Guys, this video is for Briona ONLY. No one else watch this video, thx.

I hope you enjoyed the video, Briona. That’s your boyfriend, right? Of course it is. That is definitely your boyfriend. Enjoy the love that he has for you that is more powerful than the train in Unstoppable before they were finally able to SPOILER ALERT stop it. The love he has for you that is sweeter than the sweetest piece of candy dipped into a bowl of caramel and covered in chocolate and and baked inside of a key lime pie and buried at the top of Sugar Mountain, which doesn’t exist because nothing is sweeter than you. The love that is stronger than Mrs. Universe. The very same love that destroyed all of this boy’s t-shirts. Stay perfect, baby girl. Stay in school, everyone. Destroy the Internet. Winter is coming. (Thanks for the tip, greatjobdave.)

Comments (41)
  1. I love this video more than all the buttholes in all the human centipedes in all the galaxies of barf.

  2. Gabe only thinks Sugar Mountain isn’t real because he’s been older than 20 for a very long time now.

  3. I’m worried about Shia Labeouf, you guys.

  4. I don’t know about you guys, but this version gets that creepiness factor through the roof

  5. Bruno Mars Lyrics

  6. Back in my day, we just passed notes in class.

  7. Right now this is just some YouTube video, but I feel like eventually it will also be known as “evidence”.

  8. just in case y’all didn’t vom from the video, he basically lands the hurl deal by pretending he’s filming it on a dinghy?

  9. He’s probably not wearing pants either. Sorry for the mental image, but it’s probably true

  10. So nobody here is going to buy the “Stay perfect. Just for me.” t-shirts? We could all wear them on Wednesdays!

  11. I now have an irrational fear of being rocked to sleep by Elijah Wood.

  12. “Everything is going to be okay. I didn’t mean to lock you in the trunk of my car. Love you baby girl.”

  13. Internet Request: a gif of him raising his eyebrows many times in a row.

  14. If there’s one thing I never want to experience again, it’s being fifteen and in love.

    • Do you want to go to semi-formal, Dan Robertson? You “don’t feel like going to semi-formal”, Dan Robertson? Well fine then, I will spend the night doing the Macarena with the rest of the Improv Team and having a grand old time and looking awesome in my $35 dress and it will be your loss, Dan Robertson.

  15. Not as creepy as Jim Carrey

  16. Aaaaaand the reply from babygirl:

    • Hahaha. This is so exhausting to watch. Do teenagers know how to organize their thoughts before they start recording? They just hit play and ramble in circles for five minutes.

  17. Skreech?

    Saved By the Bell: the Chatroullete Years

  18. I used to yell at people like this to take their high school hall sex back to CHESS KING WHERE IT BELONGED. My point is that I’ve always been a cranky asshole and if this guy went to my high school he absolutely would have dressed like David Silver or someone from Color Me Badd.

    • I used to tell them to save it for the drive-in. (My high school town has a drive-in.) I earned this name pretty early on. Also, by chasing neighbourhood kids off my lawn. “Don’t go over there, that’s Old Man Fatima’s place!”

      • We had a drive-in too… Or a suburb sort of near me did. Great place to smoke pot and watch terrible movies.

        ****the more you know****

        • Ours had all night dusk-til-dawn 80s horror movie marathons. It was perfect. You bring a case of beer, grab a nap in there somewhere, you’re sober enough to drive home by the morning. We used to ride our bikes and smuggle in booze before any of us had our licenses.

          I see this Briona guy and I’m like “never again”, but then I remember all the cool, fun stuff I did when I was 15 and it doesn’t seem so bad.

  19. I did some research. It turns out this boys name is Briona.

  20. wow wish i was in middle school again

  21. Swing the camera up and down rather than left to right and you have a very different scenario.

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