As you all must have heard by now, Aaron Paul got engaged on New Years Eve in Paris. No, not to me. It did come as a shock. Sometimes you think your life is going to take one road and then, what do you know, suddenly that road gets engaged to another woman, who is the same age as you are, on New Years Eve in Paris. That’s just life, and life goes on. But we do all deserve a little closure.

Goodbye, Aaron. I’ll never stop loving your appearance, or the way your character is on AMC’s Breaking Bad.

Comments (37)
  1. “Will you marry me, bitch?”

  2. Kelly, given that he apparently popped the question at Sad Divorced Dad Apartments (LLC), I think you dodged a bullet.

  3. Yeah, but I bet he doesn’t get to sleep in a bed shaped like a race car.

  4. Kelly, don’t give up hope. Although I am married, and Ryan Gosling is in a relationship with that Whorey McWhorerson Eva Mendes (jk, I am sure she is not so bad…maybe), I am more than confident that one day I will hit that. I have the same hope for you and Aaron. Don’t stop believin’, Kelly. DON’T. STOP.

    • Have you read Chuck Palahniuk’s ‘DAMNED’? I only ask because the protagonist always refers to girls she doesn’t like as Whorey McWhorersons and the like. Also, it was a fun read, so I recommend it if you haven’t.

      • Better than his last few? Because Snuff was awful, and Pygmy was essentially unreadable.

        • I am having Haunted flashbacks right now. TALK ME DOWN SOMEONE, talk me down.

          • Go to your happy place, LBT! Close your eyes and imagine a nice, cool, relaxing swimming pool on a summer day.

          • I haven’t kept up since Haunted. My friend read Snuff and Pygmy, and while he agrees with you on Snuff, he found the writing style of Pygmy to be very compelling, often times saying the sentences out loud because he enjoyed their structure.

            DAMNED is pretty straightforward. Each chapter starts with a “Are you there God, it’s me Margaret” type of journal entry, and the whole thing is basically written from the perspective of a 13 year old girl who has found herself in Hell. The book jacket references things like The Breakfast Club and the aforementioned Judy Blume, and Palahniuk’s concept and descriptions of the various areas of Hell and its denizens were pretty damn entertaining.

            It’s also a short read, with no more than 230+ pages, and there may be a sequel.

          • OH, and I adored RANT.

          • I liked Rant, too. Pygmy was an interesting structure, but I was really expecting it to get better and better the longer he was in America a la Flowers For Algernon. Instead, it just stayed that way the whole time, so I thought that whatever novelty factor it had wore out completely by the end.

      • If your last name is McWhorerson, why would you name your daughter Whorey? That’s just bad planning.

        • At the call center where I used to work, we would frequently get calls from a person named Joshua Joshua. Every single time, without fail, the first time a person spoke with him, they would say that we accidentally have his first name in there twice, and ask if they could get his correct name so they could fix it. It was always super awkward for the person involved, and hilarious for the rest of us.

  5. It’s okay Kelly. It’s happened to me many times before.

    Carey Mulligan (and Shia LaBoef)
    Halle Berry (and Eric Benet)
    JoJo (and Freddy Adu)

    They all have two things in common. Their relationships dissolved, and they are dating me. Just give it time.

  6. If you really love his CHARACTER I know a handful of tough(? Don’t really think that’s the best descriptor for Jesse but whatever) former drug addicts, I can hook you up!

  7. In Paris? That shit cray!

  8. Saying goodbye to Aaron Paul, the shit people say meme, and Paulie all in the same day? It’s getting videoglum in here.

  9. <3 <3 James Taylor!

  10. Kelly I feel your pain. But think of it this way…at least you HAD a chance. A gay boy like me was completely deluded. You were only partially deluded. CHIN UP BB.

  11. Kelly, they’re just ENGAGED. You can still stop that shit. She’s the Baxter and you’re the lead… He’ll figure it out at the wedding or maybe five minutes before. I’ve seen this happen A LOT — Lifetime and HBO Signature have a ton of documentaries on this phenomenon. It’s very, very common. You just need to make sure Judy Greer is your best friend and stat.

  12. Aaron Paul is a little bitch. For realzees

    Unionmeezy off the heezy in twenty-tweezy

  13. Or you could just switch your allegiance to Colin Edwards.

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