I’m a subscriber to the general belief that you should try anything once, but that’s when you’re talking about trying a weird food, or traveling to a neat place, not JUMPING OFF OF BRIDGES WITH A RUBBER BAND ON YOUR FOOT. You nuts? Don’t be nuts! Listen, guys, life is precious, and God, and the bible. You know what I mean? Like, not only is it a statistical miracle that any of us even exists in the first place, but on top of that, we all live in America (and OK, maybe some of you live in Australia or western Europe or something, but that’s basically America) and have our health and clean drinking water and basic cable. And you’re going to what? Get out of here. What’s the matter with you? So while this video of a woman’s bungee cord SNAPPING and the woman falling 9 miles into the river is HORRIFYING and obviously we all hope she is doing OK, it’s also an important REMINDER to continue to NOT DO THAT.

The young woman apparently had to SWIM THROUGH ALLIGATOR INFESTED WATERS but did make it to shore and is OK, but that doesn’t change anything. Stop it. Quit it. No more of this, Dans Cortese. (Via DailyWhat.)

Comments (32)
  1. There is one, and only one, scenario where I would bungee jump. I am on the Amazing Race. It is a detour, and I have to. Seeing as how I’ve never applied to be on the Amazing Race, I will continue to not bungee jump.

  2. One time when I went bungee jumping, I lost my wristwatch. It fucking sucked, because the watch had belonged to my grandfather and he had left it to me when he died.

  3. “So…how long do you think it’ll be until we get to go?” -Some asshole waiting in line.

  4. “OH MY GOD WHO’S GONNA DO SOMETHING?”

    That’s a great question, woman just standing there filming. Obviously, not you.

  5. Amazing: ” we all live in America (and OK, maybe some of you live in Australia or western Europe or something, but that’s basically America)”

  6. how to speak Australian: crikey.

  7. One of my facebook friends said the gal lied about her weight, and that’s what caused the problem. I don’t know if that’s true. Does anyone know? Even if she did lie about her weight, this is still terrifying, and it makes me weird about that one time I did go bungee jumping.

    • Yeah, I don’t buy that. The cord seemed to break at the point where it’s coupled to something else, which they would have to make strong enough for anyone. I think weight has more to do with how long the cord would be so that you’d know how far it can stretch without doom. I made that rationale up, but it sounds plausible to me.

    • I saw her on TV this morning, and she’s a twig. She can’t weigh more than 100 pounds. I think that rumor was started by the bungee’s insurance company.

    • I figure it’s possible to lie about your weight to a maximum of maybe 20 pounds before the person you’re lying to is like “Okay, nope.”
      So even if she did lie about her weight, the bungee people either didn’t care enough to politely ask “Are you sure you don’t mean kilograms instead of pounds, ma’am?”, or the margin of error on one of those ropes is wayyy too small.
      Both options are terrifying.

    • When I went bungee jumping they had a scale and weighed me twice

      • They shouldn’t have had to weigh you at all, because you shouldn’t have been there. DID YOUR PAST SELF NOT EVEN BOTHER TO READ THIS BLOG POST BEFORE IT WAS PUBLISHED? That is so irresponsible.

  8. I’ll do you one better and continue to not ever have seen that video.

  9. Uh, if they are picking cords for people depending on their weight, especially healthy looking young women, they should really just get one big cord for everyone under 250 pounds. And if you weigh 251 pounds, keep the dream alive for a few months and trim up. And then don’t bungee jump.

  10. The one thing you won’t hear in one of these disaster videos: “Dude, this is totally going on YouTube.”

  11. I saw this on the news this morning and the anchor kept saying ‘bumpy junging’ instead of ‘bungee jumping.’

  12. A broken rubber brought me into this world. It damn sure isn’t going to take me out.

  13. This reminds me of hearing how someone died “doing something they loved” which is always INCREDIBLY STUPID and it reminds me how happy I am that the things I love — watching TV, hanging out with my dog, taking naps — are significantly less dangerous than jumping out of planes or tightrope walking or doing that thing in Footloose where they stand between cars as the cars move. What I’m saying is that my loves do not involve heights of any kind.

    • If that is your dog in the picture, I also love it and would love hanging out with it if I actually knew it.
      It could prove deadly, because I could have a heart attack from how great that dog is. It is probably a good thing I do not know your dog.

  14. Holy moly. This is very frightening. I have been bungee jumping once before (technically I bungee fell forward) and it was lots of fun. I’m glad I didn’t see this video until now!

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