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This month’s issue of Allure features an interview with Zooey Deschanel, who explains how horrible and difficult things were for her growing up:
She’s become BFFs with A-listers like Nicole Richie and Mindy Kaling, but back in middle school, Zooey Deschanel was tormented by her peers. “Girls spit in my face,” Deschanel tells the February issue of Allure. “People were so mean to me. I’d cry every day.”
The New Girl actress — who attended high school with Jake Gyllenhaal and Kate Hudson — says not much changed during her freshman year at Northwestern University. “I went to Northwestern because I had gone to a really nontraditional high school. I was like, ‘It’d be cool to have a traditional college experience,’” Deschanel, 32, explains. “Then I was like, ‘Oh, but none of these people understand what’s cool about me. My specialness is not appreciated in this place.’”
I’m not entirely sure NICOLE RICHIE and MINDY KALING are “A-listers,” no offense to Nicole Richie or Mindy Kaling, but just saying that right off the bat there is something UP with this article. But as much as I want to feel bad for Zooey Deschanel, it is hard to stay on her side when right after complaining about the miserable time she had in middle school, which, to be fair, I think something’s wrong with you if you DON’T have a miserable time in middle school, but, like, she complains that it was just as tough in college? WAS IT REALLY? Was it really just as bad in college as it was in middle school, Zooey Deschanel? Because people weren’t recognizing your SPECIALNESS? Ack! ACK ACK ACK! She and Charlize Theron should start a support group. And just, like, as a goof, when they have support group meetings they could wear wedding dresses and we could all get triple married but just as, like, a joke, like kind of as a fuck you to the people who bullied them in school, like, hahaha, SEE?! WE’RE TRIPLE MARRIED NOW AND YOU JUST GOT FAT AND SAD. Think about it, girls.
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Maybe she would have fit in better at a “special” school.
I know how she feels every time you assholes fail to understand my specialness and downvote me.
“My specialness is not appreciated in this place.”
And with that, Zooey Deschanel had found the magic words that took her from fuckably twee to obnoxious twee monster.
Tweemon?
TWEEMON, I CHOOSE YOU!
You’re thinking of Tweekachu.
Tweeka?
“My specialness is appreciated in this plaze”
On the one hand, some middle school girl could read this and think “It gets better.” That is nice.
But to the ADULTS of the world, she sounds like a moron. I got made fun of in grade school. Most people did. We were the 99%.
People didn’t recognize how “special” you were in college? Dear god. The only thing that could make this statement worse is if she were singing it.
Wait, no one in middle school would be reading Allure. Zooey, I suggest you secure an interview with YM or Teen Beat. They will recognize how special you are.
YM is gone. i was actually really sad when i found out.
so is mademoiselle. kids go from highlights to cosmo these days.
“My specialness is not appreciated in this place”
Am I missing something? Isn’t that pretty much part of the traditional college experience – realizing that while one may be awesome in one’s own opinion, one is still just a drop in a larger ocean? Part of what I learned at college was that I wasn’t all that special and that I should really think about removing my head from my ass (I am clearly still in the ‘considering it’ phase. I don’t want to be rash, now). Did I do everything wrong?
Also, next time someone has an epic internet flounce, please use that line. Please.
In college I learned that I was very special because I had the magical ability to dress myself before class (not wear pajamas), read at a 9th grade level, and not pee in my bed!
“Then I was like, ‘Oh, but none of these people understand what’s cool about me. My specialness is not appreciated in this place.’”
that’s just a lesson as to why we need to follow the golden rule: treat others as cool and special person you expect to be treated as.
Can we talk about bullying for a second? I think there’s a real difference between getting bullied and getting picked on, and I don’t think people make that distinction enough.
Everyone gets picked on at some point in their lives, and that’s just a part of life. Builds character and all that. But then there’s actual, real, kids-get-depressed-and-suicidal bullying. The relentless kind that fucks up lives. I think that when people (celebrities) take instances of the former and talk about them as though they’re the latter, it of dilutes what some kids have to go through and does them a disservice.
I think I was somewhere in the middle of “picked on” and full-blown bullied, because there were definitely kids that had it worse than me, but I learned a kind of social anonymity skill-set that kept me out of the cross hairs. Like if Liam Neeson’s character in Taken was based on me, it would have gone something like this:
I know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for lunch money, I can tell you in certain vague terms that I may or may not have any. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long 5-7th grade stretch. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you, or at least a cloudy, unsatisfying memory in your sphere of social hate. If you let my shirt collar go now and stop trying to push my pelvis into the urinal that I’m standing at, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will avoid you to such an extent that it’ll be like this never happened and like I don’t exist, and you’ll forget my face and name and I won’t be a war story for you and your illiterate friends to guffaw about in front of your soon-to-be ex girlfriends at Murphy’s down the road in 10 years.
Most impressive.
okay but she says she was SPIT ON IN THE FACE which, if true, is actual assault and yes bullying.
If not having your “specialness” recognized is bullying, then the whole world has been bullying me for years.
“I’d do more than spit on her.”
- Steve Winwood
Absolutely true fact: I went to Northwestern and graduated before Zooey enrolled, but I had a younger friend who used to eat in her cafeteria and saw her all the time. According to him, she was obviously extremely pretty, but she wore a ton of eyeshadow, was very pale, and wore dark clothes all the time. His friends called her “Dead Girl” (not to her face), but he had a crush on her. He never talked to her.
This does explain the title of Cameron Crowe’s new movie, “We Bullied a Zooey”
“waah waah waah”- Zooey Deschanel
Wait, is this new? I think from her music videos we could tell she was a nerdy, creative kid. Like “Last Friday Night” made her look really weird, and “Firework” with the sparkler bra oh dammit I’ve mixed them up again haven’t I?
She’s also talked about her lackluster experience at her “artsy” high school. Ahem: “But even surrounded by all these unicorns, I felt like the unicorniest. I just did not fit in.”
Yep. The unicorniest. Not making this up: http://rookiemag.com/2011/09/higher-learning/.
Ok, pseudoserious question – does anyone actually ever really feel like they fit in? I thought everyone felt like that, at least once in a while. Otherwise, it seems that social interaction and friendships and relationships wouldn’t take any effort because ta-daaaah it fits naturally and there is no need to navigate anyone’s quirks or neuroses!
Also, oh god I am fairly twee and even I don’t know what even unicorniest is.
No, I still don’t feel like I fit in, and I’m an adult.
I don’t know why, but I do know that I have never thought that the reason is because “My specialness is not appreciated.”
I love that you guys are as baffled by her as I am. No. No one feels like they fit in! Everyone gets made fun of sometimes! Those particular forms of self-pity and mild persecution don’t make you special.
I just get so sick of people bragging about how unique they are. And I bet I’m the only one who feels that way!
you know, i never really had too much of an opinion on zooey. frankly, i reserve most of my churning stomach full of hate towards people that have a modicum of power over how i experience the world- meaning policy makers, politicians, business men, etc. or people who unabashedly seek to deny rights to others, or spread hateful ideas about superiority or inferiority based on color, sexuality, creed, gender, class. all of those things that oftentimes we cannot control, but somehow control us. and you know what? oftentimes i find it distasteful when a person of extreme privilege complains about what life has allotted them. i know that many might find it comforting to think that a rich, talented, beautiful, white star also “had it rough”, and maybe that everyone is affected by ugly duckling syndrome, and that we will all grow up to be so lucky and be adored by so many. but i think that is a grave fucking disservice to people that actually struggle, and people who have struggled with far far more and gotten far far further than being on a fucking shitty fox sitcom. because our society is filled with amazing conflict and perseverance, and it’s pathetic that the stories of triumph that we want to give our youth is this milquetoast bullshit- it gives no depth or no honor to those that are currently struggling or those that have in the past. it’s part of our fear as a society to actually discuss things that matter, and instead defer to these fucking morons as the bearers of great truths.
also, that part in that story where she talks about how she is the only person in her class that pondered the nature of infinity makes me want to barf on her brain.
@ “southern bitch”, my problem with your manifesto is that you used the word “that” when you should have used the word “who” when referring to people. For example, “honor to those that are currently struggling” should be “who are currently struggling.” In the final bit, where you write “the only person in her class that pondered” should be “who pondered.” When you refer to human beings with the impersonal “that” rather than the more personal “who” you drive me insane. It is not grammatically incorrect technically to refer to human beings as “that” but it is annoying and it must be stopped.
I’m not sure if your grammar specialness is appreciated in this place.
I’m not sure I’m a fan of your “cyber bullying”
None of you people understand what’s cool about Steve, myself included.
steve, if you actually gave a fuck about things that are annoying and must be stopped, you probably would’ve ceased posting a long, long time ago.
“I was bullied before bullying was the cool thing to do.
Wait.”
Too bad it didn’t silence her.
As the spit mingled with her tears she muttered “But my mom was on Twin Peaks…”
seriously? who is her mom?
her mom was Donna’s mom
Mrs Wheelie?
yeah
Ben Horn’s crippled slice on the side
Steve, you know that Rashida Jones is the daughter of Quincy Jones and Peggy Lipton, right? Peggy played Norma Jennings (did she ever!). Can you say something about Norma Jennings too? In fact, if you could write brief, one-sentence descriptions of all the Twin Peaks characters, I would read all of them. This, I swear.
I might indulge you, Kajus but first I need some validation on the whole “that vs who” problem above. Doesnt that drive you nuts to see writing that refers to people as “that” rather than “who” or am I crazy?
If Zooey Deschanel’s mom was on Twin Peaks, and Rashida Jones’ mom was on Twin Peaks, it stands to reason that Alison Brie’s mom was on Twin Peaks. We’ll get our top IMDB scientists on it.
The reason why no one appreciated her specialness is because she’s not special. People who are convinced of their uniqueness and specialness are a dime a dozen.
Also, people who go around so loudly touting their specialness don’t get bullied. They get their asses handed to them by people who realize what douchebags they are.
Not if they are celebrities though. Always legions of fans to prop up the weight of ridiculous egos and maintain their warped view of the world.
Oh yeah, for sure. I meant people with pre-celebrity-status get their asses handed to them. Post-celebrity they do whatever the hell they want, and the only repercussions are that people like us talk about them behind their backs. So yeah, maybe not really justice. But for sure fun for us, though!
BURN NOTICE
If by “specialness” she means “being pretty” then she can rest assured that I appreciate the aforementioned “specialness.” She is very special.
Don’t ever change, Steve.
I wish I could track down the girls who spit in her face and give them a high five.
Don’t worry, Zooey. It’s quite common to be picked on when you’re the New Girl.
(…I’ll show myself out.)
“Who’s on top and who’s on bottom NOW?”
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Libby Mae Brown reference FTW!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 X infinity!!!
Maybe Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry will form an alliance and become the most annoying (but also catchy) singing group in the world. It will be their mission to prove how adorable and quirky they are.
That’s racist.
Yeah! What- All manic pixie dream girls look the same to you? The hell?!
That school of hers nurtured other special flowers like Spencer Pratt, Michael Bay and Gwyneth Paltrow. Were these people going to be insufferable assholes even if they never attended Crossroads? I don’t know, but that place has a hell of a track record.
It’s gotta be the shoes.
I like to imagine Kate Hudson chiding, “Why are you hitting yourself, Zooey?”
i hate that part about the college thing, but havening grown up in the same neighborhood in Los Angeles and gone to school with the same type of people (she’s a couple of years older than I am), i can say that they are the fucking worst people in the world.
people talk about new yorkers or east coasters being assholes or bullies or picking on people and get that “tough guy” reputation, but the little shits at private schools in west los angeles would make the toughest Joey from Bay Ridge cry if you put them in a room together.
I also heard her say in an interview that she dropped out of college to be in movies, because, you know, it just seemed like more fun.
A hard choice we all have to make at some point: Stay in school where I’m not special, or be in movies?? Tough!
Well at least she’s getting the adorkable attention she now deserves. Or thinks she deserves.
I have secured @ShitZooeySays and welcome submissions.
“I wish everyone looked like a kitten.” True story.
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I hope i don’t sound like a jerk when i say that i don’t understand how this post came off as resentful and/or offensive. I mean maybe being bugged by a gorgeous, wealthy, privileged woman complaining that people didn’t recognize that she was Very Special is resenting the fact that she is so privileged. And celebrities always like to pretend they’re not full of themselves and it’s worth calling them out on it – you’ve gotta be very over the top sure of yourself to succeed in media. At least, that’s the vibe i’ve always gotten. My point is that i don’t get how that’s offensive and i’m curious to know your stance. bikinidog just got a little too into this post.
She is LYING. I know what school she went to. I used to work there. That is the most amazing middle/high school in the area, that provides an incredible and unparalleled educational experience. The school basically exists to acknowledge and foster the uniqueness of each individual student. It helps that a ton of “industry” people have gone there and they have oodles and oodles and oodles of money…but still…I am calling shenanigans on her being “tormented”.
is this for real, because if so, what if i have children. should i send them there? because that sounds like a pretty rad “i wanna be an orphan in that orphanage” kind of school. But, in the same way, it also produced douchey people like Deschanel. So, which one is it, chewer?
“my specialness is not appreciated in this place.” -The Happening.
I am giddy that I now have more fuel to throw on my Zooey-D-hate-fire!
Can we just throw a shoe at her face and be done with it? You know show her real bullying instead of teasing. I’ll even be kind and throw a vintage shoe at her.