New Yorker film critic David Denby has created quite the dull and unimportant controversy this week by publishing his review of David Fincher’s new movie, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, a full week before he was supposed to publishing it according to the embargo that he agreed to before attending a screeninzzzzzzzzzzzz. Fascinating stuff! The movie’s producer, Scott Rudin, is, in the words of the Dipset Crew, “mad.” Here was Denby’s defense of his actions (via Movieline):

The system is destructive: Grown-ups are ignored for much of the year, cast out like downsized workers, and then given eight good movies all at once in the last five weeks of the year. A magazine like The New Yorker has to cope as best as it can with a nutty release schedule. It was not my intention to break the embargo, and I never would have done it with a negative review.

[T]he early [NYFCC] vote forced the early screening of Dragon Tattoo. So we had a dilemma: What to put in the magazine on December 5? Certainly not We Bought the Zoo, or whatever it’s called. If we held everything serious, we would be coming out on Christmas-season movies until mid-January. We had to get something serious in the magazine. So reluctantly, we went early with Dragon, which I called “mesmerizing.” I apologize for the breach of the embargo. It won’t happen again. But this was a special case brought on by year-end madness.

We bought a ZING! To which Rudin responded:

I could not in good conscience invite you to see another movie of mine again, Daldry or otherwise. I can’t ignore this, and I expect that you wouldn’t either if the situation were reversed. I’m really not interested in why you did this except that you did — and you must at least own that, purely and simply, you broke your word to us and that that is a deeply lousy and immoral thing to have done. … You will now cause ALL of the other reviews to run a month before the release of the movie, and that is a deeply destructive thing to have done simply because you’re disdainful of We Bought a Zoo. Why am I meant to care about that???

KILL EACH OTHER! KILL EACH OTHER! That way we don’t have to take sides! Which is good. Because both sides seem pretty terribzzzzzzzz. Get it together, Gabe! I’m not entirely clear why anyone cares when somebody publishes a movie review. It’s all just marketing and noise anyway, and if a reader is going to take a negative review seriously enough to not go to the movie, then what does it matter when they read that negative review? The whole thing seems kind of beside the point to anyone who doesn’t actually work in Hollywood. That being said, Scott Rudin’s nightmare is coming true, because if the New Yorker gets to publish its review of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo this week, then so do we! Even if we haven’t actually seen it yet!

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo: A Movie Review

David Fincher’s new movie The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is pretty good, probably. Or maybe it’s so-so. That is the film’s greatest mystery, whether or not it is any good. Also there is the mystery that the movie is about, I think, which is a rape? Who raped it?! (Readers of Stieg Larsson’s best-selling thriller will be happy to learn that one mystery posed by the book has been roundly solved: those who wondered why every single woman who encountered the boring, middle-aged and coffee-scented reporter, Miguel Bloomphurst (sp?) wanted so bad to jump his bones all the time. SPOILER ALERT: because he looks like Daniel Craig, it turns out.) Speaking of SPOILER ALERTS, you can read the book and you’ll know EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THIS MOVIE! It’s crazy. There should be an embargo against that book so no one finds out until a week from now!

Daniel Craig is a gooooood actor! Did you see him in James Bonds? He was good! He’s good. But the real break-out star is Rooney Mara, it would seem, if one was to read what other reviews are saying. She captures your attention and doesn’t let go, I bet. There is this one part that happens and you’ll know it when you see it, but oh man, that part, right? Wow! People are going to be talking about that part for awhile because of the thing that happens and how Rooney Mara does her acting in it. And stuff.

Oh! The cinematography! Very nice. I’m sure. You know how David Fincher always uses kind of dark, moody, very stylistic cinematography? Well he does that again (probably), so if you like that you’re going to like this, and if you don’t like that, then you probably won’t like this, but maybe you will, you should give it another try, or don’t. It is totally up to you. You are your own person. In general, this seems like a movie that you will like more if you like David Fincher and less if you don’t like David Fincher, probably, and also the music is by Trent Reznor and there is a lot of snow in it and rape as I mentioned earlier. Very rapey. Three rapes up.

Check your local listings at some point for showtimes. I don’t actually remember when this movie comes out. Maybe I will see you at the theater. Since I not have seen it yet. A++ Would Do Reviews with Reviewer Again.

Comments (44)
  1. As per Gabe’s private request, I am not going to review this The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo review, and I would urge anybody else who feels the need to comment to please wait at least another week before commenting.

    • “I thought Gabe’s review was spot-on, or way off, depending on what the movie winds up like. I think that the review was right on time, if not a little late, because as my Christmas party schedule started to fill up, I had to make sure to choose way out in advance which movies I was going to go see between Christmas and mid-January. Either way, it definitely made me think about The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo as a movie that is definitely coming out sometime, I’m not exactly sure when.” – Superglue

      “I can’t believe you said that, you deplorable piece of shit. Get the hell out of here and I don’t ever want to see your stupid eagle ass in here (the internet) ever again.” – Scott Rudin

    • Since it’s time for me to go to bed now, and I know that if I wait until tomorrow to post my review of this The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo review it will be too far down in the comments section for anyone to care, I’ll just post my review now: mesmerizing.

  2. One guy told people he liked our movie so now everyone is going to be talking about the movie I am trying to promote? Unacceptable. (i really don’t get this)

  3. Failure to help further a corporate marketing strategy is “immoral” — that’s a legitimate LOL, right? Or am I going to Hell with the rapists?

  4. That picture of Gabe and Kelly is a lot different than what I imagined.

  5. Seriously though the only opinion this has left me with about ANY of this noise is that Scott Rudin is a seriously rude, obnoxious, needlessly angry asshole. Or at the VERY LEAST needs to work on his written communication skills so that he doesn’t come off as such a dick-turd.

  6. “Fuck Everyone” – Director of The Zoo Purchase

  7. I’ve identified the source of the leak.

  8. Is it just me or is Scott Rudin an idiot?

  9. I saw and hated the original foreign version of this movie. The ending was lame and boring. The whole thing was pretty boring actually.

    • How would you rate the books? Especially if you have not read them.

      I would like a Steve Winwood opinion on the novel version, so we can just finally draw a line in the sand and stop tearing each other apart.

    • Agreed. I think a lot of people gave it a pass because it was subtitled, and foreign films are always better than English-language films and don’t say otherwise or you’ll be banned from your local independent cinema or something.

    • I agree. Too rapey for my tastes. And I enjoyed Sukiyaki Western Django. I guess my complaint boils down to: if the dark sexual politics had anything new to say about dark sexual politics, I might be onboard. But the only reason for the story’s strange attitude towards women seemed to be to make the mystery sensational and cutting edge and it wasn’t even a very good mystery, partly because of the time spent on weird tangential-to-the-story sexual hijinks but also because it just wasn’t. A good mystery, I mean. If you’re going to try to say something about how men treat women or whatever and attach it to some kind of mystery, at the very least make the mystery a good one. You know? Don’t use sexual abuse as a crutch to make your mystery more mysterious and deep or whatever. Unless you have something to ACTUALLY say on the subject of sexual abuse.

      I’m not saying that Sukiyaki Western Django had anything profound to say about rape or sexual politics. But aside from the rape it was pretty fun. Come on. It was pretty fun, right? Aside from the rape? I’m a good person?

      • No it was not “pretty fun.” The whole movie was a like a long boring masterpiece mystery only with out the cool Edward Gorey animated bit at the beginning. You have a lot of moping around in the snow and then at the end – spoiler alert – the rich white dude was a secret closet nazi the whole time. That is so lame. There was never much of a “mystery” to it or anything, just dreary boring mopey tranquilizer of a movie. There’s nothing really “there” as far as story goes. I give this a “YAWN!” – Kristin Wig character who reviews movies

        • I said Sukiyaki Western Django was fun. I didn’t say it outright but I at least implied that the foreign version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo was a huge drag. I said that the mystery sucked. Is this some kind of Andy Kaufman type total misreading of the situation for the purposes of humour, or are you really drunk? Because I am really drunk and if you’re drunker than me… wow.

          But you cited Edward Gorey. For no reason, but still. I like Edward Gorey.

          Oh well. Good health to you and your kin!

        • The Swedish film sucked all the mystery out of the book, I trust Fincher to handle the material much, much better, especially since this is the guy who made Zodiac.

          • Zodiac was good. I like how they never really caught the killer and maybe he could be leaving random comments on some semi-obscure blog on the internets? And ending them with a question mark? For no reason? That was the good part.

        • God, you get upvotes just for being Steve Winwood even when you don’t make any fucking sense.

  10. Meanwhile, Stieg Larson is feeling indifferent in his grave.

  11. Gabe, it’s really insensitive to talk about critics and producers killing each other after what just happened with the infamous Brian Grazer/ Ty Burr feud. I thought Videogum was better than this.

  12. Reviewers get to see movies early??!?!

  13. “I loved the U.S. film’s adaptation and renaming of the Swedish film’s adaptation of the book ‘Men Who Hate Women’! I can’t wait for ‘The Girl Who Played with Fire’, which apparently they won’t have to rename for the U.S. release, and then ‘The Air Castle That was Blowed Up’, which is by far more of a fun title than ‘The Girl That Kicked the Hornet’s Nest.’ Also, it’s actually ‘…Blown Up’, not ‘…Blowed Up’, but whatever, right? I wanted to type BLOWED. The point is I hope the raping isn’t too graphic, nor is it like that movie Rosario Dawson was in where she got raped a lot then had a guy rape the guy that raped her a whole lot.” – K.X. & Chainsaws, Esq.

  14. I saw a trailer for this movie, and I feel that it showed me more than half of the final film – everything but the who-dun-it (is it a whodunnit? Based on the trailer, I have been led to believe it is).
    So if Scott Rudin is worried about spoilers, he should look a little closer to home.

  15. Gabe’s review is no less fictional than Armond White’s writing.

  16. I saw Skin I Live in this weekend. Kind of silly story but art direction was good and its very “Pedro Almodovar” esque. If you know what I mean. Worth seeing but kind of a goofy plot.

    Also finally rented that new Captain America. I was surprised I enjoyed it as much as I did. Between that and the Zack Snyder Watchmen movie I have to say they are making good hollywood super hero movies these days. Those awful “serious” Batman movies are obviously the exception to this trend.

    • I loved the first two-thirds or so of Captain America but as soon as it went into the big fightastic climactosaur, I fell asleep. For reals. And I’m not a girl. That’s been my reaction to most of the climaxes of Marvel’s recent movies, Thor being the exception. So why do I keep watching? Well, thank you for bringing that question to my attention. I won’t.

      I lie. I’ll watch Joss Whedon’s Avengers but after that, we are DONE, MARVEL MOVIES!

      Except for ones with Magneto. I can’t quit you, Magneto.

  17. I don’t know- speaking as a publicist, a writer breaking an embargo is a big deal. You give them stuff early and they agree not to publish before a certain date. That’s the business contract. I’d be HUGELY pissed if a journalist broke an embargo we agreed to. And as a former film publicist, a lot of effort and coordination goes into the release of a film. You want a big blitz when the movie opens. If all the PR happens a month beforehand, it can really affect the buzz about the film once it’s finally in theaters.

    • What I do find odd is why is Scott Rudin the one responding to this (and in such an inarticulate and douchey way)? I’d never let that happen on my watch.

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