Wait a second, did we fall into a wormhole? Sorry, guys. I think we fell into a wormhole. Hopefully Rufus (R.I.P.) will be here soon with the telephone booth to take us back to, I don’t know, what, a combination of 1996 and 2003? You were right, Facebook, it IS complicated. Like, how is it 2011 and Maury Povich is still doing paternity tests? A movie SPOOFING that five years ago would have felt old and lazy. But even more importantly, WHO IS ON MYSPACE?! Admittedly, the baby is at least 9 months old, although he’s probably 10 months old, since you’re not supposed to put television makeup on a baby in the first month, but 10 months ago was still FIVE YEARS AFTER MYSPACE. I do kind of wish that the dude would come out from backstage after Maury was finished ridiculing him with his weird, satisfied “this lipgloss tastes like racism” grin and explain that Occam’s Razor suggests that Tom is the father of his girlfriend’s baby. “OCCAM’S RAZOR, MAURY!” (Via VV.com.)

Comments (21)
  1. Actually, if you haven’t been to MySpace lately, it’s worth checking out. Five years ago, if you browsed random users, approximately 80% of them were teenagers taking inappropriate pictures of themselves. Now, if you browse random users, 80% of the results will be very young mothers. It’s like a goldmine for Maury producers.

  2. Joke’s on you, Gabe. After the taping, Tom called in on his StarTAC phone to say he was the father. He hung up quickly however, because he was concerned about roaming charges.

  3. Maury’s face through this entire thing is gold. I like to think about him waking up in the morning and getting ready for work. “Welp, just another day at the office.” I wonder what his retirement party will be like.

  4. Hey, guys, remember when Rupert Murdoch bought Myspace for $580 million? How did that ever turn out for him? Did he win the award for Best Business Decision, or was he only nominated?

  5. The first thing I ever did during my 12 month journey on myspace was actually defriend Tom the second I signed up.

  6. “MAURY, MAURY! I BEEN CHECKIN’ HER MYSPACE TO SEE IF SHE BEEN TALKIN’ TO OTHER DUDES, AND THE ONLY MAN SHE GOT ON THERE IS TOM, SO HE GOTTA BE THE FATHER!”- That guy

  7. So Tom ISN’T the father? I guess they never made it MySpace Official.

  8. Myspace is definitely still a thing still. I used to work in a public library’s children section and when kids used the library computers, there were many that would frequent Myspace. There was a very obvious socio-economic divide between Facebook and Myspace users. Also, the more you enjoy blingees, the more likely you are to have a Myspace page.

  9. “Hahaha, SUCKERS!”

  10. Alex Vermitsky  |   Posted on Nov 23rd, 2011 +2

    More like NOTmyrace.com! amiright! sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

  11. anyone else still have an ironic myspace page?
    just like my ironic aol instant messenger account.

  12. I’m sure those two will continue to have a long, happy, and most importantly, healthy relationship

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.