Let’s be honest, there is only one thing to talk about this week, and that is THE THREE STOOGES MOVIE. Oh, there are other trailers this week. You might even be interested in some of them. But they are not what we NEED to TALK ABOUT. So, let’s.

The Three Stooges

WOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOW! Where to even begin. How about with the fact that I think I LOVE it? Admittedly, I think it’s probably just some weird form of horrible movie Stockholm syndrome, but it is so aggressively bad on so many levels that I find it endearing and kind of funny and cannot even tell anymore what is what. There’s obviously all the slapsticky madness that feels so outdated there might as well be someone in blackface turning the Stooges’ lives around with some old country magic. But also their fake borscht belt accents? And the fact that who on Earth wants a new version of the Three Stooges anyways and also if they did want one would it really be THIS one? And everything about this trailer? Incredible. TWO STARS WAY UP!

The Five-Year Engagement

Can we talk about The Three Stooges movie some more? Like, do you know how hard it is to get a movie made? It costs so much money, and requires so many people signing off on that money, and people dedicating years of their life to the project, combined with the logistical and egotistical nightmares of the stars. And yet, here we are. Even after the original cast all dropped out (who knows why they would ever do that?!) they were able to get a whole new cast and FULL SPEED AHEAD. I mean, when you consider the odds, The Three Stooges movie is a minor MIRACLE.

The Cabin in the Woods

And, like, what is that scene with the nun in the swimsuit? What is the joke? That a nun would never wear that? I don’t get it. That she actually DID get a haircut and that’s what’s different about her? How often do nuns go swimming, anyway? Complete nonsense, and yet it made it into the trailer. “There’s more stuff like this in the movie, so get excited.” Unbelievable. That scene makes my head spin around in circles.

Lucky One

Somehow this looks worse than the Three Stooges movie.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Oh, OK, so this is just New Year’s Eve but about babies? Got it. Meanwhile, THE THREE STOOGES HOLY COW! STILL! FOREVER AND EVER!

Comments (25)
  1. Gabe’s such a wiseguy.

  2. Why is the Three Stooges tagline not “What the Nyuck?”

  3. Seriously, though, the strangest thing about the Three Stooges trailer is how downright 90s it looks. Like, I keep waiting for Chris Farley to run across the screen or thin Adam Sandler to stick his face in the camera.

  4. How come this week’s movie trailer post includes that straight to Netflix movie up top?

  5. If someone asked me last week what two things I would put in a movie to make it as (un)funny as I could imagine, I would say: Shot to the balls precipitating an operatic high note and Snookie getting eye gouged

  6. Okay so Cabin in the Woods looks like it will actually be really unique. The first part of the trailer made me think otherwise.

  7. Which of the Three Stooges will Sister Kate Upton fall in love with? Probably Mo, but I am rooting for Curly!

  8. Isn’t that everyone’s favorite spider bite victim from Lost in the What to Expect trailer?

  9. Can’t wait to see Brad Pitt or George Clooney make a cameo as Shemp.

    • Side note: this trailer is a mess. Curly Joe, you are no longer the worst part of the Three Stooges. Still behind the Scooby-Doo versions, but no longer the worst.

  10. I kept rewriting this comment. I just don’t know how terrible this makes me feel. Is that odd? What’s worse, is undoubtedly when I see this in a theater, and there is uproarious laughter during the trailer. Then I will sink in my seat and wonder why I spent 10 bucks to see Sherlock Holmes in the first place.

  11. Congrats on the Razzie “The Three Stooges!”

  12. Are we sure this isn’t porn?

  13. 1:50 mark shirtless Alcide.

    I guess I’m seeing this awful movie about babies, you guys.

  14. i’m really hoping that that’s fake explosions in the sky in The Lucky One trailer, because if not- barf.

  15. Am I the only one saddled with questions from the What To Expect movie? Why is Chris Rock in this? Why doesn’t he have any lines in the trailer? Why is his only line at the very end not a joke or wise-crack, but a comment about receipts? How can this possibly be based on a non-fiction pregnancy guide book? Is J-Lo doing this movie as PR to adopt a real-life African baby? Why is Cameron Diaz on Dancing With The Stars? Why is one subplot not about pregnancy at all, but Chace Crawford? None of this makes sense goddamnit!

    • Quite the smorgasbord of Difficult Questions here, but OK, I’ll take this one, gang!

      1. Nope
      2. For the “street cred”
      3. *genuinely stumped by this question*
      4. Um, it’s almost like you haven’t even seen the perfect 2009 film He’s Just Not That Into You based on the self-help nonfiction novel of the same name written by those Sex and the City people of zero importance and/or qualifications.
      5. Um, so, like, she already has two real babies, and those two babies are already twins, so I doubt it?
      6. NOT EVERYONE DANCING IN A SEQUINED DRESS IS FROM DANCING WITH THE STARS OK? BALLROOM DANCING EXISTS OTHER PLACES!!!!
      7. Because obviously Chace Crawford’s storyline is the one that will involve the token surprise pregnancy plot, like What to Expect When You’re Expecting – Subhead – First Trimester, HELLO?!!?

      So, to sum up: all of it, in fact, makes perfect sense if you have even a little bit of wheel-turning ability in the brain. ALL OF IT.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.