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Good GREAT news! Ok, actually, maybe you should guess what the news is before I tell you. It has to do with a movie. Ok, fine — A movie that’s going to be made. Ok. You have one guess. What? What did you–Oh, YES, YOU GOT IT! Jay Scherick and David Ronn, the writing team behind The Smurfs, are going to be writing the screenplay for Sony’s future 3D animated Popeye reboot! You are sooooo good at guessing OMG I can’t even believe it. Probably you were able to guess it right away because it’s something you’ve wanted for a really long time? Ever since The Smurfs came out and the integrity of the series was so well preserved, while still being gently updated for a younger audience who may not have ever even heard of The Smurfs before seeing the movie? And you were like, “Man, I wish they’d do the same for poor old Popeye.”? I knew it! I knew that’s what you thought. Now who’s good at guessing?! Well, luckily for you, Sony president Bob Osher felt the same way. From Deadline:
“Scherick & Ronn have a remarkable talent in re-energizing beloved characters,” said Sony Pictures Digital Productions president Bob Osher. “As they demonstrated with The Smurfs, they embrace the iconic characteristics of these timeless characters and craft a story that really engages moviegoers today.”
All the old characters must be sooo glad that every single one of them is being re-energized these days. “I can’t wait for my turn!” -Pepper Ann. But how are Scherick and Ronn going to engage today’s moviegoers? Today’s moviegoers are a PRETTY tough crowd and Popeye is a PRETTY old and boring cartoon that none of them are going to care about until some updated stuff is sloppily thrown at it. So. How are they going to do it?! My guesses:
- H. Jon Benjamin is Popeye.
- “Spinach” is just an app on Popeye’s iPhone 6.
- Olive Oyl rides a hoverboard and has purple spiky hair.
- Bluto is a mean gossip blogger and spreads a rumor online that Olive Oyl is pregnant.
- Ham Gravy creates a social networking website called GravyBook and makes a zillion dollars.
- Lots of jokes about what, exactly, Popeye HAS in that pipe.
- Everybody has a robot voice sometimes.
And all of that in 3D? I can hardly wait! Ahh, if only every movie could be a 3D reboot of a comic from the early 1900s.
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“I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a BOCA burger today.” – Wimpy2K
“Spinach” is spiked with steroids.
Backne plays a surprisingly big role in a sub-plot about Popeye and Olive’s dormant sex life.
• Robin Williams play Popeye.
“plays”
No, you had it right; “Williams” is plural so it takes the singular “play.”
The Popeye them song will be “sung” by Pitbull feat. Lil’ Wayne, OBVS.
Also, a totally new character will wear a black a turtleneck, with a ‘beehive’ hairdo (it will be done very tastefully, don’t worry).
*theme song.
how about “he’s popeye the sailor man, he lives in a garbage can, on top of a heater, he’ll cut off your weiner, he’s popeye the sailor man.”
or was this not a common song sang during different variations of hand slapping games amongst the other videogum youths???
I believe the original was “he loves to go swimmin’ with bare naked women, he’s popeye the sailor man.”
I thought it was “you’ll see on the vidya how he got chlamidia, he’s Popeye the Sailor Man.”
“you’ll run far away, from this comeback vehicle for Dave Coulier, he’s Popeye the sailor man.”
“he seems kind of skittish, ‘cuz he’s secretly Yiddish, he’s Popeye the sailor man.”
(This one was only relevant in the 30′s-40′s, and damn I wish I knew how to hit the reply button.)
So many herman caines in this comment section.
Olive Oyl rides a Hover-Round? Like, to the Grand Canyon?
Yes, this will be the one the kids are going to beg their parents to take them to see. A total July 4th blockbuster for sure. Please put all your eggs in Popeye’s pipe and bank on this one hitting all new records.
It’s going to be eye popping!