That was wonderful, Timothy. The rest of you, STOP LAUGHING! (Via BlameItOn.)

Comments (33)
  1. Sweet turtle story. High five

  2. Why would ANYBODY laugh at this? Even if he does tend towards slant-rhyme, so does the TMNT theme song, to that fits. Also, Timothy is clearly friends with an oversized anthropomorphic turtle who knows ninjitsu, and sees ruined pizza as being worse than the fact that his friend just committed cold-blooded murder as a response to trespassing. Basically, you do NOT want to piss this kid off.

  3. Sadly, by the time the third movie came out, Timothy had moved on to Pokemon. His “Ode to Squirtle” lacked much of the heartfelt sentiment that made “To Leonardo, With Love” a classic.

  4. Sai. It’s gonna be so sad when that kid gets to high school and chucks out his only friend to hang out with some party dudes.

  5. I love you Tim
    You are my only friend
    You were in the club, man
    You were in the club
    Need I say it again

    All these years of friendship
    You were in the club
    You were drawing caricatures of people
    and all the caricatures looked the same
    You’d be drawing people in the club

  6. Looks like a punker……..I hate punkers.

  7. Blessid Union of Souls did it.

  8. And yet no one laughs about the Grateful Dead tribute to the hokey-masked claustrophobic.

  9. Donatello is the best Ninja Turtle of the Teenage Mutant kind,
    Not a better pizza eating machine you could ever find

    Be-Bop and Rock Steady cower in fear,
    Whenever the turtle who wears purple is near

    Smarter than Mikey and with less angst than Raf,
    Leo wishes he could wield the bow staff

    Donatello is the best Ninja Turtle indeed,
    April wishes she could carry his mutant seed

    • Basattak is the greatest monster by far
      He can post while playing the guitar
      He deserves all the upvotes
      And none of the downvotes

      Rock over London, Rock on Chicago.
      TBS. Very Funny

  10. “Really Timothy? You’re using such an inconsistent rhyme scene, not to mention that parameter being all out of whack. And kitano instead of katana? Do your research, dude!” – Chris Gethard, King of Authors

  11. If I were to ever hang out with a TMNT, it would clearly be Michelangelo. He’s the party dude. Bet he parties like a rockstar til dawn.

  12. Personally a fan of Michelanjello

  13. I always wondered why their pupils disappeared when they put on their masks.

  14. i have some info for any monsters (or timothy himself?!) with timothy’s level of devotion for tmnt – i drove by the farm that time forgot last week and it seems that someone has renovated the place. that is right! now you can live in a piece of movie history in eastern north carolina while pretending like it is upstate new york!

  15. Sorry to burst your bubble, but this wasn’t written by a kid.
    This is a fake column found in The Stranger, an alt weekly from Seattle. The fake columns always appear to the top right of the Last Days column by David Schmader (the guy who does the commentary for the Showgirls DVD). It’s written by one of their staff. You can read this week’s installment of poetry by a fake person (in this case, cat) here:

  16. Namely, this is from the Oct 9 – Oct 15, 2003 issue of the Stranger. Look for the cut-off text below the picture under the link, under October 4.

  17. These will be my wedding vows.

  18. it would clearly be Michelangelo. He’s the party dude. Bet he parties like a rockstar til dawn.Maybe u never heared about that place, but if u want find sth interesting or stimulating, this best place ,u cant miss.

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