he has a lot to say about everything and is adorable and also a tiny jerk, which makes him even more adorable. On the other hand we have eight-year-old Juliet, who performs her first hardcore song and completely nails it. We know less about her because, unlike with Adrian, there is no interview portion. One thing we do, know, is that she loves her dog Robert, and that she is an incredible hardcore talent. Truly a battle of greats, so please take a moment and judge for yourselves.

Piano Prodigy

Hardcore Prodigy

BOTH INCREDIBLE! At this point, I cannot decide. I love them both for MUCH different reasons. I love Juliet because she is super cool, and I love Adrian because he is a super nerd. I love Adrian because he is incredibly talented, and I love Juliet because all she needs to do is scream in a baby voice. This is maybe one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever have to make in your life, SO WHAT’LL IT BE!!??! (Thanks for the tips, teacherman and davidcxr!)

Comments (50)
  1. This is the inverse of Alien v. Predator. Whoever wins, we also win! Because it is all great!

  2. I agree with Juliet’s stance on dogs, trampolines and Phuket. Adrian made me watch a commercial for Taylor Lautner’s “Abduction.” Point to Juliet.

  3. No contest. Juliet is adorable, and Adrian is well on his way to being a highly accomplished world-class dickhead. I will take adorable.

    • Yeah, he is definitely on the accelerated path to becoming a giant turd… And the part about not having to admire EVERYONE that has a Nobel Prize? Definitely a shot at Obama. This a-hole is president of the Way TOO Young Republicans.

  4. I like Juliette best because we both love our dogs and throwing a good tantrum. Plus I bet her parents would let me have a beer.

    • i dunno, with that breakdown and those lyrics i bet juliet’s parents are alumni the of posi youth core scene, so are most likely sXe. adrian’s parents would probably let you have some nice scotch or a snifter of brandy or some wine with dinner.

      • Good point. I just can’t imagine any scenario in which I’d want to talk to Adrian’s parents about anything, though I’m pretty sure the only thing they can talk about is what a special little unicorn/flower they’ve produced.

        I was thinking Juliette’s parents could be fun soccer hooligans, like in Eurotrip.

  5. Juliet all the way. Dogs over Carnegie Hall any day.

  6. The part where she’s all like, “Let’s open up this pit!” and then it cuts to a trampoline covered in stuffed animals = Queen Shit of Fuck Mountain

  7. Um, yeah this isn’t even a conversation. If Juliet met that kid, she would fuck up his face and walk away smiling.

  8. Juliet’s hardcoreable.

  9. I was on the fence, but then I watched the related video of Juliet finding out about getting a baby brother/sister, and now my mind is made up! JULIET 2024.

  10. she learned it all from this guy:

  11. You know, I’m going to be the voice of reason here, and surely will get downvotes BY THE BOWLFUL (like Einstein would) and say that Adrian is by far the better prodigy, the better musician, and the better overall kid.

    First of all, Juliet didn’t even write that song. My guess is this Rob Sharpe producer character played all the instruments, and my other guess is he even maybe ghost wrote some of the lyrics. Second of all, it’s clear to me when she screams “whooo” that there’s been some mild Auto-tune applied to her voice. NOT HARDCORE, Juliet.

    Adrian, on the other hand, is the real deal. He can play, he’s over his nerves, he’s into science… #ADRIAN4BESTKID

  12. Juliet should open up for Ozzfest this summer.

  13. This is easy, its definitely Juliet. Aside from just enjoying her “performance” more, I also have a standing across the board rule against adult children/ child savants. They are the WORST. Lights Camera Jackson, kid who knows president facts, child math genius, they are all insufferable to me. I like them picking boogers and playing in dirt. I wish every kid was like Vivian from ‘Dance Moms’.

  14. I vote Juliet because she knows exactly how much of a hardcore song I can tolerate. Even if it’s about dogs and fish.

  15. Juliet also loves her fishes!

  16. I’m going to go with Adrian here. I mean, both of these children are wonderful, but Adrian is only a few years away from a big fall. Juliet seems like she’s not likely to be easily defeated by the reality of the world. I think we should let Adrian hold on to what he has for as long as possible, because it isn’t going to last.

  17. Alex Xane Dimeff  |   Posted on Jan 19th, 2012 +1

    Loving dogs and fishes beats liking school subjects. I’ll take Juliet’s opening of this pit to Adrian’s opening night at Carnegie Hall any day.

  18. UHHHH IM FROM PEACHTREE CITY WUUUUTTT

  19. Adrian probably already knows how to drive his golf cart. #PeachtreeCityJokes

  20. That boy…its like I am watching the birth of a Batman super Villain.
    “Haha..Batman…you are no match for …DR.MELODY AHA…AHAHA…AHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

  21. Why choose sides? The universe needs to orchestrate their futures so the two of them can meet up in several years, become infatuated with each others mysterious talents, fall madly in love, have a roller coaster ride courtship as they learn to communicate their feelings to each other and discover the beauty of each other’s world, and finally get married and have three perfectly average children that they struggle to raise working standard white/blue collar jobs, and at this point truly find happiness. Then I will steal their story and write the next great American novel about it, and make millions of dollars being heralded as the hardcore reincarnate spiritual offspring of a literary Einstein.

  22. Einstein won a Nobel Prize in Physics. Not the Peace Prize. Stupid kid.

  23. At first I was kind of meh with the hardcore, but then when the “breakdown” started with the trampoline bouncing, oh did I laugh. HARDCORE KID IN 2012!

  24. I think we need to make it a cage match and throw in the BLIND Prodigy… http://bitly.com/HgPY7v and he’s only 15! WTF

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