Did yesterday seem slightly colder to you? Did gravity felt a little harsher, placing an almost unbearable weight on not only your body, but also on your mind and, most significantly, your spirit? “What is this, what could be the cause?” you murmured to yourself, face against the bathroom floor tiles, the fluorescent light shimmering in the puddles of your own bile. Well, yesterday, Tuesday, December 6, Alec Baldwin was kicked off of his American Airlines flight out of LAX for refusing to discontinue playing the Scrabble-like game Words With Friends on his smartphone. YES, THAT ALEC BALDWIN! From The Hollywood Reporter:

On Tuesday, the actor took to Twitter to announce he’d gotten in trouble on an American Airlines flight while sitting at the gate at Los Angeles International Airport.

“Flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing WORDS W FRIENDS while we sat at the gate, not moving. #nowonderamericaairisbankrupt,” he tweeted, before following up with “But, oddly, 30 Rock plays inflight on American. #theresalwaysunited.”

#ihaveneverwantedtomurderanairplanemorethanidointhismoment. Can you even imagine. The incredibly famous Alec Baldwin, simply minding his own business and playing a game on his smartphone, harming no one, being very quiet, definitely not being a jerk to anyone who is only trying to do the awkward job of telling Alec Baldwin to please turn off his cell phone like everyone else, while his own television show is oddly (??????) still what the airline plays inflight, being unnecessarily REMOVED from that flight. I barely believe it. Kevin Smith being forcibly removed from a flight for being too fat, sure. Gerard Depardieu getting kicked off of a flight for peeing everywhere, of course. BUT THIS? If only there were another brand name person on that airplane who could give us a little more insight into what happe– OH WAIT, HOLD ON, STOP THE BLOGPRESSES! It looks like former COO of MTV, Michael J. Wolf was on the flight, too! And he ALSO TWEETS! THANK GOODNESS!

Again, from THR:

Michael J. Wolf was also on the flight, and tweeted that the actor had actually been kicked off of the plane, indicating he may have been at fault. “On an AA flight at LAX. Alec Baldwin removed from the plane We had to go back to the gate. Terrible that everyone had to wait,” Wolf wrote.

WHAT? An indication that he may have been at fault? I thought we were going to get to the bottom of this! If I wanted LIES, I would’ve asked AMERICAN AIRLIES THEMSELVES! Maybe some of the regular people on the flight can shed a little truth on the situation, from CBS:

Other passengers say he was actually talking on the phone, not just playing a game, reports CBS News coorespondant Betty Nguyen. A crew Member told NY Post he was removed because he became “violent, aggressive” toward staff.

Oh good grief. Well it looks like we’ll just have to stay tuned to the source—AHHHH WAIT WHAT?!

Well, it looks like since Alec Baldwin has at least temporarily deactivated his Twitter account, which seems like a bit of an overreaction I have to say, we can all at least temporarily deactivate our belief in any sort of news media presented to us. R.I.P. truth. Goodnight and good luck.

Comments (37)
  1. He was just frustrated because he was about to lose to werttrew again.

  2. “it’s not every day you get to beat Charlie Rose in WWF. I had ‘quizzical’ lined up as my next move and called to brag. Then this thoughtless little pig thought it fit to have me removed from the plane like some kind of farmer. A-B-C: Always Be Carfeul on AA.”

  3. Sounds like he was acting like a real kwyjibo.

  4. Alec BaldLOSE.

  5. How many Michael J. animals are there in Hollywood?

  6. the comments under the american airlines pr response to this on facebook is beyond amusing. https://www.facebook.com/aa/posts/10150397380436078

  7. he was such a jerk, he even knocked out a little girl’s IV drip as he was escorted off the plane.

  8. “What is this, what could be the cause?” you murmured to yourself, face against the bathroom floor tiles, the fluorescent light shimmering in the puddles of your own bile

    To be fair, I thought that was how we spent every Tuesday. No? Just me? Huh.

  9. “At least they still allow you on the plane in the first place”–Daniel, Stephen, and William Baldwin

  10. In a show of solidarity with Mr. Baldwin’s tragic plight, I will be playing Words with Friends all day, instead of cleaning the house. It’s what he would have wanted.

  11. Ugh. Why do people think they are above the rules? I was on a plane a couple of weeks ago, and this jag across the aisle from me kept his cell phone on the entire flight, just hiding it in his pocket and taking it out occasionally after checking to see if there were any flight attendants around.

    I experienced a disproportionate amount of righteous outrage, and only felt better after purposely bumping him with my bag when we were getting off the plane.

    • Why would he do that?!?!? Jesus Christ, that is some bullshit. Do you even get a signal at 30,000 feet?

    • Out of all the large spaces that humans have the pleasure of interacting with one another, the airport/airplane is probably my least favorite. It turns most people into narcissistic a-holes that think they are the only one being served. Combine this with the stresses of an $8 Auntie Anne, a TSA agent that wants to inspect your water, and the perception that everyone working from the airline is lying to you, and you have a recipe for an absolute tornado of fun.

      Is it too much to ask the airline industry to figure out a way to shoot passengers up with 10 cc of Inception Juice so they just wake up at their destination?

    • maybe he had it on airplane mode

    • HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! You were “outraged” because somebody was using a phone! HAAHAHAHHAHA!

  12. “How unbecoming of him.”

    -Gerard Depardeau

  13. I believe you mean “How unpeecoming of him”

    I make no apologies for this.

    • That was supposed to be in reply to facetaco. It looks like I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue.

      • It’s okay, the misfire is more than made up for by your improvement upon my joke. In my defense, my co-worker has been talking all morning about the Reel Big Fish concert he went to last night, so 90% of my mental focus has gone towards making Reel Big Fish jokes (e.g. I tried to get tickets, too, but they Sold Out).

  14. Qi did this happen :’(

  15. Really though, Mythbusters already proved that nothing bad happens to the plane’s navigation system due to cell phone usage, and they hadn’t taken off. They’re all riding high on ego trips about aviation security, when nothing’s actually being accomplished.

    But also Alec Baldwin should have put the phone away and tweeted angrily, later, from his mansion.

    • In the Airline’s defense. My dad is an FAA inspector. He fly’s coach and fines airlines for not following FAA regulations. It’s big money for the airline if they do something like break regulations in order to cater to a celebrity. Maybe someone in the back could have gotten away with leaving their phone on, but someone like Alec Baldwin would have drawn so much attention to himself and what he was doing that American Airlines could not just shrug it off after making a request for him to comply.

      It doesn’t make sense, and it’s a shame that there are so many rules that are imposed on us as a society, without any explanation for their real goal, but in a situation like this, the moment the airline asked Alec to turn off his phone and he stubbornly refused, there was only one possible outcome.

  16. “I was kicked off of Southwest for playing Food with Friends! Haw! Haw! Haw! I have a small dick!” -Kevin Smith, probably

  17. Soo, this isn’t really related, but a few months ago, I was on a flight, and the person next to me chose, apparently, to wait until everyone had boarded the plane, and then start paying his bills over the phone. I guess this was an ideal time to pay his bills? So I got to hear him argue with an automated system for 10 minutes, actually YELLING at the machine on the other end, hiding his phone every time a stewardess came by. After we took off, he then proceeded to pull out the bottle of red wine that he had purchased at the duty free shop, which was sealed in a bag stating that it should not be opened prior to reaching his destination. He then managed to get the bottle open, spilling red wine on both me and the girl on the other side of him. She and I bonded over shared giggles throughout the duration of the flight, as this gentleman proceeded to engage in such behavior as:

    -Showing her pictures of his house that he had on him for some reason.
    -Consuming the entire bottle of wine.
    -Leaving his seat for 2 hours, and, as far as we could tell, bathing in the sink in the bathroom.
    -Taking a breakfast kit from an unguarded food cart and putting it inside his carry-on bag

    So even though Words With Friends isn’t the WORST thing you can do on a flight…come on, dude, don’t be a dick.

  18. *unless your are a big-headed celebrity who thinks they are above the rules and want to play a stupid game and throw a temper-tantrum because you can’t

  19. And on the anniversary of Pearl Harbor, the movie starring Alec Baldwin where he actually played a pilot, he should have known better!

  20. Now that flying is out, he’s probably going to have to take the Banana Boat if he wants to go across the ocean.

  21. oh…this makes so much sense…no wonder the WWF game I was playing with someone name “baldWINNING” got left abruptly. And right before I was gonna play “polite”

  22. Finally a news story that ends with everyone losing except for the developers of Words with Friends. I can’t imagine another story that could achieve this same result.

  23. Cell phone usage is permitted while the plane is still at the gate. Phones have to be turned off so as not to interfere with aircraft instruments when the plane is moving and inflight. Donaghy says the plane was at the gate, not moving. Another point for the invisible laser shield.

  24. It’s shocking how little I care about this.

  25. There’s always Air France, Alec.

  26. I guess now we can only wait for Alec Baldwin to break his legendary twitter deactivation.

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