In its relentless attempts to turn any name brand thing that at least 10 children have heard of into a movie franchise, Hollywood, and Warner Bros in particular, has greenlit a movie based on Legos. Do you know what Legos are? They’re inanimate building blocks that you can use to build larger blocks. And then kick into pieces again. Thrilling! From Twitch:

And why should we be interested in this? Well since since 2010 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs co-directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller have been on tap to write and direct. With post production on their 21 Jump Street big screen treatment winding up/down, WB has brought in Robot Chicklen’s Chris McKay as a third director.

Clearly a family-friendly affair, plot details are still under wraps. Meanwhile animation duties go to the Australia based Animal Logic, the house behind Happy Feet and Guardians of Ga’Hoole. While it has been stated that 80% of the movie will take place in a world built entirely of Lego, it is unlikely that the majority of this will be stop-motion with actual bricks, mini-figs etc. due to the long production time needed to animate such objects. Though with McKay on board I do suspect portions of what we see on screen will indeed be physical bricks, which for someone who made stop-motion Lego films as a kid, is absolutely the selling point of all this.

Sounds great. It’s too bad the movie has to be called Legos: The Movie, because another title for it could easily be Perfect: The Movie. No word yet on whether or not the movie will feature real-time Lego construction projects. What we do know is that we’ve gotten our hands on the first pages of the script. VIDEOGUM EXCLUSIVE! After the jump:

INT. WHITE HOUSE – DAY

President Lego is sitting with his fingers tented together, staring at the red Lego phone.

LEGO AIDE
Mr. Lego President, we’re running out of time. We have to make a decision sir.

The President picks up the phone.

LEGO PRESIDENT
Mr. Lego Prime Minister, it’s the Lego President. We have new reports from Lego NASA that there is a Lego asteroid heading towards Lego Earth. We have less than 24 hours before impact. What’s that? Well, no. Right, no. You’re very right, Mr. Lego Prime Minister. Yes, sir. You too. Godspeed.

The Lego President hangs up the Lego phone and swivels in his Lego chair to look out the Lego window at the Lego rose garden. His entire Lego cabinet, gathered in the Lego Oval Office to hear his Lego decision waits anxiously. You could hear a Lego pin drop.

LEGO VICE PRESIDENT
Sir? What did he say?

Slowly, the Lego President turns back to face his friends, family, colleagues, and fellow Lego creatures.

LEGO PRESIDENT
The Prime Minister pointed out that we’re just a bunch of fucking plastic pieces with no central nervous system. He said we definitely can’t feel pain, much less process complicated emotional information. He said not to worry about it. And I quote “Who gives a shit? We’re fucking Legos.”

Everyone nods.

LEGO FIRST LADY
Oh yeah!

CUT TO:

EXT. LEGO EARTH – NIGHT

The Lego asteroid hits. Lego Earth is destroyed. No survivors. The end.

LEGO FADE TO LEGO BLACK.

Look for me on this year’s The Black List!

Comments (27)
  1. WHY ARE YOU TAUNTING US WITH YOUR LACK OF HUNGER GAMES COVERAGE?!! AHHHHHHHH.

  2. Even with the destruction of Lego Earth, the Courier font continued its black reign of terror over the rest of the Lego universe.

  3. Dear Hollywood,

    Lego my childhood.

    Sincerely,

    People of Earth

  4. I’m actually more excited for the slightly less entertaining although surprisingly similar Dreamworks “Super Blocks: The Movie”, that will no doubt be released 2 months prior.

  5. I bet there will be some people who buy this movie and never open it, claiming it is a collectable.

  6. I hear that Ken Burns is working on a 10 hour Lincoln Logs documentary that sounds pretty legit.

  7. Does this movie include scenes of me playing with my Legos, trying to create wonderful designs but failing due to lack of Lego talent, and then just following the instructions?

  8. “Forget it Gabe, It’s Legoland.”

  9. It should be about one man’s never-ending quest to find that one little goddamned piece that he lost…of his heart.

  10. You’re laughing, but it’s still going to be more sophisticated than Duplo: The Movie.

  11. I told you making this movie would be a snap.

  12. I dont get all the cynicism and negative commentating. Why don’t you just give the movie a chance to be good rather than act like a cynical asshole in the season finale of south park last year.

    and you see your reflection in the
    snow covered hills
    a landslide brought it down
    you’re afraid of changing cause you
    built your life around me

  13. I hope they include Professor Kane’s “What happened to Legos when I was in prison?” speech somewhere.

  14. I’ll wait until my Blockbuster has it.

  15. Poster writes itself:

    Lego: The Movie.

    Leggo.

  16. This should be called Toys Hump, starring Emma Stone.

  17. Phil Lord and Christopher Miller also created clone high, and that was the best! Theoretically this has to also be the best.

  18. Listen, this will probably be terrible, but Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs was RAD AS HELL, and Legos is a premise only slightly more thin.

  19. But will there be a part where they discard the script completely and just start improvising because that stupid kit was too hard to build and you dont even know why they give a small kids so many instructions and there are too many legos… i mean the lego movie sounds great…

  20. They have a series of Lego: (popular brand here) video games that have been successful and are fun to play. I imagine that they can make an exciting action movie here. And they can be more violent than most family movies because it’s just Legos. It’s not really someone’s head that went flying across the room.

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