Photos
UHHHHHHH, HEYYYYYYYY, VIGGO MORTENSEN, WHAT’S UP? I didn’t realize Delia’s was doing catalogues for boys now. (Q: Does Delia’s even still exist? A: I’m an adult man.) This is the cover for this weekend’s Sunday New York Times fashion magazine, T. So, I will repeat the question: hey, Viggo Mortensen, WHAT’S UP? The dude is 53 years old. 53 YEARS OLD! So we’re not even just talking about the age-inappropriate outfit, which makes him look like he’s not sure if he’s going to make it to Jacob’s bar mitzvah this weekend because the new skate park opened two towns over and if he can convince his mom to drive him and Brad then the two of them are going to go shred. It’s also the FACE HE IS MAKING. He looks like he’s asking to borrow your lip balm as a pretext to fingerbang you under the bleachers. Hey, Viggo Mortensen, Jordan Catalano called and said he wants 1993 back. And finally, what is up with that sub-headline? “Hollywood’s grungy anti-hero”? How so? He’s handsome, and successful, and has certainly played some challenging roles, but was also just a straight up HERO in Lord of the Rings, and what does the word “grungy” even mean in the year 2011? I think it’s an adjective to describe squash blossoms at a fancy restaurant. Whatever. Caption it, or don’t, like, so over it and it’s your funeral sooooo. Dude.
(Click through to enlarge. Via Gynomite.)
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A Walk on the Swoon
Aragorgeous.
Cappaloosa
One does not simply razr into Mordor!
YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS PHYSICS!
My copy of Precious: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire on Blu Ray
I give you the flashlight app for your ipod. May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out.
Viggo More-teen-sen.
First Andy Serkis and now Viggo Mortensen, what is up with the cast of Lord of the Rings disappointing Gabe today
Stay beautiful Liv Tyler
She’s pretty.
Viggo the AARPathian
“Hey girl, with half of my face buried in my arm and the other half buried in photoshop, this is the best photo ever to cut out and pretend it’s your boyfriend. Go ahead and try it. If you cut the words ‘Viggo Mortensen’ out from beside my face, I will look like literally any generic white guy who has ever existed. Love, Viggo.”
Are you saying all white people look the same Superglue?
I am saying that all white dudes who look exactly like this all look the same, yes.
That’s a bold position to take.
The 90′s called and..um.. they said awesome job in Crimson Tide.
“You have my coldsore.” -Viggo to you, under the bleachers
“can viggo to third base?” – me
hey kelly, i’ve got my halloween costume all set for next year, how bout you?
When I walked around Williamsburg on Halloween this is what everyone was dressed as. I know it sounds like I’m making a wacky snarky BROOKLYN joke (like I did last week…) but, you guys, isn’t dressing like a lumberjack just kind cheating if that is how you ALWAYS dress?!
I know that, as a descendant of numinor, he was blessed with long life, but this is a little ridiculous.
Ahem. Numinor, as we all know and you’ve just temporarily forgotten, is a place. He is descended from Elros.
-PT Smith, currently reading The Silmarillion
::turns in nerd card::
Replying way too late because Australia, but I think the nerd reference lawblog was looking for was Earendil (although as Elros is the son of Earendil PT Smith is also technically correct)
also Numenor. I’m a real hit with the ladies and also the fellas.
I went with the eldest ancestor who lived on Numinor.
Also, seriously, my first time reading this and I so wish I had gotten into Lord of the Rings in middle school/high school instead of post-college (what?).
“i’m not some brooklyn hipster” – viggo mortensen, brooklyn shoulder
oh, god damnit. it looks like i got donna darko’ed.
whatever. i’ve been gettting donna darko’ed since before it was cool. or something.
Viggo Mortensen as Mike Nesmith in David Cronenberg’s upcoming remake of ‘Head’
The New York Times reaches out to its magazine to try and stay relevant with today’s youth.
30 Seconds to Middle Earth
“sit down and shut up.”
My friends, you pout to no one.
I’m a straight man and I would let Viggo Mortensen fingerbang me under the bleachers whenever he has the time.
For Frodo.
So, we’re just posting images of Viggo Mortensen showing his support for his favourite teams? I like this game.
But do I choose this one
or this one?
Boo les habitants, boo X un mille cinquante.
You’re what, a Leafs fan? My sympathies.
I’m a gay man and I will let him do anything he wants to me whenever he wants I don’t care what it is.It’s geting HOT in herrrrrrr.
Now instead of marrying Liv Tyler in LOTR he can screw Liv Tyler in Empire Records.
The vampire cough is really hip with the kids these days.
what is a vampire couch? twilight brand ikea?
A rare miss, Steven.
Return of the SCHWING!
remember that Outkast song Return of the Gangsta?
yeah.
Neat. Great story.
~Nickelback lyrics~
Lord, he’s pretty.
So, in conclusion, UH YEAH, I own the Sub Pop Singles Club Mudhoney Butterfly Stroke 7″.
Viggo Mortensen: King of The Onscreen 69 After All These Years
Wait, what? Where?
Viggo Mortensen: “Reality bites, brah.”
Viggo Mortensen researches his next role as a Mission District moped shop employee.
Practice Makes Perfect: Viggo Mertensen Shares His Tips For Making Out With the Crook of An Elbow As Practice For When You Actually Get To Make Out With Your Future Significant Other
somewhere in a grungy alternative universe… Curt Cobain & Shannon Hoon snicker copiously
did you mean to write KURT Cobain?
upvoted
Finally a bad boy answer to Justin Bieber. Team Viggo Forever!
OMFG, I managed a Delia*s (please note they use asterisks instead of apostrophes..UGH) for 2 years.
I’ve repressed that until just now. THANKS VIDEO GUM.
Perhaps you can answer this for me, Ms. former Delia*s manager…
Did Delia*s always have storefronts? Because when I was a budding adolescent girl, Delia*s was strictly online/catalogue only (or so I thought). Inquiring inner 13-year-olds want to know.
That botox is really working!
Viggo Mortensen – Narc School’s hot new kid.
Alright Viggo, for this next shot I want you to give me your best “teenage Paul Bunyan getting called out by the teacher to answer the question on the chalkboard after accidentally falling sleep on your desk again during geometry class.” But, you know, angsty. Got it? Okay. And…go.
Viggo Mortensen – Getting violently banged on the stairs has never looked so “last year”.
He doesn’t even look like Viggo in that picture. He looks like Paul Rudd in a wig.
Now that’s all I can see.
“Hey, Viggo Mortensen, Jordan Catalano called and said he wants 1993 back.”. Amazing.
i think this picture is viggo’s interpretation of jordan catalano reenacting the kid asleep and drooling on his desk at the beginning of ferris bueller. well played, viggolano.
I’ve been locked inside your Hidalgo-Shaped Box….for…weeks.
Viggo looks like Crispin Glover in River’s Edge.
A History of Loitering and Minor Vandalism
I know it’s probably homo to not make a joke in a VG comment, but it’s times like these that I realize I have a long way to go to actually write a great picture caption. Gabe, I laughed aloud at almost literally every phrase up there. Reminded me of something–
A few years ago I had open heart surgery, so they needed to my ribcage to perform it. A healing broken sternum is particularly awful in the cases of, but not limited to, 1) breathing, 2) coughing, 3) sneezing, 4) MMA, and 5) laughing. I learned very quickly about that last one, when I got home from the hospital and opened my computer for the first time in a few weeks. One of the first things I read was the WMOAT about Desperately Seeking Susan. You know the one, in the first paragraph of which Gabe gives a startlingly accurate description of modern Madonna being a Velociraptor made of Terminator parts covered in leather. Oh my ninjas I laughed so hard, it even startled me a bit, but then quite immediately I realized my mistake, as the pain Mack Truck’d me. Not to let a little agony spoil my fun (because Masculinity), I went on to laugh/scream my way through the entire article, and at the end of it, I took a recovery nap which lasted 3 days.
Hey! It’s tl;dr-ednesday!
hey you made a comment! no homo!
Viggo Mortensen: Psych! It’s a rendering of what River Phoenix would look like today!
Viggo Mortensen confirms that flannel tastes just like chicken.
Fart throb
Aw man, you guys, I just had the WEIRDEST dream…it was like the future, but I was in the past. And there were, like, elves and shit. And then at the end I was the king! Weird.
“I can’t feel my face. But YOU can…”
Viggo Mortensen in “Not Without My Computer’s Tennis Shoes: The Kurt Russel Story.”