If you look up “what kids want” in the dictionary app on the iPad there’s a CGI hologram of Woody the Woodpecker.

Comments (18)
  1. Woody The Woodpecker/Angry Birds crossover? Yes, please!

  2. Yet there’s still no word on Chilly Willy? Pshh.

  3. i can just hear the obnoxious, mocking laughs of studio executive as they ferociously, rhythmically peck away on their calculators, counting their money before running off into the sunset cackling.

  4. Sanjaya finally has a reason to jump into the movie industry.

  5. “Worlds Been Had Colliding: Franchises Been Had Rebooting,” the new Videogum sub-segment, covering the entertainment industry and its apparent undying devotion to this fucking concept:

  6. I am so tired of hearing stories of corporation’s attempts to ‘modernize’ a thing they own. When applied to the business of taking old childhood nostalgia, repackaging and selling it to the newest generation of children, ‘modernizing’ usually means putting in a bunch of IMMEDIATELY stale pop culture references, slang, and Mickey Mouse Club-selected celebrity voice talent (Miley Cyrus, Katie Perry) over ACTUAL talented voice actors (Billy West, John Di Maggio, Tom Kinney, Laraine Newman, etc etc), a script that serves no deeper purpose than tying all of their boring, useless pop culture references together, inappropriate jokes gracelessly jammed in that are meant for the parents but distract and befuddle kids (the Smurfs pregnancy plot is a prime example), and a shitload of literal and figurative toilet humor.

    These movie monoliths still have not learned from the Pixar model. Make a good story. Make timeless characters in classical peril. Make it ALL ages. Why is that so fucking hard?

    • The real question is, why do you know the details of subplots from the Smurfs movie?

      • It was reviewed on an episode of the Paul Scheer-hosted podcast ‘How Did This Get Made?’, with special guest Paul F. Tompkins.

        • Richard Dawson: “100 people were surveyed, and asked this question: ‘What is the only reason that someone should know details about the Smurfs movie?’

          Contestant: “He or she listened to the episode of ‘How Did This Get Made?’, with special guest Paul F. Tompkins?”

          Richard Dawson: “You said, ‘He or she listened to the episode of “How Did This Get Made?”, with special guest Paul F. Tompkins.’ Survey says! {DING DONG} ‘He or she listened to the episode of “How Did This Get Made?”, with special guest Paul F. Tompkins!!’ All 100 people said exactly that!!”

    • The new Winnie the Pooh was everything you could hope for in a modern reboot

    • I’ve totally just psyched myself out. I had just finished typing out a comment where I say that other animation studios are doing a good job too but also put out their share of bad films, as does any studio, and that some of the bad films are this or that and blah blah blah. Then I realized I had no idea what I was talking about when it came to the details.

      Some bad films are just SO bad (Smurfs, Yogi Bear, Marmaduke, Alvin & the Chipmunks), that you can’t defend them easily. But who am I to say the Shrek franchise is bad? Or Madascar or Ice Age? I can definitely say some franchises’ presence has become obnoxious. But I can’t say they’re terrible for the animated film industry, or making companies money, or entertaining their intended audiences. I’m sure there is an entire generation of kids who went to every Shrek like I went to every Toy Story. I’m sure we even overlap.

      Usually dollar signs are what ruin things, and passion projects (original or adapted from another medium, etc) usually stand out as classics of the film medium.

      I think that’s the only definitive thing I can say, which is still just my opinion. I stil can’t believe I almost dove headlong into an opinionated stance on kids’ films I am in no way qualified to have, seeing as I am an adult and I have no children, have not seen the majority of these films, nor do I work in the children’s entertainment industry. Enjoy Happy Feet 2, everybody! I WON’T see you there!

    • The only time I have seen this work is when the Cartoon Network started fucking with Hannah Barbara stuff and creating shows like Sealab 2021 and Space Ghost Coast to Coast. *That* is what these reboots should mimic… at least in spirit.

      But I guess there’s probably a reason why those shows get 15 minutes on Adult Swim and have a devoted following and seem totally insane to people who don’t spend all day on a pop culture blog. I mean loading my CMS with code. That’s what I do all day. Not this. The other window.

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