Duh Aficionado magazine got SCOOPED this morning, by an article in the LA Times headlined Gender inequality still has a starring role in Hollywood, USC study finds. Oh man, OF COURSE IT DOES! We should have been all over this one, and we apologize to our (male) readers for dropping the ball. Here are the most important and most obvious findings:

The USC study determined that women were still far more likely than men to wear sexy clothing in movies, such as swimwear and unbuttoned shirts (25.8% versus 4.7%), to expose skin (23% versus 7.4%) and to be described by another character as attractive (10.9% versus 2.5%).

Revealing clothing and partial nudity was just as prevalent among 13- to 20-year-old female characters as it was among those 21 to 29, suggesting that females are sexualized on-screen at young ages, Smith said.

Behind the camera, the gender inequality is just as dramatic: only 3.6% of the directors and 13.5% of the writers on the top-grossing films of 2009 were female, according to the study.

Yup. That sounds about right. Although I’m surprised this article/study didn’t at least point out the counter-argument, which is didn’t you ladies get Bridesmaids this year? How many movies do you NEED?! LOLOLOL. JK, ladies. You’re beautiful. Do you have a sister? In an effort to remind the Duh Industry that Duh Aficionado is still the premiere resource for breaking the obvious stories, we are going to issue our own scientific research in the following days covering other Hollywood trends that may or may not be based in actual reality*. Here is a short list:

Hollywood believes:

  • Cellphones are useless.
  • Children are smart.
  • Gay people are either sassy or miserable.
  • Aliens need our energy.
  • Mild racism is still OK if it’s aimed at Hispanics and Asians.
  • New York City is just waiting for someone from the outside to bust it wide open.
  • Serial Killers love costumes.
  • The President has a book of secrets.
  • Gremlins can’t eat after midnight.
  • People like anything with gladiators in it.
  • Magazine editors are glamorous and important.
  • When a cop doesn’t play by the rules it’s a good thing.
  • Ryan Reynolds is compelling.
  • Diarrhea is always hilarious.
  • Everything should be rebooted.
  • A million dollars is the same thing as zero dollars
  • 22 years old is old.

We will continue to follow these and other stories. We ARE Duh Aficionado magazine.

*We may or may not actually issue our own scientific research in the following days covering other Hollywood trends, and we reserve the right to not issue any scientific research, and no duh.
Comments (46)
  1. • Security cameras have infinite high-resolution zoom capability.

  2. I love their faces in the picture up yonder. I am fairly certain that they’re about to murder the shit out of someone. Plus, ladies always come in three, amirite? Be ye fates or furies, ladies of Mad Men?*

    *I feel that I should note that I had my first winter ice-related mishap this morning and am consequently more than a little high on pain meds. So, really, being as lucid as I am is frankly impressive.

  3. -America demands more Taylor Lautner.

  4. Gender bias has never looked so good. (So sorry.)

  5. Of course women have to wear sexy clothes. They can’t shoot properly or drive fast cars, so what else are they going to do? They might as well look attractive while they’re screaming.

  6. all homeless people have hearts of gold, but they will steal your alcohol if you turn your back for one second

    the guy sitting next to you on the plane IS an under cover air marshal

    pets always have the perfect wisecrack for any situation

    down-and-out lawyers (as well as hobbyist lawyers) are the most successful because they are sassier, have nothing to lose and will hilariously disrespect the judge/be drunk

    if zack galifianikis shows up out of no where and starts ruining everything, love him. he is fragile.

    every suburban family has a dark secret

    there are many lessons a hotshot city slicker can learn from the people who live in small towns in backwoods america

    • If a white guy and a black guy are friends, one of them (usually the black guy) will be noticeably wackier than the other. Bonus points if they are law enforcement officials of some kind.

  7. *Everyone has a cat stuck in a cupboard ready to jump out and scare them when the lights are out and there’s a killer on the lose

  8. This Blog is gender biased! Everyone on the “featured stories” band is a guy and….oh wait nevermind, there are the Politichicks. Carry on….

  9. Hollywood believes:

    CGI looks good.

  10. -The kids are alright

  11. If you have 3 kids, you will have one precocious risk-taker, one nerd, and one who never speaks.

  12. I wish every Hollywood edition of Duh Aficionado would end with a sound clip of “OH YEAH!”

  13. - Zac Braff deserves to make more movies

  14. *Everyone is actually happier if they give up their careers, get married and have kids.

    *Architecture is a glamorous and high paying job, always.

    *Bad guys know they are bad guys, and that makes them happy.

  15. -Teenagers are full-fledged human beings.

  16. henchmen have absolutely no training in anything, even though their job description is pretty much being able to shoot or fight

  17. Kitchens are becoming increasingly ‘illegal-immigrant housekeeper’ biased as well; average, every-day white broads just can’t catch a break!

  18. Hollywood is becoming more and more biased towards actors who piss themselves, but I don’t see people raising a stink about that!

  19. Lawyers are good looking, well dressed, and don’t have aspergers.

  20. “only 3.6% of the directors and 13.5% of the writers on the top-grossing films of 2009 were female”

    I rest my case, FACETACO

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

      • Please rest your case.

      • This comment is the Adventures of Pluto Nash of comments.

      • In light of all the downvotes, I feel I should clarify a few items 1) My original point was that counting the statistics from the highest grossing films does not point to Hollywood’s bias so much as viewer’s bias and without the statistics from low grossing films only makes women look bad 2) I was stating my bias against poor writing and directing, NOT female writers and directors 3) cundela’s point about Michael Bay was well made 4) I apologize to anyone who may have been offended by my seemingly misogonistic statement and I assure you I did not intend for it to be construed as such 5) Screw you guys! Bridesmaids was not even that funny.

        • Good clarification. I think your original post was perhaps phrased a little awkwardly and so resulted in some confusion. On the other hand, the point of this being a Duh Aficionado item is that we don’t need any statistics at all to see that there’s gender bias in Hollywood.

        • Except Michael Bay is always going to bounce back after a bad (i.e. blockbuster failure) movie because studios will keep giving him money; if a woman makes an unprofitable movie ONE TIME, she is considered a bad investment forever.

      • Yeah, because men always produce the BESTEST, GREATEST, MOST WONDERFULEST movies ever ever ever. Go do a WMOAT analysis of writers/producers/directors and see what the male to female ratio is. Go ahead, I’ll wait…I’m done with work for the week.

  21. I don’t know about you guys, but as a high-powered magazine editor from New York who puts my career ahead of my love life, I feel like Hollywood really gets me.

    Anyway, I gotta go. I’ve been assigned to handcuff myself to the cute but infuriating new photographer at the magazine for a piece on gender differences. What wacky hijinks will ensue in our Battle of the Sexes?

    • A little of small golden retrievers can produce both a Zen Buddhist and a puppy that raps.

      • First of all, litter not little.

        Second of all, as another high-ranking lady editor, I totally get this.

        I just moved to a smaller city from THE BIG CITY and I absolutely HATE the ruggedly handsome neighbor down the street that is always catching my dog whenever he gets loose because we went walking in the rain and I’m still wearing my stilettos because I’m a LADY from the BIG CITY. And this guy? Always chopping wood, always catching my dog, always building his own furniture and driving around in that vintage truck. UGH. And yesterday? I found out he used to be a high-powered attorney in the same BIG CITY and ditched everything for an easier life. What an asshole. I should drink cosmos at the local pub during a snowstorm because I don’t know any other way.

        • Oof, I hear you, sister. Why don’t we put on “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and go on a lively shopping spree? My best friend Judy Greer said she’d come along to make us look prettier by comparison!

  22. *There is a deep-rooted, well defined subculture organized around choreographed dance.

  23. People who are successful in their careers get that way because they yell at their underlings all the time.

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