Over the weekend, the Republican candidates for President of the United States engaged in yet another televised debate, and apparently things are getting important now or something because I think stuff happens in January that will make some of them pack their knives and go because they will be the weakest links goodbye. In any case, one time front-runner MItt Romney (who is losing ground to Newt Gingrich, because apparently someone successfully time-jumped) really put his foot in it during a disagreement with Texas governor Rick Perry when, in the midst of a disagreement over health care reform, Mitt Romney claimed Rick Perry was misrepresenting his position on the matter and extended his hand to try and place a $10,000 bet to resolve the issue. LOL. The rest of the candidates made fun of this goof on the Sunday morning political talk shows, as the rest of the candidates are wont to do. They mostly point out that a $10,000 bet highlights Mitt Romney’s wealth, which as you know, is a big no-no if you want to be President. You’re supposed to suck on shoe leather and stick your hands in your overalls. LET’S RASSLE US A BEER, BOYS! (In the candidates’ defense(s), it is a tricky line they have to walk. It’s hard to become a successful politician these days without a lot of money, and people also like to bet on winners, but then you can’t be seen as out of touch with “the people,” and in general the whole thing is a big mess but you already knew that so I’m sorry I wasted your time pointing out the obvious.) This is not the first time that a candidate of either party has offered some kind of LIVE, front-and-center challenge to another candidate during a debate, and these moments always go badly so why don’t they cut it out? But a $10,000 bet really is a hilarious bet. I mean, $10,000? Like, a $100 bet seems like a bet between gentlemen. And a $1,000,000,000 bet seems like a sign of your conviction in your own position. But a $10,000 bet is not a thing, and therefore really does suggest that this is the amount of money that Mitt Romney thinks most things cost. It reminds me of a joke on the very short lived Will Arnett show Running Wilde in which he played a louche billionaire, when he handed his butler a $100 bill and asked him to go out and get a six-pack of Coke, and then asked if he’d given him enough money. Poor, Mitt Romney. Why can’t we just let him be great rich?! Watch the bet moment after the jump:

Of course, there is a whole other side to this story which NO ONE is covering, and that is the WHAT’S UP WITH THESE BOYS’ FACES angle. Boys! What’s up with your faces?!

Rick Perry is like, “am I right, LADIIIIIIIIIIES?!” And then he is all like:

“I have come to your planet and studied your robots. Now I am blend in you no know what it is.” Check Mitt Romney out:

“McDonalds has a saying: ‘I’m lovin’ it.’ And that’s how I feel about this debate.” Look at this piece of shit’s face!!!!

Guys! We know that you hate each other and are engaged in a long, grueling, and difficult political campaign. Why are you smiling like you just shit your pants and someone has asked you if you shit your pants and you are smiling like no way did I just shit my pants why would you even ask me that but somehow your smile makes it even more obvious what just happened?! Unless….Unless the answer is because you both just shit your pants! MYSTERY STATUS: Resolved.

Comments (47)
  1. Money fight!

  2. In Romney’s defense, he’s been making $10,000 bets with Michael Moore for years.

  3. Given that his odds are in the 1%, I don’t think that’s a good bet to be making.

  4. That is in such poor taste.

    • Never have I been so grateful that I was unable to formulate a good Trading Places joke*. I would have Donna Darko’d the shit out of you!

      *I think I was pretty close, though. It involved Dan Akroyd switching places with Eddie Murphy to determine what dictates success, with the results being inconclusive for the past 15 years.

  5. “There is only one way to settle this. We each charter a team to sail around the world. However completes the journey first will be the next President of Earth!” – The Future, I think

  6. Enough keepin us in suspense, can someone please tell me who WON the bet?

  7. You know what would actually be kind of great? Challenging these guys to $10,000 bets on some of the many ridiculous statements they make every day. You could retire on your winnings.

  8. I’m no PR expert but to get back in the good graces of the voters, I would recommend Romney lay down $10,000 (for charity) to see which GOP candidate can throw down a corn dog the fastest?

  9. Romney was actually going to go bigger, but he had to limit it to what he had in his wallet at the time. No one likes a guy who can’t cover his bets.

  10. I didn’t watch this. How did Tex Richman do?

  11. all this reading into it and blowing it out of proportion because its bad to be rich nowadays is a little sill. i’ve proposed and/or excepted hundreds of $10,000 bets with my brothers and close friends for decades, despite never having possessed anything close to that amount.

    what we should really be troubled by is that I don’t think Mormons are allowed to gamble?

  12. Speaking of wasteful spending on things that have absolutely no appeal to the public, do we really need to wait until Friday to discuss the Men In Black 3 trailer?

  13. In Mitt Romney’s defense, his parents named him Mitt. Clearly, strong decision-making skills do not run in his family.

  14. If Mitt Romney challenged me to a $10,000 bet I’d be all, “Screw that old man, I’m going ALL IN!” Then I’d put my $25.45 on the table and hope for the best.

  15. Wait, can we talk about the LUNAR MINING COLONY debate between Romney and Gingrinch because wowza these guys really GET IT.

  16. How much could a campaign cost? Ten dollars?

  17. It’s really weird to think that somewhere, out there, millions of my fellow citizens are watching these debates and honestly thinking, “Zing! Can’t wait to vote.”

    • You left out the scariest part of that sentence: “…for Newt Gingrich.” (Granted, Santorum, what’s-her-face, and Perry are MUCH scarier prospects but they’re not going to win the ticket. Newt could. *shudders*)

  18. Hey isn’t it against a Mormon rule to bet on anything? No drinking, no gambling?

    • Good point. He’s also the son of ILLEGAL immigrants. I don’t know why no one ever brings this up but his dad was born in Mexico on a polygamist Mormon compound. His great-grandparents didn’t like the whole Utah statehood rule that outlawed polygamy so they fled to Mexico. Sure they grew up speaking English and living a sort-of American existence, but they were living in Mexico and were now Mexicans. Then his father sneaked across the border and because he was white and spoke English they just ignored the whole born in a foreign country thing when he tried to run for president.

      • ahhhh i was just about to write a comment about that! they didn’t sneak across the border, per say. they left the country because of the mexican revolution. also, since george romney’s parents were both US citizens, he was technically a US citizen as well, even though he was born in the mormon colonies.

        • Whether or not George Romney fled, snuck or was granted asylum as the Mexican Revolution broke out he was still BORN in Mexico (this is debated). I think you’d have a hard case arguing against his Mexican roots considering the fact that his decedents fled the US. If you were to imagine him being brown, then I doubt this would have all been so easy.

          • … but my point is that he had US citizenship due to birthright anyway. look, i get what you’re trying to imply- obviously US policies impact different populations in a different way, especially when you’re talking about immigration issues circa 1914. but i also feel like this country is fucked up and racist enough without trying to play the “mitt romney is a secret mexican card” even if you’re playing it to highlight the fact that a probably significant percentage of the american electorate would be bothered by that. additionally, i personally find it weird to try to judge anyone based on the shit their grandparents did or where their grandparents lived- i mean, my grandfather is a fucked up misogynist racist who supports all sorts of ideas that i definitely don’t support, so i don’t think pointing out that romney’s great grandparents were polygamous does anything other than illustrate an interesting point in history. and yes, i do know that there are still factions of mormons that are polygamous and that it’s super fucked up, but romney’s family broke with that before he was born.

          • I actually don’t have an issue with Mormons and polygamy. Only when it involves underage women and unfortunately it most often does. But if people want to marry a bunch of people -what do I care?
            I’m not trying to annoy you or anyone else, and you’re right we shouldn’t be judged by what our grandparents or parents are like – we’re individuals. However, I only brought this up because he’s running for office and had no problem calling out Obama and questioning his Americanism and pointing fingers at other people. I’m just kind of shocked no one has brought this up, or it doesn’t get more attention, because the Republicans are so anti-immigration. Well unless they’re hiring an immigrant for their own personal use.

          • But the LDS still have ties to Mexico of a not-so-wholesome nature: http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL0705/S00311.htm.

            Mitt’s ties to that, as an LDS high priest, would be relevant to bring up…

  19. Listen, the bet was stupid, but Perry was just telling lies about Romney — lies that have been debunked by independent groups and pointed out to the Perry campaign numerous times. I think Romney just cracked a bit out of frustration.

    I think the real headline is how invasive, persistent and widespread misinformation is in US political campaigns. It’s deeply unfortunate. Even in the spotlight, candidates feel untouchable and perfectly safe to nakedly lie.

  20. Everybody remember learning about Andrew Carnegie and some of his peers way back in high school?? Remember this thing called ‘The Gospel of Wealth’?? Yeah? Well WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? Betting $10,000? Might as well put into a scholarship for underprivileged children or at least keep a library afloat after so many in my state closed down due to “budget shortages.”

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