I wish this reporter was my dad. At the very least, I wish this reporter was my reporter. He asks the tough questions, and he knows that a real journalist can’t help but apply Heisenberg’s uncertainty principal if her or she attempts to get at the truth, but that’s not going to stop him from trying. As Sculder and Mully used to say, “It’s out there, man.” And if he winks at the audience along the way, as if to say Hey! You and me, we’re in the same big old boat we call LIFE, and isn’t it GRAND?! then so be it. What are they going to do, continue to overlook him for the Pulitzer? He’s lived a good life, and he knows exactly how much some dumb trinket of man’s false pride before God is going to be worth on the other side. So you can keep (and shove) your Peabodys, thank you very much. The facts will be reward enough. (Via ViralVideos.)

Comments (32)
  1. Gabe was wearing his pineapple costume when he wrote this post.

  2. I’m not sure I get Fruit of the Loom’s viral marketing campaign.

  3. Man, if I had a nickel for ever video I’ve seen about a “disruptive banana,” I’d have been a millionaire by the time I was 15.

    • (Psssst… a banana is often considered a phallic fruit, and I’m gay, so– listen, I’m not going to hold your hand all the way through this joke…)

  4. Suddenly Mr. Bananagrabber just got a whole lot more inappropriate.

  5. Orange you glad he didn’t … oh never mind.

  6. I’ll just leave this here…

    • It’s a wonder that the prestigious Milford School–where boys should be neither seen nor heard–held such liberal views towards students adorning themselves in Banana costumes.

  7. So quick not even the camera tracking to catch him.

  8. Really wish his name was Gilbert.

  9. I went to National Press Photographers Association training last month and I am severely disappointed that they didn’t teach us the fruit costume technique. I’ve been watching my colleagues win awards for months now, and I;m sure I could’ve gotten a Keith L. Ware Award if only I’d known to wear that pear costume from seventh grade…

  10. Guess they are trying to replace “Leaf” from the ads as Leaf is not a fruit! Unless you’re a Koala in which case you would still probably prefer apples

  11. You guys, I think this is our new Andy Rooney. I think it’s like Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
    Into every generation, a charming elderly curmudgeon is born.

  12. When asked “Why a banana,” he responded “I don’t know… potassium is great.”

    No, sir. You are great. You.

  13. Pat Collins is the station’s go-to guy for standing outside with a yardstick and measuring snowfall totals. He loves it. I doubt he even goes inside between shots.

  14. They also occasionally send him to accident scenes, I guess if no one else is available, like it’s 4 in the morning and he’s hanging around the station.

  15. Just when you think you’ll never find somebody to fill the grand-canyon sized void Mickey Rooney left, this guy comes along.

  16. He just wanted to do something EPIC. Not cool, Colonial Forge High School.

  17. Grape job!

  18. He’s clearly been a journalist for at least 100 years. You’d think he’d know how to do an interview without SO MANY yes or no questions.

    /sour grapes

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