Grab your tinfoil hats! Grab your Santa hats, actually! Forget the tinfoil hats, WE DON’T HAVE TIME! Grab your Christmas trees and your Menorahs and your snow boots and your presents! Grab all your favorite holiday movies and Christmas specials, like the Pee-Wee Herman Christmas special and the California Raisins Christmas special, and don’t forget your combo DVD/VHS player and your TV, and load them in your emergency backpack! I’m sorry I didn’t mention Hanukkah TV specials, I’m sure there are lots of good ones, grab those too! IT’S THE HOLIDAYS, I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE DOING THIS TO US DURING THE HOLIDAYS, LET’S GTFOOOOOOUTTTTTTT!

Recently in the town of Cowley County, Kansas, local residents were shocked to see what looked like a flying saucer being towed by a military truck down US77. It was large, flying saucer shaped, and covered in tarp. Was it full of aliens from outer-space? That information has yet to be released. Of course, the government was quick to come up with an excuse, from Gizmodo:

The UTO (unidentified towed object) was actually an X-47B Unmanned Combat Air System, a drone designed to operate from aircraft carriers. Northrop Grumman has confirmed they were shipping the lethal wing to the Naval Air Station Patuxent River, Maryland. There it will be tested on an airstrip designed as a carrier runway.

Uh, well, aside from the word “Maryland,” ALL of those words sound like martian words to me, so this is hardly the government’s best coverup. To think, they’d drive a flying saucer right down our streets and then have the audacity to give us such a flimsy excuse. Have a little respect, OBAMA. See for yourselves:

Guys. WHAT IF THIS IS AN ALIEN AIRCRAFT? No Muldero, but I’m pretty 100% sure that this is an alien aircraft. Hidden in plain sight in Kansas? That was a genius strategy, but not genius enough! We got ‘em! We know the truth! Now all that’s left to do is enjoy the holidays with the knowledge that an space war awaits us right on the other side of 2012. Will we win? It’s almost impossible to say, but one thing I know for sure is that, by the end, we’ll all wish we were dead anyway. It was nice to know you, Earth! See you on the other side! (Via Gizmodo.)

Comments (20)
  1. No Scullyo, but I don’t believe you!

  2. “Northrop Grumman?”

    Nice try, aliens.

  3. i bet the aliens came over from Arkansas.

  4. Whatever, that’s probably just a giant Dreidl-shaped-float hidden under that tarp

    It’s for the Cowley County multi-denominational holiday-season parade

  5. Merry X-Filesmas everyone!

  6. I’ve been preparing for this moment all year! Which means, I’ve been re-watching The X-Files on Netflix all year.

  7. The truth is out there (getting last minute presents)

  8. “After all, the massive load’s shape would surely draw enough attention on its own.”

    TWSS of the year, maybe?

  9. UTO? More UBO (unidentified boring object).

  10. They say it’s an airplane, but i know an airplane, it looks like this!

  11. Wait a minute… I remember this movie. Wasn’t it called Flight of the Navigator? I bet theres some kid in their and an alien that looks like a Poppler from Futuruama.

  12. Well I think it could be an X-47B without wings.Or possibly a wingless RQ-170 try looking those up and comparing shapes. Or it could be a wingless military drone that the public does not know about. I am just adding possible options, but it is definitely an Unidentified Covered Object or a UCO, which is a close relative of the UFO.

  13. It sounds to me like the TOWN is inhabited by beings from an alternate reality. Anyone could build a frame and throw a tarp on it and drive through any town and get the same result.

  14. i ran a truckstop for over thirty years, and i have seen a lot of these. its a boat. shrink wrapped for protection.

  15. Would it be nice if this were an actual UFO but the truth is more than like an military drone, there are cases that are more than compelling, for a list of cases most with short write up and video – check out
    http://www.educatinghumanity.com/p/most-credible-ufo-cases.html

  16. LMAO… I wonder how many advanced beings use tires on their intergalactic craft. They probably came to earth to pick up a cheap set of Yokohamas.

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