It’s not weird that Courtney Love and Gwyneth Paltrow know each other. That’s normal. They’re both very famous and have been for a long time and ever since I saw that video about the Arctic Monkeys going to Diddy’s house just to hang out I have pretty much assumed that everyone who’s ever been nominated for a Kid’s Choice Award knows each other, or whatever. But as Dlisted points out, Courtney Love posted a very mysterious tweet on New Year’s Eve:

Courtney Courtney Love Cobain
getting the best advise for the new years from a true friend, love you @GwynethPaltrow @Goop
31 Dec

What was the best “advise” that she got? “If you want to remove a caviar stain from your Dior spacesuit, the best thing to use is a little sel de camargue mixed with Voss. But not just regular Voss. You know the kind that comes in the platinum decanter? Or, I mean, honestly, who are we kidding, just throw it away and buy a new one! Oh, and stop doing so much drugs.” Oh Gwyneth. Sometimes it is almost as if you are TOO helpful. TWO THOUSAND AND GOOP.

Comments (21)
  1. Was it how to maintain a macrobiotic diet while still eating endangered whale meat?

  2. They get along because both of them would rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can. Just for different reasons.

  3. Maybe it was just how to spell “advice” in British?

  4. Eat more Goop.

  5. I’ll bet Gwyneth is incapable of being around Courtney Love without mentioning the fact that both of them have been married to “rock stars.”

  6. “Courtney, dear, my advise to you is to change the spelling of your name to Kourtney Kove, colour your hair dark, and manoeuvre a big, smashing wedding to a famous athlete. And never, NEVER, apologise for anything.”

  7. I really hope this fosters a Hole/GOOP Tour in 2012.

  8. Urgent note to Chris Martin: Remove all shotguns from the house NOW.

  9. We should all start writing in letters to her asking for advice for our real life problems. Not antagonistic or sarcastically but if you need advice (and in 2012, who doesn’t??)- I’m sure she’d love to give some!

    fanmail.biz, help me out! http://www.fanmail.biz/7627.html

    Forget Dear Abby; operation Dear Gwynnie starts now! gwynniegum everywhere!

  10. “The best way to manage a hangover is to spend 10 days on a private island near Bali, preferably drinking saffron-infused mineral water and being fanned by a staff of minions. I prefer to have six on call at any time, though I fly nine with me just in case my dear friends should pop in for a little R and R. xoxoxo, Gwynnie”

  11. “if you plan on running over someone in your car, do it during a terrorist attack. they’ll thank you for it later.”

  12. “Please stop urinating in my potted plants”

    (Full disclosure: I am one of the few stalwart GOOP Defenders. We are like the planeteers, only our power is to be smug.)

  13. “Do what you lurve.”

  14. Oh, man, I cringed so hard when I read that headline. I prayed that it was intentional, and lo, it was. Thank you, Jesus.

  15. “Don’t socialize with the help. And for god’s sakes don’t let them touch you. Ever. I was actually in a movie about that whole issue. It was great.”

  16. “Do what you lurve.”Maybe you want to check out wWw==richsingleclub.COM==. It’s the largest and best club for seeking CEOs, athletes, doctors, lawyers, investors, entrepreneurs, beauty queens, fitness models, and Hollywood celebrities. It also features certified m illionaire and verified beautiful women. What’s the most important is: you dont have to be a m illionaire, but you can meet one. I believe you will success there since I found my true love there.

  17. “Just leave me alone” is actually pretty good advice in this case.

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