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Everything else about him is fine. He’s got a decent job and he treats you well and he gets along with your family. You’d been dating a full 8 months before he decided that he felt comfortable enough around you to share his hobby with you. The thing is, if it was anyone else telling you this about their boyfriend you know that you’d think it was crazy and a dealbreaker and that there was something wrong with the guy. And it’s not so much that your views on sexuality have evolved or that you think he’s so great that what he chooses to do behind closed doors is no one else’s business. The fact of the matter is his videos make you really uncomfortable and kind of make you want to break up with him. They’re creepy and misogynistic and it’s weird that he does both of the voices himself. But the night that he finally opened up to you about his YouTube Barbie Porn account (username captaindookie324, what’s that all about?) it was three in the morning and you didn’t feel like taking the G train home. At this point he’s taken your silence on the matter as acceptance.

NSFW.

(Buzzfeed via Gorilla Mask)

Break up with him, girl. Go to church!

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Comments (7)
  1. That was so fucking funny.

  2. why … why is there one where barbie has a mask on

  3. Golden Gabe post.

  4. I mean, I could say that the one in which Barbie is tied up with dental floss and half-Gollum is my favorite, but then I’d have to take a long, hard look at my life.

  5. Gabe I can’t believe you didn’t post the Gollum one. I mean, this one is disturbing but not half as disturbing as captaindookie’s Gollum-slurping noise.

  6. Liam  |   Posted on Dec 13th, 2008 +1

    I’m going to start referring to oral sex as “saliva action” now. saliva action FTW.

  7. FBC  |   Posted on Dec 14th, 2008 0

    Honestly, I could only watch the Gollum one for five seconds before I felt like setting fire to myself

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