Last week, Oasis’s Noel Gallagher made an appearance on Letterman to promote and play a song from his new solo album, Noel Gallagher’s Solo Album. (May not be the correct/full title.) It was all going bloody BRIL, until he had an encounter with Katie Holmes that left him chuffed to bits. LORRIES! He took to his blog at NoelGallagher.com to explain what happened:
We literally bumped into* that top Scientologist Katie Holmes on the way into the studio. We came out of the lift and bang, there she was.
Now at this point my mate Scully was doing a bit of filming for my website and managed to capture the moment. She did look a bit miffed at the various North-West accents and some vigorous handshaking, but there was no need to send one of her people over to demand the video be deleted! Un-fuckin’-believable.
Un-fuckin’-believable is right! FEUD! FEUD! FEUD! FUED! Of course, as celebrity blog entries about blossoming celebrity feuds often do, this one leaves us with MANY more questions than it does answers. Like, what was the vigorous handshaking all about? Were they shaking top Scientologist Katie Holmes’s hands vigorously, or each other’s? Or WHOSE?! And why did she want the video to be deleted so badly? And did she know who Noel Gallagher was, do you think? And how many Katie Holmes projects do you think Noel Gallagher could name, and do you think one of them would be Dawson’s Creek? And is Scully a first name, last name, or a nickname?! And finally, IS KATIE HOLMES THE MEANST PERSON ON THE PLANET?!?! Some possible answers after the jump.
- They were shaking each other’s hands vigorously, as it is customary to do in England to ensure a safe trip down the lift.
- Katie Holmes wanted the video to be deleted because as a Scientologist she cannot be captured on video without being properly compensated.
- Katie Holmes assumed Noel Gallagher was a musician because he was unkempt, at the Late Show studio, and being followed by a man with a camera. She couldn’t name his band, but if you played her Oasis’s music she would know it instantly.
- Noel Gallagher knows who Katie Holmes is very well but unfortunately cannot name any of her projects. It’s a shame, he thinks, that her life has been taken over by her current romanic and religious exploits. Then again, would she ever be talked about if it weren’t?
- Scully is a last name.
- KATIE HOLMES IS THE MEANEST PERSON ON THE PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Case closed. WHO’S THE SCULLY NOW?! (Agent Scully.) (The truth is out there.) (Via NME.)