OK, so, yesterday I wrote a fan fiction about Charlize Theron getting bullied in school and people in the comments were not happy about it! Apparently, according to them, I was being an asshole to Charlize Theron. Whoops? Now, I will say that it was pointed out to me that Charlize Theron had a very troubled childhood including a violent, alcoholic father, and a particularly gruesome event involving her mother and her father and a gun and her father dying. Yikes! That sounds awful! Admittedly, I did not know these things about her past, and if I had maybe the world would be a different place, in terms of what kind of Charlize Theron fan fiction existed in it. Although, let’s also please remember that it is FAN FICTION, which is to say, IT IS NONSENSE. You could have switched out the name Charlize Theron with any of the other dozens of celebrities who have talked about their ugly duckling childhoods and the point would have been the same: I find these anecdotes uncompelling and disingenuous. (It is also worth pointing out that Charlize Theron was not, contrary to some of the commenters complaints, talking about her genuinely troubled youth, but was just saying she wore awkward glasses for a couple of years, which if her childhood was as horrible as it seems, bad eyewear was literally the least of her problems.) The point is, I am sorry if I offended any Charlize Theron fans out there. That wasn’t the point. Although to the people who said that they thought Videogum was “better than that,” I would like to ask, better than what? A stupid, tongue-in-cheek short story about a celebrity who is beautiful being told she is beautiful? Sorry. We are not better than that. It doesn’t get better. On that note: HAVE A NICE WEEKEND!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Bill Murray And The Obamas At A College Basketball Game Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Jeb | Nov 30th Score:60


Posted in: Uh, What’s Up With France?
#4 Jeb | Nov 28th Score:63

You see white people making mac and cheese and they’re all like *oh, hello, honey, I’m making mac and cheese*, and then you see black people making mac and cheese and they’re all like BAM, BAM, BAM, I’m makin’ mac n cheese, woman!

Posted in: Is Mac And Cheese A Black Thing?
#3 The Aura of the H-Man | Nov 28th Score:65

It could be, I guess, but that’s typically a sign that you’ve left it on the stove WAY too long.

Posted in: Is Mac And Cheese A Black Thing?
#2 bisquetaker | Nov 28th Score:76

If mac and cheese is a black thing then I’m Miles Davis.

Posted in: Is Mac And Cheese A Black Thing?
#1 huckabeast | Nov 29th Score:78

Everybody was curious about what he said, but he just leaned in close and whispered into their ears as the music swelled and it remained a mystery forever.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Bill Murray And The Obamas At A College Basketball Game

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Congratulations, huckabeast! Both the caption contest AND the highest rated post. A+ work. I can't even believe anyone said anything else in the caption contest when that was clearly the correct answer. Great job in the mac and cheese thread to the rest of you, and Jeb, I hope you're excited about your double-win. I'm proud of all of you. I hope you have very nice weekends.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 ElectricKoala | Nov 30th Score:-8
Considering they can rarely be funny for a full 15 minutes I think I’ll wait to get excited for this one
Posted in: The Tim And Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie Teaser Trailer, You Guys

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Well, that's what you get for saying something negative about something that people like. WELCOME TO ONLINE, ELECTRICKOALA! Here are your eight downvotes.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

huckabeast | Nov 29th Score:78

Everybody was curious about what he said, but he just leaned in close and whispered into their ears as the music swelled and it remained a mystery forever.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Bill Murray And The Obamas At A College Basketball Game

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, huckabeast. You earned it!]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

solid | Nov 28th Score:13

I will have this stuck in my head all day! Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiioooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwooowww


eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (gasp) eeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooowwwwwwwwww…

Posted in: It Is Officially The Holiday Season!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahahaha. That was a very accurate onomatopoeia for the sound that man was making in the video. Great job! Spelling out the sound something is making is a thing that I think is very funny. I DON'T CARE IF YOU AGREE! Also, it's worth noting that this was solid's first comment ever on Videogum. Great job, solid!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

old man fatima | Nov 29th Score:11

What did Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Mani-pesto!

Posted in: Domino’s Pizza iPad App Looks Fun, Delicious, And Insulting

[Ed. Note: I am not sure if this is one of the best comments of all time or the worst comments of all time, but it's clearly very important. Always a conversation-starter, Zizek_69!]

Comments (56)
  1. FIRST!!! UNO!

  2. It’s Friday, I think this is considered dancing

  3. Good week, everyone! High fives all around. Let’s all eat, drink, and be merry, only without the dying tomorrow part. Sound good? Sounds good!

  4. just in case anyone needs something to do…

  5. The Monsters’ Ball has been posted. I can finally grab some sleep before going to work. (Some of us work nights to put grad school on our families.) Congrats you Monsters.

  6. Bookgum Reminder: December’s book is the Single Girls’ Guide to Meeting European Men.

  7. here are some updates:
    thought that george clooney hawaii movie the descendants was pretty good.
    thought the new muppets movie was pretty good. admittedly I had zero expectations.
    that new twilight movie had a lot of unintentional and hilarious LOLs that make it definitely worth seeing.
    probably going to finally see the skin I live in. I pretty much like all the pedor almodovar type movies.

    that’s all that’s new with me.

    what are all yall doing this weekend?

    • You see a lot of movies Steve!

      • This kind of surprise me too, I would have thought Steve would be annoyed by the other people at the theater, but If I have learned one thing from my year reading Videogum is that Steve has a very complex, well-rounded character.

      • A lot of crappy movies. But you’re interested in Pedro Aldowhatsisface. I’ve never gotten into that guy’s work. I know I’ve seen at least one of his movies but it must have been the wrong one because somehow I still don’t think he’s great. Anyone have a suggestion for a starting point? There must be a reason for the hype and I’d like to figure it out.

        This weekend I will be working. Enjoy your Hugh Hefner-esque lifestyle, you bastards who aren’t.

    • Chicago!

  8. Maybe I’ll see you Chicago based Monsters this weekend! Maybe I won’t know it’s you, ’cause I don’t know what you look like!?!

  9. I’ve been really busy at work lately so I haven’t been able to read the posts/threads during the day like a normal person, but I was reading one of the threads the other night and I ran into a little number by a commentator named “death of speedy”. I got curious about his/her avatar, so I googled it and learned that “Love & Rockets is a critically-acclaimed comic book, but more importantly, “death of speedy” is my new favorite commenter. He or she has been leaving images of actors dressed in absurd female costumes on videogum sporadically over the past few months. The awesome part of this is that when you google image “death of speedy” the 4th page is this:

    Genius. DoS, I don’t know how you did it, but I salute you.

  10. Ya know, a few weeks ago I would have been really jacked about taking third place in the ball. But now that I’ve won one, meh.

    j/k. It’s an honor to be recognized.

  11. I earned it! WE earned it!

  12. OOhh! And I’m a newbie, too! But what is this “Zizek_69″ business?

  13. I’m pretty sure my friends and family are staging a Herman Cain intervention for me in which they all gather around my living room and tearfully read hand-written notes about how my obsession with this man has ruined my relationships with all of them. I really hope they do this after the press conference tomorrow.

    That being said, his “Women For Herman Cain” page is amazing. And the best part is that it had this stock image of generic women being super excited about him… but it was already used in a sugar ad in South Africa. So now instead of this…

    you see just Women CAIN

    (And, again, I apologize to my Internet friends for my obsession taking over my cyberlife.)

  14. Poppin’ Lockin’ Droppin’ like it’s Hottin’

    Have a good weekend y’all!

  15. Ludacristhrowinbows.gif

  16. Ha HA! All you obsessive commenters, bragging about your EGOTs and what-not, how many of you have been called out by Gabe anonymously in the Monster’s Ball?? Not many, I’d guess!!

    Wertrew, take a memo: on the “called out anonymously by Gabe” leader board, Grrg is NUMBER ONE.

    LOL, LOL, LOL.

  17. I’d just like to clarify that I find a lot of Tim & Eric to be TBS very funny, but for every funny sketch there is a tedious bit that is just weird without substance. This will probably just upset Tim & Eric fans even more.

  18. I will have a nice weekend and thank you for the well wishes. But what do you mean by nice? Like, less than great? Why can’t I have a great weekend? What’s with this “nice” bullshit? I will have a GREAT weekend just to spite you. Are you one of those people who go around telling people to have a “nice” (whatever THAT means) day, instead of just head-butting them and showing them what the TRUE DAWN of the INNER MIND looks like? Don’t tell me you’re one of “those” people. I thought Videogum was better than that.

    Fine. I will have a “nice” weekend. I hope you have a “nice” weekend too.

  19. I really like this website.

  20. So now everyone is waiting for Gabe’s “You can make it up” about these kids, right?

  21. I totally did not realize how many Charlize Theron SUPERFANS there are.

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