For as much talk as there is about how the Internet is free for everyone, that’s not entirely true. For one thing, getting onto the Internet is a costly and/or smelly activity. You could go to a Starbucks, but no one wants to do that, and if you go to the public library then you have to wait your turn with the rest of the homeless people, depending on where they’re at in their computer-to-bathroom-to-reading-room-nap-to-computer-to-bathroom cycle. Also you need a computer, and even though WE all have computers, it’s not like everyone has computers. (This may be obvious, but my question, if it is so obvious, is why don’t you ACT LIKE IT, THEN?) Once you actually get on the Internet, some of its better services require more money, and the ones that don’t are real GARBAGE SWAMPS a lot of the time. I’m just trying to establish the relatively simplistic but important point that the Internet, in fact, isn’t free and for everyone. It’s actually quite restricted. Which is why this video of a young man dancing in various parking lots and empty office park courtyards to Jay-Z and Kanye West’s smash hit single “Niggas in Paris” represents OUR Internet. The Internet of the 99%!

So many on-line dancing videos are representative of what I was just talking about: the monied, rarified, Private Internet of the Privileged Classes. You’ve got YouTube dance battles between legitimate International Celebrities. You’ve got “ironic” instructional dance videos from would-be comedic actors trying to make a name for themselves outside of whatever Harold Night you can usually see them at. You’ve got the asexual release of clinically diagnosed extroverts. Hell, even this kid doing a lip dub to “Boom Boom Pow” is doing it in an Apple Store. Must be nice! But it’s nice to finally find one of OUR dancers out here. You know who I’m talking about: someone who can’t dance and who seems embarrassed to be caught doing so on camera. How long is this song? 100 years? When will it end so we can all get out of here? I’m not trying to get a cameo in a commercial for pistachios, I just want to go home! Here he is. Our boy!

POWER OR WHATEVER, IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, WE’RE FINE, THANKS, TO THE PEOPLE! (Thanks for the tip, Trey.)

Comments (15)
  1. This song is longer than my arm

  2. Neckbeard Honkys in Oklahoma City

  3. I heard he danced to the song ten times in a row in the Taco Bell parking lot.

  4. looks like he learned his killer moves from Darrin.

  5. This shit weird
    He Ain’t Even s’posed ta be there

  6. So are the internet’s 1% the people behind the camera holding the shotgun?

  7. ME: “what is the secret to your dancing?”
    HIM “these ratty-ass new balances i found in the attic”

  8. Thank god he informed us that this was the unofficial video. I never would have guessed.

  9. Oh no! Harold Night has been dismissed and it stiiiiiings!

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