• The much-anticipated Marcel the Shell book was released today! YAY! Buy it for yourself and all of the young people you know! -Amazon
  • Merrill Markoe’s collection of essays, Calm, Cool, and Contentious, was also released today! What an exciting day for books. You can read an interview with her about it and other things here —> -AV Club
  • This Russian director is doing a crazy thing that seems like an IRL Synecdoche, New York and I don’t understand it fully, partially because I haven’t finished the entire article yet, but you should read it and finish it if that’s a possibility for you right now. -GQ
  • FilmDrunk feels bad for the girl who was hired to be the not-hot secretary in the new American Pie movie. Uh, maybe she should have just tried to BE HOTTER? Just kidding. American Pie is the worst and I hate it a lot, I can’t believe it keeps existing! -FilmDrunk
  • You can watch Will Ferrel’s entire Mark Twain award ceremony now, if you’d like to! -Buzzfeed
  • Well, so, here is a picture of Walt White holding a 99% sign. I feel three things about this: First, that it is a little late. I feel like all these fake 99% signs are at least like two or three weeks old. Second, I don’t like it very much. But then, third, I still kind of like it? Emotions are confusing! Sometimes you just have to deal with conflicting ones. I hope your feelings about this photo are easier to handle than my own. #breakingbadforever -TheDailyWhat
  • Heidi Klum had another Halloween party? Heidi, calm down! She and Seal had an even better costume for this one though, kind of. I can’t tell if it’s better or if it’s cheating because it’s just kind of like a full-on suit? Listen. I’m having a rough day deciding how I feel about useless pop culture things, please give me a break. -TheSuperficial
  • Last night the Muppets were on WWE’s Monday Night Raw. DUH. Duh, moving on. -Movieline
  • Reese Witherspoon was seen carrying a python purse and PETA is unhappy with her. Apparently selling anything made with python is illegal in California? I had no idea. Not that that will change anything ever in my life. But. INTERESTING! -Dlisted
Comments (9)
  1. Heidi and Seal, I don’t believe that’s you. It could be anyone that you paid to get into those ridiculous costumes and parade around as Heidi and Seal Apes.

  2. I don’t hate American Pie. Teen sex comedies serve good purpose, kind of! They really do!

    I DO sort of have a problem with sequels released ten years later, though. People should either be too old to want a sequel, or too young to know what the original was.

  3. I believe I read somewhere that Heidi Klum and Seal renew their marriage vows every year on a private island or something. She also seems like a total douchebag. (Deep thoughts. I have them.)

  4. As a band geek who went to band camp, I have to say that I fucking HATE American Pie. Those jokes were never funny, but they manage to be some sort of potent anti-humor the three billionth time you hear them.

    However, Marcel is here to sooth my wounded soul. Oh, Marcel! You are a peach! Figuratively!

  5. Is anyone else mostly upset about the font Walter White chose? No way he would use that font.

  6. That GQ article is confusing in a bunch of ways. I don’t know. It doesn’t seem real? It seems like we would have heard more about that? And also it seems like there’s a lot of incompatible information at different sources? But also it would be weird for GQ to engage in some viral-marketing critical-theory maneuver for some unheard-of Ukrainian director? Gentleman’s Quarterly? Uptalking?

    • I am equally perplexed. The idea just seems so insanely farfetched. How could such a thing be possible?

      Still, I am also persuaded to think that GQ wouldn’t publish farce without labeling it as such.

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