We’ve all had a few rough times driving in the snow. (True, moving on.) And we all carry with us a deep fear of driving in any kind of bad weather because of the time we totaled our car in high school after thinking that we could drive home from the bowling alley even though it was snowing pretty badly, because we were young and had never driven in snow before and didn’t realize that we, especially we, REALLY couldn’t do it. So it pains us to see this clip of drivers in Seattle struggling with, admittedly, what looks to be a very small amount of snow, set to Herb Alpert’s “Spanish Flea.” DON’T YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT??? For how terrible some people are at driving? And how they should definitely have just stayed home because now everyone is in danger? And how, also, it hasn’t snowed in New York City at all this year and why not and when is it going to snow and it’s great when you don’t have to drive in it, so it would be really nice if it would just happen already because some of us decided that this would be the year when they finally bought snow boots and they weren’t inexpensive but we figured it would be worth it? DON’T YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR THOSE THINGS?!

To give you some credit, the Herb Alpert does make the whole thing seem awfully lighthearted. Hahaaaaaaa. Stupid, dumb old Seattle. Maybe stop trying to do whatever you’re trying to do with that chain and go home and put on your flannel and grab your Starbucks and listen to Nirvana’s In Utero and think about what it would be like if Kurt Cobain were still alive, like a normal day. RIGHT? GOTCHA SEATTLE! Stay safe in there! In your home! Away from everyone else!

Previously: Be Careful, People Falling Down An Icy Staircase!

Comments (26)
  1. “If I was in those cars with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in those front seats and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to park somewhere safely, don’t worry.’”

    -Hypothetical Mark Wahlberg

  2. Our generation’s Life Is A Highway.

  3. This is what it sounds like inside a sociopath’s head.

  4. Oh, you mean that wasn’t the theme from Match Game 75?

    • No because Spanish Flea’s lyrics are “La La La La-la La La Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. La La La La-la La La Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.” But the lyrics to Match Game are “La-la-la-la La La La-la. La-la-la-la La La La-la. La-la-la-la La La La-la. La-la La La La-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaaaa.”

  5. I don’t know, I always liked the sports bloopers video my brother had that showed dudes probably seriously injuring themselves, set to the music of Scott Joplin.

  6. This is unacceptable. -200 points for not using Yakety Sax. It’s a classic for a reason!

  7. I live in Alaska. So, can I be condescending and brag like a gigantic ass about my winter driving skills? Please? It’s so cold and impossibly dark, you have to give me something. I’m so depressed and vegetables are so expensive right now. If I lost my bragging rights about my ability to maneuver a car down the road, I think I would just die.

    I think I might make a video set to “Spanish Flea”, where I spend $10 on a bag of celery and then sit in the dark eating it while covered in a blanket shivering till I lose consciousness.

  8. i know a guy who recently moved to Seattle. he couldn’t get a job anywhere so he started giving winter driving lessons. he’s got a sweet jacket.

  9. I made a snow dog with my dog last night. #bragbrag

  10. That car was two weeks old. It was totaled, but God bless it, there wasn’t even a scratch on Kelly.

  11. Everyone may mock us (we mock ourselves), but today is a snow day for absolutely everyone and everything in Seattle and we’re all just drinking coffee and lounging around and sledding with children down all the closed-off steep roads so fuck the haters.

  12. More Herb Alpert, please. Nothing funny here. Just a genuine love for a man and his brass.

  13. i really like that music though

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