It’s right there, right in front of us. All we have to do is reach out and grab it. And crush it. And eat it. And kill it. And make it ours. And have it forever. But somehow we can’t. Something is keeping us from doing what comes so naturally to us. We continue our attempts, and in between bursts of furious energy, we flare our nostrils and glare at our quarry, not understanding how this little thing that is so vulnerable compared to us, so clearly created for our possession, is somehow still breathing and staring at us with its stupid glasses. GIVE IT! So we wait. Frustrated and confused and angry and starving to death, we wait. Fucking Tuesdays! (Via ViralVideos.)

Comments (33)
  1. I briefly considered not making a stupid dad joke here, but I’d just be lion to myself if I denied that urge.

  2. I would still not feel comfortable even with that glass between us.

  3. Note to self: Write movie script where disgruntled worker at glass company switches all the zoo exhibit glass with homeowner glass. Possible name – “Shattered.”

  4. He’s angry because of being imprisoned and degraded to an oddity to ogle at in passing! LOL JK It’s actually just being a big violent asshole who likes killing.

  5. The fact that the girl has no evolutionary response to back the eff (!) away from the glass, likely signifies a tough road ahead and some deeper clinical psychopathology. Now, off of my armchair and back to work. This zebra meat isn’t going to eat itself!

    • I always felt that way about that “game” dudes play where they feign punching each other, trying to make the other person flinch. And apparently you’re not SUPPOSED to flinch! “Alright, bro! You earned my respect by lacking any sort of instinct to defend yourself! Evolutionary defiance five!”

  6. Today Kelly is that lion and the little girl is the news that Aaron Paul just got engaged. :(

    R.I.P. Kelly & Aaron’s future romance.

  7. A few years ago, I took a primatology class where we studied animals at the local zoo. The group that was assigned the gorillas discovered that the all male group would wait for a bunch of 12 year old girls to come into the viewing area and then literally go ape-shit. Apparently, they liked the way the screamed.

    My point is, aim older Lion.

  8. Reminds me of the time when I was 15 and my aunt took me to the zoo. The biggest baboon in the enclosure stared her down through the plexiglass, and then threw a violent slap to the window near where her face was. Looking back, oh how I wish the plexiglass was not there. He did what everyone who ever knew her wanted to do but never did. God bless that baboon.
    I empathize with the lion.

  9. Whenever I see videos like this of caged, endangered animals that are taunted by children and whose goddamn parents are laughing at the silly animal trapped at the zoo, wanting to eat their offspring…

    Well, I just wish I had Harry Potter’s ability to make the glass disappear. That’s all.

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