Grab your tinfoil hats! Grab your Santa hats, actually! Forget the tinfoil hats, WE DON’T HAVE TIME! Grab your Christmas trees and your Menorahs and your snow boots and your presents! Grab all your favorite holiday movies and Christmas specials, like the Pee-Wee Herman Christmas special and the California Raisins Christmas special, and don’t forget your combo DVD/VHS player and your TV, and load them in your emergency backpack! I’m sorry I didn’t mention Hanukkah TV specials, I’m sure there are lots of good ones, grab those too! IT’S THE HOLIDAYS, I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE DOING THIS TO US DURING THE HOLIDAYS, LET’S GTFOOOOOOUTTTTTTT!
Recently in the town of Cowley County, Kansas, local residents were shocked to see what looked like a flying saucer being towed by a military truck down US77. It was large, flying saucer shaped, and covered in tarp. Was it full of aliens from outer-space? That information has yet to be released. Of course, the government was quick to come up with an excuse, from Gizmodo:
The UTO (unidentified towed object) was actually an X-47B Unmanned Combat Air System, a drone designed to operate from aircraft carriers. Northrop Grumman has confirmed they were shipping the lethal wing to the Naval Air Station Patuxent River, Maryland. There it will be tested on an airstrip designed as a carrier runway.
Uh, well, aside from the word “Maryland,” ALL of those words sound like martian words to me, so this is hardly the government’s best coverup. To think, they’d drive a flying saucer right down our streets and then have the audacity to give us such a flimsy excuse. Have a little respect, OBAMA. See for yourselves:
Guys. WHAT IF THIS IS AN ALIEN AIRCRAFT? No Muldero, but I’m pretty 100% sure that this is an alien aircraft. Hidden in plain sight in Kansas? That was a genius strategy, but not genius enough! We got ‘em! We know the truth! Now all that’s left to do is enjoy the holidays with the knowledge that an space war awaits us right on the other side of 2012. Will we win? It’s almost impossible to say, but one thing I know for sure is that, by the end, we’ll all wish we were dead anyway. It was nice to know you, Earth! See you on the other side! (Via Gizmodo.)