Recently, I was hanging out a a friend’s house when someone mentioned Jeff Goldblum, so I launched into my best “Jeff Goldblum Drunk” impression, based on the totally inspired video meme. And everyone just stared at me! Nobody had seen it! So we spent the next half hour gathered ’round the laptop, clutching our sides and wiping tears as we watched the entire Jeff Goldblum Drunk ouevre on YouTube. Twice. (So this list is clearly needed out there!) The first video in the “Drunk Jeff Goldblum” viral video meme actually reared its awesome head in ’07, but ’08 was truly the year of slowed-down and speeded-up video techniques (See Fred.) And no video thing gave me more pleasure in 2008 than Jeff Goldblum Drunk. After the jump, the top 8 videos (all either 1999 Mac ads or Conan visits, but all totally worth watching.) I just hope Jeff Goldblum loves this joke as much as the rest of us do.

(If you’re unfamiliar with this particular awesomeness, definitely start with #1 and move up.)

8. “There is no step 3!” Worth it for the laugh at the end:

7. Drunk Jeff Goldblum loves pizza:

6. Drunk Jeff Goldblum demonstrates The Heimlich Maneuver to Conan:

5. iMovie: “You can make it real fast — ooooohhhhhhhhh”:

4. Emails: “Hey everybody, I’llllssst email you!”

3. Drunk Jeff Goldblum hates the color beige. “Have they been in thinking jail?”:

2. Jeff Goldblum loves “peach piiie.”:

1. The one that started it all: “Great Stuff!”

Nothing can beat Jeff’s particular cadence and personality for slowed-down celeb videos, but I’d like to see them do “Drunk John Hodgman And Justin Long” Mac ads. Here’s kids on a plane doing an impression of Great Stuff. And there’s at least one other Jeff Goldblum Drunk video out there, but it’s loonng: Jeff Goldblum’s Best Story.

Comments (14)
  1. Chadams  |   Posted on Dec 18th, 2008 +3

    Goldblum told a story on Conan last night about how he lost his virginity one night while doing Shakespeare in the Park. In true Goldblum fashion (sudden widening of his bug eyes, slight gasp, ample hand movement), he tangentially interjected how it was also the same night he first tried brie cheese.

  2. I’m not sure I feel comfortable with the way Apple takes advantage of a drunken Goldblum. Then again, it’s also very funny. I watched it “again and again and again and again!”

  3. drunk jeff goldblum sounds a lot like sober bill cosby.

  4. Enjoying drunk Jeff Goldblum in 3 easy steps:

    Step one: Find some video of Jeff Goldblum.

    Step two: Slow it down.

    Step three: There is no step three… there is no step three!

  5. jb  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2008 -1

    not that funny.

  6. Ashley  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2008 0

    I thought I couldn’t love Jeff Goldblum any more than I already do… turns out it just takes a bit of slow-motion and some 10-year-old commercials.

  7. noahsam  |   Posted on Dec 19th, 2008 +1

    … and that tragically lethargic clarinet in the background… it sounds like an audio track from a Christian Children’s Fund ad…

    Suzanne Somers: “Please, these drunken Jeff Goldblums need our help… call now.”

  8. Craig Ferguson does drunk George Bush this way. It works really well and the quality is great.

  9. That sounds more like stoned Jeff Goldblum than drunk to me. Especially ‘there’s no step three!’

  10. meiliken  |   Posted on Jan 9th, 2009 -16

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  11. Angelica  |   Posted on Feb 26th, 2009 -3

    I agree meiliken,,,have never heard so much rubbish…….Drunk! My ass – it’s just slowed down, engineered kack!!!

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