commenter

This afternoon, Kelly and I had lunch to discuss the website, and the future, and achievable goals and things of that nature. It was good. I mean, it is always good to take a moment and reflect and put into words the half-formed thoughts and feelings and hopes you have for projects and ambitions and stuff. But also I just mean lunch was good. I had an oyster po’ boy and a bowl of butternut squash soup with beignets! Kelly had some mini pulled pork sliders, which is kind of redundant because sliders are supposed to be small. As far as I am concerned, they were full-sized pulled pork sliders. The order came with three but Kelly only ate one and a half of them? What is THAT all about? I suppose how much Kelly eats is her business and she might not like me putting her business out there like this, but it’s like, full-sized pork sliders are delicious, how do you not eat 100 of them in a row? I’m confused is all. ANYWAY, this seems as good of a time as any to turn the floor over to YOU to join us in the conversation. We’re drawing to a close on 2011. Is there anything YOU would like to talk about in regards to the site and the site’s operation? Thoughts are welcomed and encouraged. Please be constructive, though. If there’s something you’d like to see more or less of, let us know, but don’t just talk about how much you hate the site or whatever, because that’s a perfectly reasonable and understandable position to take, but there’s not a lot for us to DO about it. Besides recommend some other sites you might like better. Have you heard of the HuffingtonPost? You’re going to love it. But, so, guys? How’s our driveblogging?

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Viggo Mortensen’s Ridiculous Teen Heartthrob NYT Magazine Cover Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5  topknot | Dec 5th Score:72

They got mail.

Posted in: Anybody Have Theater Class Notes For Chet Haze’s Final Paper?
#4  Son of Gabe | Dec 7th Score:74

When I was younger I was very very very religous. I became this way after I read a description of hell somewhere and to this day that description is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever read. Upon reading this I decided to become a christian not because I believe in God, but because Iwas afraid of going to hell. I read the bible and obeyed every commandment written in it. One commandment that I specifically paid attention to was Leviticus 18:22 which states “Man shall not lay with man, it is abomination” I began to be very homophobic, used the word ‘fag’ as often as I could and even blamed some of my problems on gays. A few years later after some thought and a confusing dream involving Paul Newman circa 1958 and a hotel room in Venice I realized that I am gay. A few months later, I came out and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. What I’m saying is, if you ever need to talk Rick, I’m here for you.

Posted in: It Is Almost Crazy How Much Rick Perry Knows What He’s Talking About
#3  Ginger Ball Z | Dec 7th Score:79

Excellent wardrobe choice, Mr. Perry. Totally no homo.

Posted in: It Is Almost Crazy How Much Rick Perry Knows What He’s Talking About
#1  R2D2, Esq. | Dec 7th Score:93

What the fuck is he on about? Who’s fighting a war on religion? When did Obama make any rules at all regarding school prayer? The Supreme Court banned school-led prayer about a million years ago! And for fuck’s sake, you ARE allowed to pray in school!

There are so many actual problems in the world, and these fuckwits are making up phony ones to rile up my least favorite cousins on Facebook. A pox on your house, dickweed.

Posted in: It Is Almost Crazy How Much Rick Perry Knows What He’s Talking About

[Ed. Note: Good work on that Rick Perry thread, everyone. I hope people in his campaign read it. And convince him to drop out. Of everything. Hang it up, Perry. You stink!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1  gatheraroundtheoakentable | Dec 7th Score:-11

You guys remember that fucking “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” video from that gay chick looking dude guy? I feel like yelling “LEAVE MICHAEL ALONE!” but I’m neither gay nor a chick looking dude. I AM MAN! (lol)

Posted in: Michael Moore Hems And Haws His Way Towards Something Resembling Honesty

[Ed. Note: Oh good grief. I mean, the suggestion that we can move on from the Michael Moore stuff is pretty legitimate, but to then make completely unnecessary homophobic comments about Chris Crocker for no reason in 2011 is just the worst. You're the worst. What's wrong with you? Something is clearly wrong with you!]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, fondue cheddar. You earned it!]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

  Jeb | 1:33pm Score:4

I would have gone, but the lines for the bathroom would have been the worst.

Posted in: The Starbucks Weddings Is Pretty Cute, To Be Honest

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahah, BOOOOOOOOOO! Terrible joke! That was a great terrible Starbucks joke, Jeb. Very good bad job. I dislike love it a lot. But you bring up an interesting point: They had to use the bathroom at Starbucks for their wedding bathroom. Do you think they hired people to come in and clean it or do you think the Starbucks employees cleaned it? Do you think they put anything extra in it, like candles? There's a lot more to this story, that news report did a terrible job.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  R2D2, Esq. | Dec 6th Score:17

Never let it be said that a Detroit audience isn’t a polite audience.

Posted in: Man Whistling “Georgia On My Mind” On 1980s Detroit-Based Talk Show Completes Me/Us

[Ed. Note: Everything about the guy whistling "Georgia on my Mind" video is great and if you haven't watched it yet, you should really go watch it. It's also very true, and I am glad someone pointed it out, that the LIVE studio audience is almost impossibly polite. It was just a different time back then. It was certainly a more racist, sexist, and homophobic time, it always was when you're talking about the past, but it was also a more polite time, at least studio audience-wise. Then 9/11 happened and CHANGED. EVERYTHING. Take notes, modern studio audiences. Shut your fucking faces. Something amazing is about to happen.]

Comments (90)
  1. MORE SAND

    Come on, we all knew someone would say it.

  2. Today I had lunch by myself, because Gabe is Kelly, I had an oyster po boy, butternut squash soup and half an order of pulled pork sliders. I got weird looks but who cares bing bong.

  3. It’s Friday let’s dance

  4. Here are my suggestions for improving the site:

    1. Regular feature in which individuals or causes are brought up as suggestions for us to pray for in church.
    2. More Alison Brie gifs.
    3. More fan fiction along the lines of You Get to Make Up the Story or whatever it’s called.
    4. Less politics. Some of you “liberals” think you own the place.
    5. A new “from the vault” type of feature where you go back and review scene for scene older shows. Like say Twin Peaks, or the 80s G.I. Joe cartoons. The G.I. Joe cartoon movie with Nemesis Enforcer would be a good type of thing to review in this fashion.
    6. Bring back the Hunt for the Worst Movie.
    7. Pictures of Jessica Alba, Natalie Portman, Alison Brie, etc. Slideshows are also welcome.
    8. More posts that are more positive in nature, like “Hey guy here’s a fun thing to look at” rather than being mean to people like Charlize Theron, Hugh Jackman, etc. They are human beings.

  5. What happened to WMOAT? On a personal note, it’s the feature that originally brought me to Vgum. On an even more personal note, I can’t sleep a night knowing that “Life As We Know It” prances around the Hollywood Hills without fear of evisceration.

    Seriously, Gabe, if you are burnt out on movies, I’ll write this one on spec.

  6. I would like to thank Gabe and the Academy (you guys). I feel honored to receive such prominent placements in this week’s Ball, and will strive in the future to uphold the dignity of the Videogum community by commenting to the best of my ability.

    Now let’s all go out and get Christmas trees! Or Menorahs! Or Kwanzaa…things!

  7. I miss Birdie updates.

  8. Thanks for all the nice things you said about the KCC interview, guys!
    P.S. Happy birthday, Topknot!

  9. I’d like to thank a few people for this Caption win:

    -Lawblog. couldn’t have done it without him laying down the groundwork. I would say his comment was ¡Robbed! of its true glory. I share this with you lawblog.
    -LOTR. I don’t know much about LOTR.
    -Fruitopia with who I just signed an endorsement deal. Fruitiopia: Taste the Flavor. Flavor. Taste. Fruitopia.

    As Aerosmith said, I Don’t want [you to change] a thing [on this site]

  10. I’d like Kelly to review Gossip Girl. It seems like she wants to. I haven’t watched the show in years, but It just seems like something she talks about a lot so maybe she should have that as part of her job? But I know recaps are long and a pain in the ass, so maybe she just wants to talk about Gossip Girl? Could we have a Gossip Girl gossip corner run by Kelly? Unless she doesn’t want to do that either.

    • I disagree. Gossip Girl should not be reviewed. However that Leighton Meester (sp?) girl is attractive so I wouldnt object to some slideshows and photo galleries. There are other hot babes on that show as well correct? Can we get photos and such?

      • Steve, are you having trouble finding porn on the internet? Because it’s pretty easy to find actually. Take the “safe search” off of Google Images and go nuts.

    • Yesss! Gossip Girl corner would be the best if recaps are too much.

  11. I feel bad that I can’t comment as much anymore (and that apparently my Facebook has taken over my commenting abilities because I don’t notice until it’s too late…) but I mean, I love reading Videogum. I feel out of touch lately because my life’s been a wreck, and I miss taking part in Thursday Night TV comment threads because I can’t watch TV really until Sunday night. BOO.

    But, in general, I love you, VG! You, Kelly and Gabe, make me laugh a lot. As do you, commenters! I think the blog is doing just fine. I would only like if I had more time to participate. Stupid life!

  12. MORE SAND!

  13. Editor interview videos with bg celebs. Videogum live shows. Birdie dog food reviews.

  14. I really, really wish that I could be logged into Facebook and logged into Videogum (as Clambone) at the same time without one kicking the other out. I don’t want a bunch of dumb comments under my real name strung all over the internet, and it’s a pain to switch back and forth every time I want to make a comment, so I end up just not commenting. I appreciate the desire to grow the site, and I appreciate the swell giveaways, but that’s a big net negative.

    I really like the “Here are some links” thing every day. Good job, Kelly.

    I wish that there was a periodic Gabe and Max video of some sort, even when a third party isn’t supporting it.

    I miss the Worst Movies Of All Time.

    I can’t ever watch videos at work. The commentary usually speaks for itself and is pretty funny even if you haven’t watched the video, but when there’s just a video with little or no commentary, it doesn’t mean anything to me. Poor me.

    Great job, generally. Would read again.

    • kill your facebook account. mark zuckerberg has made enough money off you giving him all your private deets and private personal relationship info. he didnt earn it and he doesnt deserve it. his “innovation” is no better than friendster or myspace. he does not deserve zillionaire status.

    • This seems like a legitimate complaint if you really do want to grow the site. I don’t know why anyone would attach their facebook account to their videogum account given how many weird identity reveals it’s caused so far. I know I wouldn’t, if I had a facebook account, which I don’t, so I’m probably not your target demographic so… hmm. IGNORE ME! (Venture Bros. reference, I’d post a picture to make the stupid pop culture reference slightly funnier but the site won’t let me for some reason)

    • co-signed re: facebook. please note that I am commenting WITH my facebook account right now becasue WHATEVER, my head hurts and I’m tired. make my life easier please, videogum.

    • I don’t know, I’ve never had a problem being logged into both VG and FB at the same time and not crossposting.

      What I would like is an “edit” or “delete” comment option – at least for 5 minutes after posting (like on The Hairpin)

  15. Oh! I’d also like Gabe to recap episodes of True Blood that haven’t aired yet. Then pepper them with photos of Alcide. It’s cold here and I think that could get me through the winter. I might also just go on other Internet sites to find my own photos of Alcide and just post them around my house. But Gabe’s True Blood recaps are really funny and I forgot about season affective disorder until I realized *that’s* why I’ve been acting so strangely.

  16. Also:

    Start a new series where you do the hunt for the best movie of all time and start it with Gummo. Would love to see a scene for scene appreciation of this excellent film.

    Deadwood fan fiction would be nice.

    Animated gifs of Kat Dennings also appreciated.

  17. More Worst Movie reviews!

    More reviews of shows you think are terrible!

    More friendly chats with Gabe and Kelly!

    Everything else is absolutely 100% perfect.

  18. More Justin Bieber ads.

  19. Yay! One step closer to my EGOT! I probably wasn’t the first to make the Brokeback Mountain joke, but I was the first to post it on Videogum with photographic evidence.

    Sincere Mazel Tovs to Son of Gabe, who most succinctly and articulately wrote what we all felt and shared his heroic coming out story, and to R2D2, Esq. for summing up everything wrong with that awful ad and people of Mr. Perry’s ilk.

    A shout-out should also go to thisismynightmare. Her perfect animated-gif reply to my comment earned a close 6th place by my count, coming very close to making this week’s Ball a single comment thread sweep.

    For Videogum improvements, I think you guys continue to be the best pop-culture trampoline-accident site on the internet, delivering high-quality content day in and day out. Kelly is a great addition to the team and it’s exciting that the site is once again successful enough to hire more staff (never forget). The Petting Zoo is fast becoming my most-anticipated post of the week and the Friendly Chats are a fantastic replacement for Friday Fights.

    I miss soft Gabe’s Glee-caps. I cannot stomach the show and his posts always gave me good material for wife-baiting (she’s a Gleetard. love you, honey!) I would also like to see a return of TOFTT, but I know that type of thing can be cost-prohibitive and/or life-threatening. Sending Gabe to the Gathering of the Juggalos, for instance.

    All in all, I think you guys are crushing it. Much love.

  20. The next time you guys have to leave for a week and hire guest bloggers, I’d like to see the trolls take over. Monday could be Da Cake Eatur, Tuesday could be the webmaster of A’geMin’gle. com, Wednesday could be someone else… uh… help me out, people.

    Or there should be a day or two where the writers of Videogum have to cover music at Stereogum, and the writers of Stereogum have to write about trampoline accidents.

  21. I have no suggestions everything is great. I’m just here to suggest to anyone looking for a new good scotch to try Smokehead Islay Single Malt. I swear I have no personal affiliations, I just bought it today on a whim for myself, despite the kind of “a little too the-kids-today-would-like-this-typography” on the case.

    Anyways it blew my mind up. It’s really good. I been preaching the new Johnny Walker double black lately, but this is way better and way cheaper.

    • Johnny Walker FTW! Also Glenlivet. I’ll check it out.

      • Oh my lord, if you haven’t seen this, the ambient music is pretty hilarious.

        http://www.smokehead.com/

        • Not that the music is BAD (no disrespect to the artist/s) but it’s SCOTCH. I’m not taking a voyage into the inner echo-chambers of my psyche, I’m just trying to drink enough of something I enjoy drinking to kind of fuck myself up without going over the ever-shifting line which separates kinda-fucked-up from too-fucked-up. As, I’m pretty sure, has been the goal of every scotch drinker since the dawn of time. God, three posts in a row, and twice in one thread. I apologize. I am not this self-involved! Just very disorganized.

          • That music is creepy. They prolly just hired some young marketing firm intent on branding them to the younger generation which…well considering most scotch is totally up its own ass, is not a terrible strategy (the same strategy did wonders for quite a few vineyards.) At the very least it set itself apart from the other scotches on the shelf – I had never noticed it before, so mission accomplished – and ended up in my kitchen, and I’m glad it did because, branding aside, it is goddamn delicious.

          • You know what? I’ve had the music on in the background for the last half hour or so. I don’t know if it’s growing on me but if it is it’s in the same way barnacles do. I think I will find it difficult to turn off. Painful, even. I don’t think I’m meant to turn off the music. I feel we are… one? Yes, we are One.

            *expansive, repetitive echoing effect laid over the sound of a nervous spider playing the drums*

            The Bugs? Yes, the Bugs are our masters. And Smokehead… what? What does that have to do with anything?

            The Bugzzzzz.

    • A little late to this, but if you’re still checking replies on this thread (sidebar: can we add a thing that notifies you when you get a reply?), if you like a good smokey Scotch try Laphroag. Pricey, but it’s like drinking a glass of aged cedar smoke, AKA whiskey perfection.

      • yes. Yes. and YES.
        I LOVE Laphroaig! Well worth the extra few $ and it often goes on sale in NH.

        Also, thanks for the rec. djfreshie, I’ll be on the lookout for some Smokehead.

        • It passed the ‘spend all night drinking nothing but scotch’ test, administered at a friend’s house party Caturday. But do be advised, it is very young and thus, it’s quite nippy. If you like the Laphroaig 10yr, this will probably be pretty comparable.

    • On a similarly alcoholic beverage note, can anyone tell whether or not Kraken Rum is any good? My cephalopod fetish is compelling me into buying a bottle, but I don’t want to spend $40 on shitty rum. Heeeeelllllpp meeeee get tipsy, monsters!

  22. Oh and if you can find more videos of the whistling georgia on my mind guy, then that is my suggestion. This site would be better with more whistling. That guy only though. He’s beautiful. His voice is beautiful. He makes me want to be a better person.

  23. Parenthood recaps would be great. #latetothecommentgame

  24. Videogum underwrites a mini-season of Walking Dead to hold us over between the first half of the second season of Walking Dead and the second half of the second season of Walking Dead so that we can all read more Walking Dead recaps.

    This is totally in the budget, right?

  25. We need recaps of American Horror Story and we need them now. If there is any way to bring back T1FTT, that would also be great. Great!

    • YES. All I think of when I watch AHS is that it would make excellent Videogum fodder. I want to make “everyone is ghosts” jokes with fellow monsters.

  26. I would like more posts that use the Chattanooga tag.

  27. I’m pretty sure I speak for everyone; Videogum needs more erotic poetry.

  28. DOUBLE DOG. Nothing has made me laugh harder than Gabe’s Today Show challenge and Lindsay’s tour bus adventure (RIP Lindsay, never forget, etc.)

  29. Considering all these “suggestions” are nonsense joke comments (except Birdie updates), Videogum must be doing pretty well for itself since the last Reset Button.

  30. So I am going through a massive breakup right now, and feel pretty much miserable at least once on any given day. Ergo, I’m pretty grateful for any bit of levity I can get.

    I have to say that this blog helps me out a lot in that department. I’m not able to comment here much because of work, but I read most of the posts, and it really helps me, especially after work, in the stark aloneness of my new situation. I’m not saying it’s the only thing that’s getting me through it, but man, it really helps sometimes. So, yeah, I guess just more of that?

  31. Personally, I’d like to see a return to more Gabe related video. I understand that something like with Max on BWE there some sort of production value, but even the vlogs that were done long ago were great and added a face to a name. Also, Kelly! I don’t know your face, so this would be also great.

  32. Oh shit I just thought of a suggestion.

    Remember Disco Dog?

    Remember at the end of Disco Dog when he says “Stay tuned for more disco dog?”

    More.

  33. I’ve been really happy with the new features Videogum has been trying in the past few months.
    I love the the recaps of shows. We spoke and you delivered! I know they are a lot of work, so thanks, Gabe and Kelly!
    I was a little mixed about the Breaking Bad recaps. That show is universally adored, so weirdly recaps about it are not that fun to read, at least for me. I’m more fond of reading recaps of shows that are total guilty pleasures (Top Chef, True Blood) or shows that are flat out bad (Walking Dead, Entourage).
    I love the link round-ups, the animal video posts, and friendly chats with Gabe and Kelly!

  34. I think Gabe is an excellent writer. Smart, funny, etc. But, I feel like some of the more frivolous entries on this blog (i.e. You Can Make it Up) are a waste of his talents. Now, I love mirth and frivolity as much as the next guy and I usually just skip YCMIU, so it’s not like it gets in the way of my Videogum enjoyment. But, I feel like there is the potential here to be something better than another let’s make fun of celebrities snark blog. Also, so many posts a day. Do you guys have outside lives? Maybe trim some of the fat and focus on making the good stuff better. By good stuff I mean Alison Brie gifs, of course.

  35. For a while there A LOT of posts about robots, which is fine, I just didn’t read them, no big, but that seems to have tapered off. So if bringing back the robot posts are on the table, I vote no. Otherwise I’ll just skip them.

    (What always surprised me was that there were always a million comments like “Oh my god, that robot is making a salad!” or whatever, which made me suspect this was an inside joke I had missed. Which could be the case. Or it could be everyone loves robot videos but me).

  36. My favorite part of last year was when Gabe went to Comic Con. Can Gabe & Kelly go to more stuff? Horror conventions? Cat shows? Maybe movies in limited release? Maybe that doesn’t make sense, just sayin’ that would be cool. I like the little events that crop up once in a while.

  37. The Walking Dead recaps make me pee my pants a la Hugh Jackman (hope I’m getting that allusion right). That being said, as someone else said, you do recaps for bad shows (Walking Dead) but also good ones (Breaking Bad). Maybe add another good show to your recap stable? Justified if I may suggest? Third season starts in January and, in my humble opinion, it is the best show out there. Your Twitter avatar is Boyd! Please tell me you’re planning on doing recaps for it. Please. Please?

  38. I used to watch The Walking Dead with growing despair but then your recaps made it all worth it. I’ve stopped watching and just read those. They are the best – but have you seen American Horror Story? I just feel like that would be amazingly rife with hilarity for you to comment upon. I don’t know what that preceding sentence means – I would just really like you to put yourself through the torture of watching that show. It’s not that I’m mad at you – I just need you to make me laugh about that show to make the world seem like a better place.
    (also WMOAT needs to come back)

  39. I want to again mention the site logging out accounts after only a day or two, even when the “keep me logged in” box is checked. It might seem like not a big deal to have to log in, but I hate reading through a post, then most of a comment thread and getting to something I want to upvote or comment on, and then realize that I’m logged out. Sometimes reloading an entire page can take quite awhile, especially when there are .gifs, etc. This is the first time I’ve logged in in months, because I usually just see that I have to log in and don’t want to go to the trouble. I guess I’m lazy, but I’m sure I’m not the only one!

    On a similar note – I love the recaps of award shows, but I *hate* the slideshow format with tiny snippets of commentary for each picture, which require a full reload of the page every time you go to the next one. Couldn’t these pictures just be on one page that we’d have to scroll down? Wouldn’t that be easier for everyone? (Maybe it would just be easier for me?)

  40. The Hunt The Hunt The Hunt The Hunt.

    Also, The Hunt.

    Also, many things that many others have said that are good, if not great, e.g. show recaps (possibly add Dexter?), less videos as work time = Videogum time (though, as others have said, commentary is usually good enough), other things. BUT this site has already achieved an incredible level of awesome, so if nothing changed then you’d still have at least one fan. Right. Here.

  41. More Worst Movie of All Time!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sure you’re over it but it is so fun to read.

  42. i also love a lot of the new features – agree that ‘a friendly chat’ is a great new ‘friday fight’, appreciate the afternoon links, etc. One that i don’t love as much are the weekly movie trailer posts. i really liked it when once in a while one movie trailer was highlighted, because then i paid special attention to that one and more than once saw a movie JUST because its trailer was discussed here. but when it’s five trailers a week or whatever, that value is diminished, and i tend to just not read that feature at all, because i see plenty of trailers in theaters anyway and also i’d actually rather not see a trailer if i already know i’m interested in a movie because i like to be as surprised as possible – BUT then that means that if you’re ever highlighting a particularly exciting one, chances are i’ll probably miss out on that, which makes me sad. what a silly thing to complain about! more trampoline accidents please.

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