tightrope

After the jump is the trailer for a documentary called I Believe I Can Fly, which is about a gang of French daredevils who love setting up tightropes between mountains and skyscrapers and then just straight up GOOFING on those tightropes. Like, they’re not even tightrope walkers, based on how many times they fall off the tightrope in the trailer alone (roughly a kajillion times). They’re just having fun! You know what fun is, right? When you are falling all over a tiny thread of rope up in the middle of the sky and all you have to save you from dying is this other thread of rope tied around your waist like a sassy belt? FUN! Obviously, this documentary (which, let’s be honest, might not actually be a documentary. It might just be a Kickstarter about a documentary that still needs 5,000 rope donations) finds itself following what is clearly a French tradition what with that other documentary about tightrope walking fucking lunatics, Man on Wire. (I know it’s 200 years later, but can we talk for a second about how when the dude from that movie got out of jail after being arrested for tightrope walking between the world trade center towers 9/11 never forget that the first thing he did was fuck literally the very first woman he saw and how that is kind of some baller shit but also kind of horrible to his LONGTIME GIRLFRIEND and how the movie brushed past that really quickly when uh that should have been the whole movie because that’s way more interesting then some nerd with a broomstick.) But between Man on Wire and now this and also the invention of Parkour, is it just me, or is SOMETHING UP WITH FRANCE?

France! You guys OK? What’s up? Why are you all so determined to get killed doing something ridiculous? Drink a wine! Shove some oats down a goose’s throat! String the queen up her own petard! LE RELAX!

Comments (43)
  1. L’OL

  2. this list is missing: why do french people like tight ropes so much?

  3. L’EEEEEEEEK!

  4. I’ve actually been wondering why France still gets to be a country. I mean when you lose every war you fight for two centuries, you’re supposed to lose your territory. Non?

  5. Man on Wire discussion: Wasn’t that kind of the conclusion of the film? That all of the people that helped him pull of the stunt (his best friend, his girlfriend) no longer keep in contact with him because he’s kind of a dick and the whole thing went to his head? At the end I they were like yeah he kinda sucked but I mean he walked across the Twin Towers and it was très beautiful so props where props are due.

    • I find it hard to believe that a virtually suicidal daredevil lacking normal fear mechanisms would have difficulty with interpersonal relationships.

    • Yeah he went and screwed some girl in a hotel while his girlfriend who gave up her life for him was waiting somewhere twiddling her thumbs. So very French! They are truly the people of Marx and CocaCola!

    • kinda yeah, but although yeah, he was kind of a dick, but i think the overall conclusion was that people can come together to achieve something beautiful, and shared moments of beauty are really the only thing that hold us together.

      • On the tangent of shared moments of beauty, did anyone find his act of tightroping across the two towers…actually beautiful? I dunno, it definitely toes the line between spectacle and stupidity for me. What if the guy fell? Would it still be an amazing piece of performance art? In my mind, I always compare him to Timothy Treadwell from Grizzly Bear in the sense that one is a hero and the other a loony failure based on the results of their tempting of fate. I mean yes, hanging with grizzly bears and tight rope walking from skyscrapers are very different, but also, are they that different??

    • I was definitely not a Man on Edge of Seat watching that movie.

  6. i can feel the fear in my balls just watching the trailer. i’ve got a pretty iron-clad stomach, but i can ad this movie to things that will make me vomit.

    1. bananas
    2. this

  7. “This movie sacre-blew!” – A Very Clever and Thoughtful Film Critic

  8. I fucking hate people who do shit like this. No, idiot, you’re not looking death in the eye and you’re not invincible. You’re a stupid, tiny little human in a world that’s literally overflowing with stupid tiny humans just like you. If your little bungee rope breaks and you fall fifteen million feet or whatever, you’re going to die just like the guy who thinks taking a risk is trying a different brand of coffee would die. Your bones would smash into a thousand pieces and it would be your fault, because you’re an immature moron who thinks you’ll live forever. It doesn’t make you brave and it doesn’t make you more of a man. You know what makes you more of a man? Having the good sense and ample awareness and comfort in your own mortality NOT to try to dance across a fucking canyon. Guess what? You can’t fly. I don’t wish anyone harm but if I did ever wish anyone harm, it might be one of these guys.

    • I always thought I would love to go hangliding, but the one time I was actually at a place where they were doing it, (strapping in to one and then skiing off a cliff) and I had a chance to do it, I was like fuck no. It might be fun, but also a very stupid way to die. I think it’s spiritually important not to be embarrased when you die. Your last thought shouldn’t be: “Well, THAT was stupid.”

    • You’re so right. These fucking assholes should get indoors and start commenting obsessively on Videogum to start REALLY knowing what it’s like to LIVE!

      • Duke Nukem is my hero

      • Right. Constant thrill-seeking is the very definition of living life to the fullest.

      • Sorry that one, but a million upvotes to this. while i dont necessarily agree that constant thrill seeking is a particularly wise way to approach life, I also don’t have the stones to say that theyre wrong (much less deplorable) in doing so. its unequivacly true that they are human and that their lives are probably just as meaningless ours, but whats wrong with the seeking something that makes them feel larger than their physical confines?

        also, i think id shit my pants if i walked on a tight rope.

  9. Oh good. I was wondering what was going to trigger today’s anxiety attack.

    • The NYTimes iPhone app Breaking News notifications are not definitely something you’d want to enable if you are prone to anxiety attacks. ding-dong “IRANIAN LEADERS PLACE 1,000-YEAR CURSE ON ALL PRESENT AND FUTURE AMERICANS VIA TWITTER”

      • Yeah, I actually disabled that stuff awhile ago, mostly because some apps would wake me up in the middle of the night no matter how many times I adjusted their settings.

  10. Have y’all seen this guy from California who climbs with NOTHING attached to him? No rope, no net, no nothing–just him and his sweaty palms and 1600 foot rockfaces???

    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/10/02/60minutes/main20114487.shtml

  11. Just curious, has Steve-O been awarded the Legion d’Honneur yet? Probably, right?

  12. I wish the stupid French people would stop talking so I could hear the Rural Alberta Advantage playing in the background.

  13. I’m I the only here with enough rock climbing knowledge to tell you that this is a slack line and not a tight rope. Tight ropes are much… well tighter.

  14. I enjoyed the “the line is tight as a g-string” bit but, I still- no. Going to go hug the ground now.

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