“A lot of people get really fixated on their successes in life and don’t realize that the failures are just as important. Y’know? It’s actually by failing that you really start to learn things about yourself and the world we live in, and that’s just as constructive and meaningful as something working out perfectly. Probably more so, even. Take love and relationships, for example. You can’t know what you want, or even start to imagine getting it, without having failed with other people. It’s only by breaking your heart that you can really learn how to use it properly. That’s how I look at it anyway. If things had worked out better with Tony or Joe or Anthony, then I never would have met my current boyfriend, who I love so much and who means the whole world to me. So in a lot of ways it was those failures that allowed me to succeed. Without them I never would have known that the very best person for me was some disgusting, piece of shit thumbhead who dresses up in a homemade military costume on Veterans Day and exploits people’s genuine respect and appreciation for someone in uniform in order to get free stuff and then goes home and proudly vlogs about it in his nightmarish hissing snake voice. Live and learn, guys. Live and learn and love.”

- You

I have to hand it to you, you’ve dated a lot of duds in the past, but this one might be the worst yet! (Via ViralVideos.)

Comments (32)
  1. The Knox City Booster Club women are going to be so disappointed!

  2. Alex Vermitsky  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2011 +7

    Sempre fake and gay

  3. To his credit, I bet a plays a TON of World of Warcraft.

  4. Wow, Cobra Commander has put on a LOT of weight.

  5. Parallel Universe Buster Bluth is scary, you guys.

  6. Alex Vermitsky  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2011 +23

    He should fake being dead on memorial day.

  7. Almost, Gabe. I tried with him, but he dumped me for his fake girlfriend.

    (Side notes: This dude! This dude is so ugh. I wanted to throw my shoe at my monitor but that is not exactly subtle. Also, is it just me or does he not know what any of the words mean? I know, I am pedantic, but still!)

    • What does being a baby doctor have to do with his understanding of words?

    • If he does know what they mean, he certainly doesn’t know how to pronounce them – 1.14 on the video “Admintion”.

      ‘Man on internet thinks he is a sheeple-defying super-villain, turns out to be smug loser.’

  8. Maybe it’s not them, maybe it’s me, maybe I just don’t know what irony is

  9. And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
    Gave proof through the night that our snacks were still there.

  10. Sure, ‘The Office’ has gone downhill, as all shows do over time, but what they’ve done with Kevin’s character is really atrocious.

  11. Golden Corral Waitresses for Truth.

  12. Quick, someone please dunk this guy’s head in the Golden Corral chocolate fountain.

  13. His story checks out. I totally drank a 12 year old scotch at a Golden Corral and then finished it off with a 25 year old whiskey while watching SummerSlam at the Staples Center.

  14. He may not want to show us his fake military uniform, but on Arbor Day I’m damn sure hitting the Golden Corral, looking for the fattest tree I can find, and kicking his ass!

  15. This is what will inevitably happen to all our children when we don’t allow them to go out trick or treating for Halloween.

  16. It’s not even like you get that much good stuff for being a veteran! I went to Texas Roadhouse for my free meal, turns out that was only during lunchtime. I didn’t get nothin’!

  17. this is by far the most despicable thing Karl Rove has ever done.

  18. let me get this straight…by putting on a military uniform, you get free entry to WWE events, free Bloomin’ Onion at Outback Steakhouse, free food at Golden Corral, and free drinks at the bar a few counties over?

    this is like the white trash version of the SNL sketch where Eddie Murphy pretends to be a white guy.

  19. Wait – so Vlogging is still a thing?

    Also – can we do the whole time machine/kill Hitler thing and have Gabe go back in time and start a feud with this guy instead of Sexman?

  20. I look forward to him finding out wrestlers in WWE are just dressing up in costumes and pretending too.

  21. This guy is nothing. When I was in ‘Nam, Charlie was the meanest troll of all. He’d come up to you and say “Hey soldier, I got nice girl for you,” something like that. Then when you went with him behind the shack, BAM! That’s why we couldn’t beat the Viet Cong. They were everywhere, for one thing. And secondly, they did it all for the sake of irony.

  22. piece of shit, this guy

  23. Shut the fuck up, you guys. All of you. You’re such assholes. I bet NONE of you have even TRIED 12 year old scotch, let alone 25 year old whiskey. Grow up.




    AHAHAHA This guy. THIS GUY! hahaha.

  24. dude, i’m in the army and i didn’t even know we got all that shit free. i can’t totally hate this guy cause he just made my plans for memorial day and veterans day for the rest of my life. oh, wait, yes i can because a huge piece of shit. fuck that guy.

  25. He’s not even aware of the most brilliant aspect of his plan. The reason people are buying him so much stuff is because they’re overcompensating for not wanting to appear like they show less respect to a disgusting thumbhead veteran.

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