(via Things They Should Invent)

Don Draper is an old man and needs to get out of the game.

Obviously, I recognize that this is fake rap, and I want there to be no confusion: the dedicated campaign to eradicate fake rap continues APACE in ’09. But the thing that makes fake rap so abysmal is the tendency among fake rappers to assume that all you have to do to rap is make silly rhymes and move your hands around. It’s insulting and probably a little bit racist (“that music what’s just people talking”), and that is why it has to go. But that’s not what’s happening here. Sure, they’re making silly rhymes, and some of them even move their hands around (Gary Ballard!) but this is something different. No one here is under the impression that they’re actually rapping. I’m pretty sure three-quarters of the people in this video don’t even understand the words they’re saying. And I’m absolutely positive that four-quarters of them are your boyfriend.

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Comments (10)
  1. Tough economic times make people do crazy things. Like combine rap, cheerleading, white sweaters, and discount groceries.

    What a turbulent age we live in.

  2. This video wins the award for most words that almost rhyme with shuffle.

  3. these people are like animated corpses… and the world *animated* is being applied very liberally….

    because these people are just barely moving.

  4. “We’re all enthused”? Nope…

    COME ON old white guys, listen to the beat!

  5. Crentist  |   Posted on Jan 5th, 2009

    this video….which was made circa ’86……is going to set white people of today back about 60 years. Thanks SFB!!!!!

  6. bree  |   Posted on Jan 5th, 2009

    well, what’s notable is that this is a rip-off of another fake rap, the superbowl shuffle. so perhaps it’s somewhat tolerable because it’s a fake rap that takes on fake rap? like an enigma wrapped in a puzzle of stupid?

  7. Wayne is my favorite!!!!!!

  8. karl  |   Posted on Jan 6th, 2009

    The first, um, rapper was clearly the winner of the Super Broker Shuffle. He must be the “cool guy” in the office. But the other dudes were the true winners. I want to be their grandkids.

  9. Caleb  |   Posted on Jan 8th, 2009

    woah! sufjan stevens! 1:01…so that’s what he’s been up to…

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