[Yeah, no, this interview with Kanye West is fake.]

Videogum: Kanye West!
Kanye West: Hi.
VG: A real interview with Kanye West. The boys on Facebook aren’t going to believe this.
KW: What’s Facebook?
VG: Seriously?
KW: Yeah. I mean, I’ve heard of it, but what is it?
VG: It doesn’t matter.
KW: Should I buy it?
VG: Uh…
KW: Hold on.

Kanye West signals to an assistant who leans in close to his ear. He whispers briefly and the assistant excuses himself from the room.

VG: You OK?
KW: I’m Kanye West.
VG: Right.
KW: I’m great.
VG: Right.
KW: Are we done? Is that the interview?

VG: No. What?
KW: Well, let’s pick up the pace. I have to be at a leather factory in Portugal in 20 minutes.
VG: I don’t think you’re going to make it to Portugal in 20 minutes.
KW: [laughs] [keeps laughing] You’re hilarious.

The assistant who left earlier returns and whispers something in Kanye’s ear. Kanye nods.

VG: You OK?
KW: You asked that already.
VG: What’s going on here?
KW: It’s your interview. You don’t know?
VG: I mean what do you guys keep whispering?
KW: He tryng to buy Facebok for me but it ist for sale.
VG: Man, you even TALK in typos.
KW: I just get excited.
VG: Right, so, that leads us to our interview. You went crazy on Twitter last night!
KW: I wouldn’t say crazy. I would say passionate. And creative. And a genius.
VG: Oh, yeah, no, I know what you would say. But you’re ridiculous.
KW: You’re boxing me in creatively.
VG: So, you’re launching a new company named after your mother. Do you want to tell us a little bit about it?
KW: DONDA is a multi-platform creative enterprise that’s going to revolutionize art and design and life on Earth for all people and my fans. We’re looking to change the way everything is made.
VG: Everything.
KW: Everything. I got big dreams. DONDA is going to employ writers, painters, musicians, filmmakers, lawyers, rabbis, surgeons, fishmongers, demigods, state legislatures, dragon eggs, longshoremen, Mr. Peanut, backup dancers, sous chefs, knights, the apes from Rise of the Planet of the Apes, macaroni and cheese–
VG: You’re going to employ macaroni and cheese?
KW: –Calvin and Hobbes. We doing big things.
VG: Of course you are. Now, are you starting this company in direct response to the conversations you’ve been having about working on The Jetsons movie?
KW: Yes.
VG: That’s hilarious.
KW: Thank you.
VG: That’s not exactly what I meant.
KW: Say what you mean, man. That’s what I do. I’m Kanye West. All i ever wanted to do was be everything do my fans and do create.
VG: You are getting excited again!
KW: Always, kid.
VG: Wait, but so, just to clarify, all of this nonsense that has been coming out of your mouth IS because someone in Hollywood asked you to be a consultant on The Jetsons movie, right?
KW: This is about art and life and creating and being true to yourself and making dreams happen and DONDA and sashimi platters and red eye flights to Miuccia Prada’s private Howl’s Floating Castle and throwing parties on the International Space Station and–
VG: Just answer the question. Is this all about the Jetsons movie?
KW: Yes.
VG: Hahaha. OK. Thanks for the interview, Kanye West. Have fun in Portugal.
KW: Peace and create and genius and fans. Yo, let’s stop off at Seth Meyers’s house on the way to the leather factory. I want him to tell me a joke!

Comments (35)
  1. He settled for the “creative director” credit because he was told they couldn’t put “Motherfucking Genius Visionary” in a children’s film.

  2. I know, I know. He was totally ridiculous last night, but I also find his enthusiasm really endearing and can’t hate. Keep doing what you’re doing girl.

  3. That ship cray!

    • y’see, if we were already in the Jetsons timeline, I would be able to get out my button-pushing finger and thumbs-up this comment ALL DAY.

      screw robot maids, somebody get on THAT for me.

  4. 1) Did you guys know the Jetsons timeline begins in 50 years?

    2) Kanye West is basically the Mr. Spacely of rap.

    • Hahha hahhaha “the Jetsons timeline”! As if it is a real thing, like Dr Who and Star Trek!

      • Well, the cartoon was written to take place in 2062. That’s all.

      • So my dreams of Michael Fassbender as the Hollywood Doctor that could take me away from all of this is failed?

        Because if a nice girl was ever in a great need of a Fassbender TARDIS it was that nice web editor in Los Feliz who skipped town… well I have a theory on that girl…

  5. He had better hurry up with his dreams. MC Hammer already has a search engine that rivals Google.

  6. Kanye West, I forever fan love yu!

  7. I updated my resume and portfolio and sent it with a cover letter contactDONDA@gmail.com.

    I’m still awaiting a response, but at least my resume is now up-to-date, and it’ll take less effort when I look for real new job.

    • “Dear ElectricKoala,

      I appreciate you sending me your resume; however, I regret to inform you that we are only interested in hiring brand name Mac’n'Cheese at this time. I do enjoy the fact that you have experience working with cut up hog dogs, which I feel is a great creative outlet for Mac’n'cheese, and I enjoyed reading your published research report on Baked Bacon Five Cheese Mac, but we at DONDA are interested in applicants that are talented in the raw form, as well as the casserole form.

      Please accept this plastic baggy full of gold teeth by way of apology.

      Sincerly,
      Kanye”

  8. UNRELATED: Was anyone else as frustrated as I was by the fact that Bill Watterson never revealed what happened in Calvin’s infamous Noodle Incident? The world needs to know!

    • Can I geek out on Waterson for a second? I’ve been going through all my old C&H collections lately and every time, I’m blown away. There are only two comedic works I adored in my early youth that yield so much more in adulthood*. Ghostbusters is one and Calvin and Hobbes is the other. If you haven’t read C&H in a while, please do. It’s as much for kids as it is about childhood.

      In going back to these collections, I remember going to the family dictionary to look up every word I didn’t understand. What positive influence Waterson infused into what was ostensibly a children’s entertainment. I don’t have children so I’m not qualified to answer this, but is there anything out there now that challenges kids today in the way that C&H did? I’m honestly asking, because I would love to check it out.

      C&H got seven-year-old me thinking about death, alienation, the opposite sex, outer space, time travel, education, parenting, nature and holy shit it would be boring if I went on. This all happened through genuine laughs. What that man did has probably changed the world for the better.

      *I thought about putting Shel Silverstein and Rhode Dahl on that list, but their not as committed to comedy as Waterson and Reitman, Murray, Aykroyd and Ramis were.

      • And yes, I still want to know about the Noodle Incident more than an adult man should. I’m assuming that he knows what happened, but it’s just a silly story with him and his wife or something.

        Come on, Bill, you’re only in your 50s! Please give us one more piece of brilliance! (I’m sure Bill Watterson reads Videogum and his next endeavor will be called Cake Eatur & Winwood.)

      • I agree. C&H transends. I think is the best way to say it. For adults and children…

      • YES in fact I was temporarily taken out of the magical illusion of fiction as my disbelief was unsuspended because I thought “no way does Kanye read C&H because if he did he’d be less of a doucher probably”
        As far as the noodle incident is concerned, I think we all know what happened.

        I always think of Calvin and Hobbes most of all in winter…the snowmen, the thoughts on the nice/naughty dichotomy and whether one can undo a year of naughty with only a few nice acts, certainly new year’s resolutions… I miss you, C&H!

      • I’m just gonna go ahead and assume that “Rhode” Dahl is a joke that went over my head. Please don’t tell me that you misspelled the first name of one of my favourite authors. Please don’t hurt me like that.

  9. Bleh. I think he’s a twat.

    This was an excellent fake interview, though.

  10. was by the fact that Bill Watterson never revealed what happened in Calvin’s infamous Noodle Incident? The world needs to know!Maybe u never heared about that place, but if u want find sth interesting or stimulating, this best place wWw,,richsingleclub,cOm ,u cant miss.

    • Are you like a cyborg? Your posts are spam but like how Kanye would do spam if he were half cyborg I guess? It does delight me. Though I don’t think anyone reading comments on this website can afford http://www.richsinglesclub.com

      • It creeps me out that it randomly selects posts to copy in order to cleverly bait people into buying into their spam. But it really creeps me out that it has randomly selected my posts three times now. There should be a special award for the people that get “tony Paker’ed”.

        It’s like spam Bingo.

        • I was thinking the same thing. I went back to her/his/its post history, and I got a little scared. It’s like the text version of the Uncanny Valley.

  11. Hooray for the fake interviews! You should do five of these a day for three summers.

  12. I feel like Kanye should write a song about his love affair with the caps-lock key.

  13. Eh. So what if he’s ridiculous? He’s entertaining, passionate and actually has the talent to back up what he’s saying and unlike say…Gwyneth Paltrow…he has a sense of humour about his own ridiculousness.

  14. That Twitter rant was adorable. I really wish I was friends with Kanye after reading that.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.