While we still do not know WHO POOPED AND PEED ON THE BANK, I think one thing we can agree is that everyone in this “news” clip is a real TREAT. Especially the “reporter.” Look, it is completely reasonable for someone to feel like they don’t understand the point of the Occupy Wall Street movement. I’m not even sure the Occupy Wall Street movement entirely understands the point of the Occupy Wall Street movement. (Note: This is the movement’s Eureka, CA, branch.) And the dude in the red fleece who won’t stop saying that the banks “poo on us every day” is not someone I would want to have a genuine conversation with about anything other than bargain-priced outerwear. But this lady with her microphone is so rude and aggressive and mean! Why you gotta be that way? I know she wants the truth (should have worn a grapes costume) and we ALL want to know WHO POOPED AND PEED ON THE BANK, but, and I’m not a professional journalist like she is, but do you really think we’re going to find out WHO POOPED AND PEED ON THE BANK just by walking around asking people directly (and sardonically) WHO POOPED AND PEED ON THE BANK and hoping someone just up and confesses? To pooping and peeing on a bank? And I’m sorry that Harry and the Hendersons pushed your camera, but do you really need the word “ASSAULT” right in the title of this video? You know that human beings are actually assaulted sometimes and it’s terrible, right? (Meanwhile, the way the unseen woman in the background giggles “well, the police are on their way” like she is trying out for voiceover work in the Mean Girls Nintendo DS Lite game makes me want to POOP AND PEE ON HER FACE.) She does have a point, though, when she says “You guys wanted us to do news on you, and now we are doing news.” Hahha. Yeah, no, this is definitely news. WE WILL CONTINUE TO FOLLOW THE STORY OF WHO POOPED AND PEED ON THE BANK UNTIL WE GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS IMPORTANT NEWS. (Via Gawker.)

Comments (33)
  1. I have a pretty good idea who it was…

  2. I sincerely hope that they were trying to figure out who pooped and peed on the bank so, when they found the culprit, they could shout “Eureka!”

  3. at first i was pretty sure that the guy in the red fleece was the worst person in the video, and then bam! m night shaymalan twist! that reporter is supremely fucking annoying!

  4. The related videos Bing is providing for this post are upsetting.

  5. I want to comment about the article but I can’t get past how weird that Mean Girls Nintendo DS Lite game link made it into this post. Such a weird callback.

  6. Gross, Occupy Wall Street protester that pooped and peed on the bank. That is disgusting, and the suits that you are against are not the ones that will have to clean up after your mess. Gross.

  7. “Do news on you” is the name of my new kinky sex game.

    Does it involve pooping and peeing? No. Maybe. Definitely not.

  8. Maybe a reporter can come ask all my neighbors “Who let their dog shit on the sidewalk?” or “Who left this pile of dog shit in the parkway where we all have to walk our dogs?”

    My neighbors are assholes.

    • My (late) great uncle actually did do this. We were visiting him in Denmark and someone didn’t bother to clean up after their dog right in the middle of a theme park walkway. He bothered every dog owner who walked past about it and it was just kind of hilarious. I would probably have been annoyed as a dog owner he was harassing but the rest of the family watching him were cracking up. I think it was the extreme politeness in his address. “Excuse me, is this your dog’s shit? I think it might belong to you, sir. Oh it’s not? My mistake! Maybe you could help me find out who it belongs to?” Amazing.

      • That’s so great! Such a gentleman in his pursuit for the irresponsible dog owner!

        Someone let their dog shit in my dad’s yard, and he made his own sign that said “What moron let their dog do this?” with an arrow pointing to the pile of crap. I told him I needed to borrow it. Clearly our family is not as polite as yours.

  9. The site looks more like a phish festival than an Occupy movement.

  10. Did you poop and pee on the bank?

  11. I thought assault was when you feared violence whereas battery is actual physical contact. But, I wouldn’t expect this “reporter” to understand the meaning of words.

  12. The internet poops and pees on us everyday :(

  13. Like a regular Frost/Nixon exchange, poop and pee was alluded to, but never fully disclosed as a whole truth.
    Something tells me that those occupiers would be camping on the street regardless of any protest.

  14. :: One Week Later ::

    “BOSS, I think I’ve got it!”

    “What’s that, blonde reporter? A big scoop that will really put our station on the map?!”

    “NO, I’m going to blow the lid RIGHT OFF this poop and pee on the bank story! See, I did some tracking down, and after some lab reports-”

    “You’re fired.”

  15. THE BANKS POOP ON US
    THE BANKS POOP ON US
    WE AIN’T TAKING IT NO MORE
    THE BANKS POOP ON US
    (break it down)

  16. It was obviously Spank.

  17. I’m from Humboldt County and am all too familiar with the spangers and trustafarians and the “intentionally homeless” that coagulate in smelly herds on the Arcata plaza and other parts of town, panhandling for money and weed (and often getting angry or mean when you refuse). They’re always there, and unfortunately they seem to have hijacked the Occupy movement as an excuse for their gross and obnoxious behavior. Also, whatever idiot did POOP AND PEE on the US Bank was either an “Occupier” that failed to realize that US Bank is actually a regional western bank and not connected to the evil banks that “poo on us every day”, or more likely it was just a homeless dude and/or meth addict who needed to take a shit and realized that the assholes a few blocks away pretending to occupy the courthouse would make the perfect scapegoats.

    Three things are clear:
    (1) Yelling and blaming protesters who are already being disingenuous about their motives is DEFINITELY the best way to get your very serious questions about poop and pee answered.
    (2) These folks should in no way be associated with the Occupy movement as a whole – there could not be more of a difference between them and my brave friends who are still Occupying Oakland.
    (3) Where is Dave Silverbrand when you need him? Dave Silverbrand would have cracked this story wide open (A little News Channel 3 Spirit Of The North Coast humor for my NorCal brethren).

    Humboldt! Represent! (But please stop representing us as people who poo on banks and/or as people who think it’s important to report on who pooed on the bank.)

  18. “That is assault! I’m arresting you!” Sorry, reporter lady, that’s not how arresting works.

  19. Is this another Aronofsky meth PSA?

  20. Are you sure this isn’t something UCB founding member Matt Besser didn’t cook up? I swear, every person in this video is a character I’ve seen or heard Matt Besser do.

  21. I shit in the woods, not on a bank. So it wasn’t me.

  22. “It was me.” – Gerard Depardieu

    Was there ever any doubt this was the work of a Frenchman?

  23. Stolen from a Youtube comment that actually made me laugh far too loudly in my own room, urging my housemate to ask what was going on, prompting me to make excuses and tell him to go away whilst slamming my door shut:

    “She should get the POO-litzer prize!!!!”

    I slammed the door on my own sense of worth….

  24. George Clooney and I are having a great laugh over this one!

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