With so much great TV being available to watch at all times, it’s hard to make room for everything. That’s something that we all struggle with and, not to overstate things, but it’s almost definitely one of the worst problems that anyone will ever have to deal with in their entire lives in the whole world. For instance, I will probably never watch The Wire, and sometimes Toddlers and Tiaras just slips through the cracks. It’s no one’s fault. But when you have two equally compelling TV shows — The Wire and Toddlers and Tiaras — that for one reason or another you just never seem to make time for, you have to keep abreast with them somehow just so you have SOMETHING to talk about when everyone always brings them up. In terms of The Wire, luckily a guy named Omar was arrested this week. PHEW. Check that one off the list. In terms of Toddlers and Tiaras, we have this charming little clip encompassing all of the crazy nightmare aspects of the show with one contestant and her mother. Great. Thank goodness.

Hahah, uhhh…did anyone else hear when the girl said, “Beauty is so boring I don’t wanna do it”? Why did they even include that part if they’re not gonna GET INTO IT? Hello! EDITORS? Do you guys need some go-go juice or what? My second favorite quote is, “Her future plans is to be a couponer like her mother.” Hahah. Everything about that quote is something that I love about that quote. A+ job to you, pageant judge. And now we ALL get a trophy for participation. Honey boo boo. (Via Styleite.)

Comments (35)
  1. Checking Out

  2. That woman has A LOT of chins.

  3. I wonder what will happen when this girl realizes she is going to grow up to look a like her mother.

  4. Netflix’s recent addition of garbage reality tv is sullying my fine and respectable taste in entertainment. Send help.

  5. Oh god, I thought she said “it makes me feel like I wanna poo my mommy’s hair.”

    And I wasn’t really surprised?

  6. Can we get one of those guns that shoots a giant net and just shoot it at all the adults involved in this whole thing, and take a crane and lift them into a shipping container and ship them out to sea forever and ever? Then we need to find lesbian feminist couples in Brooklyn to adopt the kids. Who’s with me?

  7. Worst new party game – determine the difference between the mom’s age and the age she looks.

  8. I haven’t had my morning special juice yet. I’m feeling a little cranky. Luckily, I have some emergency stix in my desk drawer.

  9. I was shown this last night and COULD NOT believe it was real.

    While watching I was like, “Wow, that little girl has some great comedic sensibilities. They’re all really nailing this parody to a T.” When my friend told me it was real it was like my brain went dark. Rampant, rolling brown outs of sadness.

  10. The toilet paper throwing match was nearly as disturbing as force-feeding children Pixie Sticks and Mountain Dew. I just don’t understand these “couponers.” They are one step away from “Hoarders”!

  11. “Checking In WIth Toddlers and Tiaras”. NOPE.

  12. I feel like this show is just an insanely elaborate “To Catch a Preadator” spinoff and after 5 seasons or so Chris Hansen is going to show up to ask America awkward questions then arrest them. Life is more fun in my head.

  13. How does one become a judge for little girl beauty pageants? I think they need to just have all resumes be turned in at the police station and then they can arrest everyone that applies for pedophilia.

  14. I don’t know why any one is surprised that the Mom’s a creep. I mean she is the one who dumped Luke Skywalker in the pit with the Rancor monster, even after he made a gift of C-3PO and R2-D2**.

    **FLW Commentary — Was going to make the obvious Slave Leia/Her Daughter joke here, but it felt a little David O. Russell.

  15. More like, “Checking In With My Parole Officer To Make Sure I Haven’t Been Within 500 Yards Of A Playground.”

  16. SOMEONE MAKE A GIF OF THAT DEMON GARBAGE NIGHTMARE MOTHER DANCING! SOMEONE MAKE A GIF OF THAT DEMON GARBAGE NIGHTMARE MOTHER DANCING!I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE GIFS! SOMEONE MAKE A GIF OF THAT DEMON GARBAGE NIGHTMARE MOTHER DANCING.

  17. Riiiick, Riiiick, Riiiiick.

  18. This child…. is my spirit animal.

  19. I’m guessing that girl will be saying “a dollar makes me hollar, honey boo boo” SOOOO many more times in her life.

    this is simultaneously the saddest and most disgusting thing I have ever seen.

  20. I too am from Georgia and I would just like to say, we do not all partake in pageants or have extensive collections of coupons. We do, however, all say honey boo boo child…

    (awkward first comment= achieved.)

  21. Wow, I’m surprised at how sad watching this clip made me feel!

  22. As sad as this all is “my special juice is gonna help me win” is also my new catchphrase.

  23. HEY DONT TALK ABOUT HOONEY BOOBOO THATS MY CHILD

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