I guess it’s as good of a time as ever to remind you all that winter is the scariest and most dangerous time of the year. As we enjoy the holiday season and this year’s oddly warm temperatures (here in New York City) (where everyone lives?), it’s easy to forget that just on the other side of 2012 there awaits a seemingly never-ending nightmare. One of bitter cold, snowstorms during which you have to walk places and you can’t really because of all the snow and the snow gets into your boots that are supposed to be waterproof and then on top of everything else you have wet socks, coats that are never warm enough, the loss of the charm that the day ending at 4PM currently has a loose grip on, and lots of ice. Ice is maybe the worst part because a lot of the time it’s invisible and ALL of the time it makes you so embarrassed when you fall on it, because you look like a huge goof and everybody knows what just happened to you and that it could have easily happened to them, but the fact that it happened to you and NOT them makes them feel smart and you feel stupid. Right? FOR EXAMPLE:

Remember on Metallica’s Behind the Music where they told the story about how their driver said the van slid on black ice and that’s how their band member — Cliff Burton — died? But then James Hetfeild was like, “I walked up and down the road and I didn’t find ANY black ice.” And he said the driver’s breath smelled like alcohol? That’s not a good ice story because the implication is that the driver was drunk and that’s why he got into an accident, not because of the ice that didn’t exist, but WHAT IF IT HAD BEEN THE ICE? Super scary stuff. Stay safe out there. And don’t go on any staircases that are 100% clearly covered in ice. What were you even thinking? (Via Abroath.)

Comments (17)
  1. Do you see what icy?

  2. When I was in college (Ladies), there was a steep concrete walkway that went past my house, so on an especially cold night we poured a ton of water down it to ice it over and surfed down it in recycling bins. But then we got tired of that and went inside and watched people fall down it.

    • I went to a bar once that was easily 10 guys for every girl, and there were two girls with me, so any creepy guys sober enough to do the math thought they would come over and try their luck with one of them. We found a chair that was broken, but could be propped up so it looked solid. The guys would invariably come over, try to sit in the chair, break the whole thing, and just leave immediately. That was the BEST night.

      This had nothing to do with your story, except that you reminded me of that chair, and I really miss that thing.

  3. I am sorry you had that ICEcident

  4. Dear Whomever Iced That path (nature? the person filming it?),

    Thank you for giving me the the third greatest gift of all: schadenfreude.

    Merry Xmas.

  5. These people on ice are still more coordinated than Uzbekistanis on a escalator.

  6. Plaintiff attorneys are so hard right now.

  7. Dude at 0:25
    “Shit shit shit shit shit… AAAWWW YEAH

  8. Aaaahhhh….natural selection.

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