This week we’re doing something slightly different with Monsters’ Ball, as it’s nearing the end of 2011 and is now the time to look back and remember. So, in honor of remembering, we’ve gathered together your top 50 highest rated comments of the year. GREAT! I’m so excited. This is like every award show on TV except a lot better because who cares about any of the people on those shows! It has been said many times before but it certainly bears repeating that you guys make up the best commenting community on the Internet and that is a fact. And, personally, if I can be personal for a moment, you have all been incredibly welcoming to me this year and I am very, very grateful for that. You are the best. And you are all very funny. And I love all of you. And will you all marry me? And ANYWAY, before we all start crying on each other, who do you think is number one in this list?! Quick, guess at who you think is number one. Ok. Now remember that for when you look at the list.

And just as a head’s up, so you have all the info, Gabe and I won’t be posting regularly to the site throughout the next week because it’s the holidays and the holidays are wonderful and we have to make the most of the time that we have here on Earth. But we WILL be posting some 2011 year-end favorites lists throughout the week! So keep an eye out for those! THEY’RE GREAT!

Finally, because it is a different kind of Monsters’ Ball there won’t be any editors choices this week, but before we forget, the winner of the Bill Clinton And Mindy Kaling Caption Contest is topknot with the comment, “Subtle and Not-So-Subtle Sexuality.” Congratulations, topknot! You earned it. Now, LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT THOSE COMMENTS!

2011′s Top 50 Highest Rated Comments

#50 thepurplemonk | Feb 23rd Score:105

See, this is why I proposed to my girlfriend drunk and naked after sex. I had a mask on, so all the strangers around me couldn’t see how devastated I was when she ran out of the room.

Posted in: This Is Your Food Court Marriage Proposal
#49 R2D2, Esq. | Dec 7th Score:106

What the fuck is he on about? Who’s fighting a war on religion? When did Obama make any rules at all regarding school prayer? The Supreme Court banned school-led prayer about a million years ago! And for fuck’s sake, you ARE allowed to pray in school!

There are so many actual problems in the world, and these fuckwits are making up phony ones to rile up my least favorite cousins on Facebook. A pox on your house, dickweed.

Posted in: It Is Almost Crazy How Much Rick Perry Knows What He’s Talking About
#48 super! | Mar 9th Score:106

i have been to EPCOT so i think i know a thing or two about international travel. and the future.

Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: The Tea Party IS Racist And There ARE A Lot Of Ignorant Americans
#47 the hammer is my penis | Jan 20th Score:106

While visiting his dad on set, Chet Hanks stopped to give a shout out to all his knitters.

Posted in: Tom Hanks? More Like Tom PRANKS!
#46 southernbitch | Jul 21st Score:107

we both like soup. we could talk or not talk for hours.

Posted in: That’s Your Girlfriend: Courtney Stodden
#45 the narrator | Apr 5th Score:107

“I immediately need to come up with a way to not blame this on her weight.” – Chmerkovskiy

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Kirstie Alley Falling On Dancing With The Stars
#44 principal enchman | Feb 21st Score:108

Is it just a coincidence that the first day after “Guest Blogger week” the WMOAT is “I’m Still Here”? And on top of that, next week’s is “Remember Me.”

I’m starting to worry about Gabe, you guys.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: I’m Still Here
#40 topknot | Jul 27th Score:110

I can’t wait until I will read this letter again 10 years from today and miss Videogum.

Posted in: An Open Letter To The Disease Of Nostalgia
#39 lawblog | Mar 28th Score:110

If this prophecy comes true I know a certain girl from UCLA who’s going to have the worst time in libraries.

Posted in: This Is Just A Good Political Ad That Is Neither Racist Nor Insane*
#38 backwaxer | Jan 10th Score:110

what is this, 20 questions?

Posted in: The Videogum Movie Club: Country Strong
#37 Frank Lloyd Wrong | Jan 31st Score:111

Better movie? Better movie.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Eat, Pray, Love
#36 That One | Apr 29th Score:112

Holy shit. Boys becoming men. Men becoming fathers. This is like the season finale of Videogum.

Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
#35 R2D2, Esq. | Mar 23rd Score:112

Dear Gabe,

But he promised he’ll never do it again! You just don’t know him like I do. Sometimes, when we’re alone, he can be so sweet. I really think he’s gonna change this time.

Yours truly,

Good Morning America

Posted in: An Open Letter To Good Morning America Concerning The Chris Brown Situation
#34 huckabeast | Jul 29th Score:114

Bill Nye’s experience in talking to young children serves him well in a variety of formats, it seems.

Posted in: Fox News Anchor Disproves Global Warming, Leaves Bill Nye Stunned
#33 That One | Jun 27th Score:115

My girlfriend thinks the same with me. She is 24 years older than me, lol. We met at Ag’eM’in’g’le The premiere club for older women seek younger men to meet and share your interests and sometimes milk and sandwiches and pools and blu tooth lol.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Spread
#32 werttrew | Mar 10th Score:116

“We’ve traced the sext, it’s coming from inside the house!”

Posted in: Best New Party Game 48: Shut Up, Dad
#31 R2D2, Esq. | Jan 25th Score:116

I have 2 thoughts on this post.

1. It is in poor taste.

2. I am not above this.

Posted in: Gwyneth Paltrow Upskirt
#30 That One | Apr 19th Score:117

I give it about two weeks before a “puts (…) up ass” joke is the highest-rated comment of the week.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Carrot Top Straightened His Hair
#29 aunt martha | Jun 10th Score:118

If I found my teenage son in bed with a boy, I’d be mad too I guess. But only because I didn’t start smooching girls until after high school. My children need to fail at the same rate as me. It’s every father’s dream.

Posted in: The Videogum “Tracy Morgan Promise”: Tracy Morgan Is A Nightmare Homophobe And Worst Of All He Is Lazy About It And The End Of The Videogum “Tracy Morgan Promise”
#28 topknot | Apr 26th Score:118

“It’s days like this when my job feels like ‘Worst Lady.’” -Michelle Obama

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Michelle Obama Watches Al Roker And Kelly Ripa Eat A Crepe
#27 Godsauce | Mar 21st Score:118

I do not doubt that a blogger who asks every other viral video star to be his dad has father issues.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Garden State
#25 Godsauce | Feb 14th Score:119

I would have watched it, but I was too busy buying a DOUCHEBAG.

Posted in: Saturday Night Live: Russell Brand and Chris Brown
#24 topknot | Aug 30th Score:121

“Don’t ever cross me.”

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Angelina Jolie Vanity Fair Photoshoot
#23 Steve Winwood | Mar 21st Score:121

here’s what I hate about zack braff: he produced this movie for one reason and one reason only and that was to kiss my future bride natalie portman, who can never be un-kissed by this ugly chinless Mr. Alternative Quirk balls.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Garden State
#22 pennyarcade | Mar 23rd Score:122

“Let’s see…if I just delete “brown” from my username, no one will know it’s me…”

Posted in: An Open Letter To Good Morning America Concerning The Chris Brown Situation
#20 That One | May 16th Score:125

“Something something 90 minutes of Ryan Reynolds in MY box.”

- thisismynightmare

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Summer Series
#19 stu | Jun 10th Score:126

It’s just really weird that an angry misogynist would attract Chris Brown fans to his blog.

Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
#17 werttrew | May 2nd Score:129

Osama’s hideout looked awfully familiar…

Posted in: Osama Bin Laden Dead OR: Animated GIFs Of Animals Falling Asleep
#16 itsahotdog! | Feb 1st Score:129

To combat early childhood depression, Gwyneth Paltrow suggests winning a SAG award.

Posted in: The Videogum “Why Don’t YOU Caption It?” Contest: Modern Family SAG Awards Doll Fight
#15 Son of Gabe | Apr 29th Score:131

More on the bullying: after listening to my fellow monsters and a little soul searching I came out to a select group of friends yesterday. While all were very surprised, they were even more understanding. I feel like such a weight has been lifted off my chest and I feel more confident now than I have in years, I’d just like to thank you guys for encouraging me.

Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
#14 Patrick M | Aug 18th Score:132

It’s like they say: “When God closes a door he kills 3,000 people.”

Posted in: “Gwyneth Paltrow Saved A Life On Sept. 11″
#12 That One | Apr 19th Score:135

You’ve gotta give him props for trying something new.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Carrot Top Straightened His Hair
#10 That One | Feb 28th Score:137

“Knock Knock?”

“Who’s there?”


“9/11 who?”

“You swore you’d never forget.”

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Remember Me
#9 Frank Lloyd Wrong | May 4th Score:138

Now you know why she changed her last name from Kathie Lee Jpegford

Posted in: New Videogum Promise: Kathie Lee Gifford Dancing Animated GIFs
#8 lilbobbytables | Jun 10th Score:139

If I found my teenage son in bed with a boy, I would be mad because last time I checked I did not have children so something really weird is going on. Also, my apartment only has one bed so stop having sex in my bed, fake son! Did I teach you no manners?

Posted in: The Videogum “Tracy Morgan Promise”: Tracy Morgan Is A Nightmare Homophobe And Worst Of All He Is Lazy About It And The End Of The Videogum “Tracy Morgan Promise”
#7 the narrator | Feb 14th Score:139

On Valentine’s Day I got a list of dudes my wife wants to bang.

Worst V Day ever.

Posted in: I’d Hit That: Oscar Edition
#5 werttrew | Apr 29th Score:145

Hey monsters! Those of you who follow me on Twitter or Facebook already know, but as of yesterday, I’m now a father! Mom and baby are doing great. Elizabeth Rose was born April 28 at 2:34 p.m. weighing 6 lbs, 10 oz and was 20.5 inches long.

Birth is terribly strange. There is something primal and alien and weird about how this tiny person, frantically waving her blue hands covered in red slime, slid headfirst from a groin into a crowd of smiling strangers. I could smell her being born–she smelled of blood and something else, sweet and anciently familiar. The baby was tethered to mother by a gnarly gray cord, which her happy weeping father cut. Then she bawled and bawled and people vigorously rubbed her down with rough towels and handed her to a beaming mother. Strange and wonderful. I don’t know if I’m making sense. I’ve slept six hours in three days.

Posted in: Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
#3 Polythene Pam | Apr 8th Score:159

“my father’s daughter” was the only way Gwyneth Paltrow could convince her publishers to let her call the book “Me”

Posted in: A Review Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook
#2 Notsewfast | Mar 10th Score:166


Posted in: Best New Party Game 48: Shut Up, Dad

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Wonderful job everyone, and a special congratulations to Frank Lloyd Wrong! You really did it! You ALL really did it! This year is going to be tough to beat, but I know that if anyone can top you guys it's YOU GUYS! So have a wonderful holiday and I'll see you back here in 2012!]

Comments (48)
  1. I’m disappointed you didn’t include worst comment of the year. I’m pretty sure I would’ve had that one locked up.

  2. I guess you can say thirteen was my lucky number this year

  3. That Monster’s Ball thread with Werttrew’s, Son of Gabe’s & That One’s Comment is my vote for comment thread of the year. If you haven’t read it you should go back and read it, it thought me the true meaning of Monster’s Ball.

  4. Kinda wish the birth of Werttrew’s child had gotten him #1, but gosh darn, that Carrot Top joke still gets me.

    Congratulations on the year, everyone! Congratulations on the HOLIDAYS!

  5. Lame. It’s like they just copied and pasted Pitchfork’s list.

  6. Nice work this year, Monsters! Have a good holiday! You are all pretty and smart!

  7. Great year team! See you all in 2012!

  8. We had some fun this year, Monsters! Thanks for everything Gabe and Kelly! Let’s all do just as great next year and make sure we go out with a bang. Merry Christmas to all!

  9. Great work everyone. The monsters remain the smartest, nicest, funniest, and above averagest people on the internet. Let’s make 2012 the best, and regrettably last, year ever!

  10. Another reason to be glad for VGum? Now we finally know what the smoke monster’s dong looks like!

  11. i just went back and upvoted you all again!

  12. I’m scotching it right now, folks. Scooooooootch. Anyone else?


  13. So theoretically, if I were to come out on the day my child is born, the comment summarizing this day should win this thing next year.

  14. Hi, gang. Just logging in from my mother-in-law’s kitchen to say what an enjoyable year I had with you guys here in the comments, over on the Twitter, and even IRL.

    Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and I look forward to spending humanity’s final year here on Earth with my many VGum friends.

  15. Top Rated comment of the year?

    “‘And Alexander wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer’ Hans Gruber, Die Hard.’ Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock” — Frank Lloyd Wrong, Videogum

  16. Congrats to everyone who commented this year. You are all so funny and I’m sincerely proud to know all of you, and try to weirdly explain who you are to people who don’t read this site.

    Thanks for a great one internet besties. Let’s make 2012 the best and last year ever.


  17. Happy holidays everyone.

  18. Thank you, Monsters, for brightening a very difficult year. You made me laugh when I thought nothing could. You are all awesome. Or, in the local vernacular, you all are awesome!

  19. You’re all wonderful. Videogum is a great place, and “knowing” all of you makes me very happy. I hope 2012 is great for all of you!

    • And of course I would like to give a big thanks to Gabe, Kelly, Soft Gabe, Birdie, and everyone else who helped the blog sausage get made this year.

  20. Aww…this was all smiles. ♥

    Happy Holidays Guys. I can’t wait for the New/Final Year!

  21. Hey, I made the list! Ya’ll haven’t forgotten me after all! <3

  22. Merry Christmas Monsters! And especially Merry Christmas to Kate, the best mom a blog could ask for! This is for you, Kate.

    • Thanks Flully! You guys are all the best. I’m so glad Kelly has found such a great place to work with such nice, smart and hilarious people. I’m late posting because I was busy taking care of Kelly and the brothers (but mostly Kelly) yesterday. Merry Christmas!

  23. You guys are my favorite! Thanks for a great year!!

    Now let’s all work on our 2012 bunker plans because that’s no joke.

  24. I laughed all the way through this list. We are funny people, turns out!

    I just don’t appreciate how much harder getting that Full EGOT just became.

  25. Taking home the 6 spot. I did do something this year. God damn i miss the monsters.

  26. Happy Holidays everyone! Now when does the “A Christmas Story” marathon start?

  27. Oh. Is there a separate post for the Top 50 Facetaco Comments coming?

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