The other day, Ann Coulter said that the Republican party’s blacks were “more impressive” than the Democratic party’s blacks, which of course she did, and which oh brother. Like, that is already just a whole mess to untangle that I am not sure I would even want to get into it. Besides, what are you going to do? When you wake up screaming, do you get mad at the nightmare? Nightmares doin’ what nightmares do. But now Ann Coulter appeared on The Joy Behar Show to defend herself, and that is when things get REAL dicey.

What a lunatic. What a disgusting, miserable, lying lunatic. (The worst part about Ann Coulter, which is the worst part about a lot of the loudest right wing rhetoricians is that she’s just clearly lying? Like, she knows that she is full of shit and she doesn’t believe half the things that come out of her mouth, but she also knows what gets ratings and what sells books and cetra, so she refuses to break character. See also: Bill O’Reilly.) The thing is, though, she almost makes sense for a second, before stopping to make sense, and then closing it off with one of the more bullshit things anyone has said in awhile. Hear me out:

The thing about how it takes more effort for black people to become vocal republicans is probably true! (Whether or not this is “impressive” is another thing altogether.) She doesn’t really spend any time examining why, of course. In her crackpot mind, it would appear that the only reason a black person WOULDN’T be republican is because of fear of going against their family’s politics or whatever and not due to, say, the party’s history of racism and at the very least their complete indifference towards social injustice and economic inequality, two issues that affect large swaths of the minority population. But, so, if we just ignore those things for a second, it is true that there is a knee-jerk tendency, at least among many whites, to think that there is something up with black republicans. It’s not unlike the log cabin republicans. You know, just, like, what? Guys? You OK? What’s up? And maybe that’s not fair. Everyone is certainly entitled to their beliefs, and it’s condescending and unfair to simply assume that they are wrong in their political opinions because of assumptions you make about their goals and/or background. I never thought I would say this, but one point, Ann Coulter.

Then, of course, she gets into one-to-one black person comparisons which we are not going to touch because we do not want to get ELECTROCUTED by RACISM. That’s just horrifying and also one of the most fallacious logical constructions you can possibly make. Like, I’m sure you can pick three miserable people and compare them to three wonderful people and pretend like you have proven a point (which she didn’t even do here, I’m just saying) but you wouldn’t have proven anything other than that you do not know how logic, arguments, or the world works. Leave it alone. Don’t touch it. It’s the devil’s bits at the end of Time Bandits.

But then Ann Coulter gets REAL ANN COULTER-ISH when she says that “the only racism you hear in America these days is against conservative blacks.” KABOOOOOOOM! Coulter BOMB in your FACE! You know, it is hard to be on a TV show like this. There’s the lights and the aggressive air conditioning and you only have a little bit of time to make sense and if the other person is disagreeing with you maybe the words come out a little wrong sometimes and that’s to be expected and forgiven. But, a thousand monkeys talking into a thousand microphones in the British Museum wouldn’t say something like THAT! Unbelievable. And also unacceptable. I mean, just straight up factual nonsense right on the face of it, but combined with the fact that the Tea Party is the most racist shit ever, this spiderbeast has some balls on it.

To read the rest of this article become a Duh Aficionado subscriber!

Comments (83)
  1. if i woke up to either of those women every morning id kill myself.

  2. Can we tie her to a rocket and send her to space already?

  3. Well I don’t know much about politics, but I think Videogum has some of the most impressive blacks on the internet…

  4. Well, maybe she meant that….nope. Sorry.

  5. Right. There is no way to respond to anything she says while retaining sanity. See you later!

  6. “Our blacks are more impressive than their blacks.” – Ann Coulter, expert on being impressive

  7. I’m only racist against the breed of half-human/half-horse people that produced Ann Coulter.

  8. Great Scott! This whole affair is just dredful.

  9. Once you go Republican black, you never go Democratic black back!

  10. We need to stop defining people by the color of their skin. I don’t even think of Herman Cain as a black person. I think of him as an Italian person, because he makes pizza.

  11. I saw this at the gym yesterday and it pushed me to run an extra 1.2 miles just out of rage. Thanks Ann! You’re an amazing motivator. Maybe you should quit your job and just espouse your insanity as a means of personal training. No really, try it. Quit your job and try it. I bet face to face, your insanity could push me to 8 miles instead of 5. I need to look good for this wedding, so… yeah.

  12. Did anyone else half-expect her to use the word “negro”?

    • true story, one time in college I was talking to some girl and she mentioned something about some guy who she described as “colored”.
      and i said, “Colored? what? you talk like my grandma!” (note – my grandmother wasn’t racist, she was just really old and her vocabulary was somewhat antiquated)
      then the girl got mad at me and ended the conversation.
      great story, KO

      • True story: One time (in 2003, not 1943) when I was working at a LAW FIRM, another LAWYER was telling me about an experience he had with a dancer at a strip club (!!!!!) and explained that “She was pretty. You know, she was a colored girl, but had a great body.”

        Then I got mad at him and ended the conversation.

    • I think when she says “black people,” she doesn’t really mean the second word.

  13. Ann Coulter just dropped metaphorical cinderblacks on all our heads.

  14. Oh boy. As someone who is the son of a Log Cabin Republican, I feel especially disgusted by the She Beast that is Ann Coulter. Listen lady, just because someone has a different belief system than you, no matter how backwards you think it is, DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE AN ASSHOLE. You make your arguments, you listen to theirs, and if you can’t reach an agreement, you let it be. If it’s not directly endangering the health or well being of someone , then your incessant nagging (and that’s all it is) that one type of people is better than another based strictly on their political leanings is ignorant at best, and down right disgusting at worst.

    To me, my father’s faith and support in the Republican party (a party that if they had their way would probably outlaw his very way of life) is baffling. I do not understand it, even after numerous in depth discussions about it. That being said, he is my father. He is one the smartest and kindest people I know in the world, and I would love him no matter what he believes (he totally loves Michelle Bachman).

    Ann Coulter, please crawl back into whatever Hate Cave spawned you, so you can at least do one good thing in you horrible life. Thanx.

    • Would you mind elaborating on some of your father’s rationale? I’d really like to hear how he reconciles his party affiliation with his personal life (especially with respect to social conservatives like Bachmann).

      • I have to assume he’s somewhat wealthy. It’s the only (albeit quite selfish) rationale I’ve ever heard that makes sense at all.

        • Got it in one! One thing I forgot to say is I’m sure part of it is a fear of change. He was raised Republican and it’s all he knows. To try and change his ideals now would probably be too much for him. I ask him often if he can appreciate the irony of a man who fathered two children with a wife and is now gay being unwilling to change, but that’s a whole ‘nother bag of worms.

      • Part of it, I think, is blind faith and part of it is his devotion to various Republican icons. (Some of my dad’s heroes include Nixon, Reagan, and the man himself George W. Bush). I think part of it also has to do with the fact that he’s done very well for himself believing in what he does. He owns his own business, has a beautiful home, car etc. that he obtained simply through hard work and perseverance; traits I think he closely ties in with the Republican Party. When I try to explain that these traits aren’t mutally exclusive to the Republican Party he usually will make grunting noises or tell me to “stop being a hippie.” I love him so much!

        One thing we do agree on, however, is how much Ann Coulter resembles Skeletor.

        • this describes my own Dad’s political beliefs pretty well, he’s pretty science/tech inclined and I’ve often wondered how he could reconcile that with being conservative and growing up as an Evangelical, and I think it’s for most of the same reasons you described. The weird thing is growing up in the 60′s he WORSHIPED Martin Luther King and when I try to equate things that are going on now with the Civil Rights Movement back then, it’s like talking to a brick wall.

    • You’ve got a challenge man. Nobody in the gay community likes LCRs except an LCR. I’ve literally seen guys say they’re a LCR and the person talking to them will simply stop, turn around and ignore them for like ever. Minority conservatives have a hard time reconciling their beliefs with pretty much anyone else because the right wing nut jobs have really taken over the Republican party. That’s why I hate having a two party system – there are shades of gray. Sorry went off on a tangent there but I hate that only have two choices.

  15. You guys, Ann Coulter’s not racist. She loves black people! If Herman Cain hadn’t fed her pizza after midnight, she never would have turned into the creature you see before you today!

  16. I, for one, cringe whenever somebody says “our blacks.” Unless they’re talking about the New Zealand “All Blacks” and they have a weird accent or I misheard them or something.

  17. If you allow that she doesn’t understand how pronouns work, it’s not an incorrect statement. She meant to say that “the only racism I hear in America these days is against conservative blacks,” and this is true. Because Ann Coulter has selective hearing and is an asshole.

  18. I’m not going to defend this, or take sides because that would totally defeat my point as you will see in a moment- this is garbage. But I’m really sick of the polarizing of politics. Maybe it’s the trend of politics as entertainment that has made things so dramatic. Maybe it’s the cartoon personalities that come on television and have WWF style debates like the one in this video. But I find it to be highly destructive to our country and society that we have developed a system where, no matter who is elected, a solid 50% of the nation firmly believes they are Satan’s egg child, and the other 50% believe they have saved the world from sudden and immediate disaster. I’m generalizing, I know, and that is part of the problem, people trying to simplify complex issues. But, I just see things like this and I feel like American politics, now more than ever, has become the equivalent of a ridiculous Ford vs. Chevy debate and few are willing to just admit that a car is a car and no matter what you buy you are going to need to maintain it, it’s going to break down eventually, and ultimately You are the one responsible for where it takes you.

    • I dont think that math is right. I’m not sure if 50% of the voting aged public actually vote so its a minority of people who follow the politics and give a care

      • True. I almost said something about that, but I didn’t want to muddy up the argument. But, for starters, just because someone doesn’t vote doesn’t mean that they don’t choose sides. It’s a ridiculous inconsistency, but it’s true. Everyone seems to have a strong opinion one way or the other; the fact that so few people are even convicted in that opinion enough to vote on the issue is indicative of people that are pretending to care out of fear. Most people just don’t know what to think. Things are complicated and there is so much noise, like this Ann Coulter garbage that drowns out people’s ability to think. If you ask us we will give an opinion, but as soon as you walk away we go back to being confused and unsure. Beyond that, I really am more uncomfortable with the fact that we have convinced ourselves through drama that “giving a care” means to hate and dehumanize. “Hating is Caring” sounds like something straight out of a George Orwell book, but I can see it all over the place.

        Anyway. Sorry to get all serious. I’m really just puzzling through this, and trying to identify the bad taste in my mouth. I don’t want to come off sounding like I have figured anything out.

    • Zayin politics awesome comment, great job! Which is to say, I agree and you put it perfectly. We’ve got all these people who are bomb at bringing in the viewers but never addressing a single issue, and then the viewers’ first thought about politics is what they saw/heard/read the night before. I genuinely believe people care about a lot of legitimate, relevant issues and the majority of us can relate to one another and discuss opposing viewpoints without a catfight, but you’d never know that with jerks like Ann Coulter getting all the attention.

  19. I wish Ann Coulter would get a divorce, from being alive.

  20. It’s not surprising that “Unclean Rot” is an anagram for Ann Coulter.

  21. When I saw her make that statement on Hannity, I thought it was awesome that Fox News brought out the Crypt Keeper to say some scary stuff for Halloween. They’re terrifying all the time, so it was especially impressive to see them top themselves for the holiday.

  22. One drop of Ann Coulter would definitely turn us all into hermit crabs.

  23. Have you guys seen Breaking Bad on AMC? It’s a really good show. You should watch it!

  24. I ran into Ann Coulter at JFK once. She was the nicest anyone has ever been to me at an airport. Also, she had the hands of an 80 year old woman.

  25. RACISM IS EVIL!!!!!!!!!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.