Shane, who has not been bitten by a zombie but does seem to be suffering from some kind of Smoldering Brood Virus, is in the bathroom at the farmhouse taking a shower and also shaving his head. Wait, what? For one thing, either take a shower OR shave your head, but it seems pretty wasteful to leave the hot water running while you decide to change up your look for fall. Also, showing a character shaving his head with an electric razor while the bathroom fills up with steam from the shower raises a whole bunch of questions that might not have been asked if this scene had just been left out. For example, isn’t the power grid out? Not only just from a logical standpoint by which the power grid would definitely be out, but I think when they went to the CDC last season they were amazed that there was power and the scientist explained that the building was on a closed circuit power supply (set to EXPLODE). I suppose the hot water is just an extension of the same issue, but really, even if the farmhouse is running on its own emergency generator, shouldn’t they be a little more frugal? Do they need to keep ALL of the lights BLAZING all the time, and also allow for long, brooding Shane Showers? And then of course there is the hair, because it is only when a character who has supposedly been running through the woods for two months decides to shave his head that you realize his hair (and face) are almost impossibly well kept considering the circumstances and for that matter so is everyone’s. You guys look great. Nice heads.

Lori and Grimes are sitting at Carl’s bedside and Grimes is telling his wife about how wild Shane used to be in high school. At a certain point in his anecdote about the time that Shane stole the principal’s car and drove it out into a field and filled it with grain and then ran back to school, Grimes points out that Lori has heard this story before. SO THEN WHY ARE YOU TELLING IT? Your son is dying, Grimes. I know you’ve got to do something to take everyone’s mind off of this tragedy, but does that something have to be telling an old story about the man who cuckolded you about a high school prank that doesn’t even make sense? (There is a pun involved, naturally.) To make matters worse, he then explains that this story perfectly illustrates why Shane is going to get back in time with the medical supplies so that the veterinarian can operate on their son. Really? Does it? Does the time that Shane stole the principal’s car and drove it into a field and filled it with grain and then sass-mouthed the principal about his prank demonstrate that Shane is definitely going to succeed at escaping an army of zombies with the medical supplies? Because from where I am sitting, those two things have nothing to do with each other. But maybe I just don’t know Shane the way that Grimes knows Shane. Or the way that Lori fucked knows Shane. Lori asks her husband to please eat something to keep his strength up because she needs him, so he reaches for a sandwich. Uh. No, sure, OK. I’m sure there’s tons of store bought white bread around. Definitely. That is, like, the last thing that would go bad after the collapse of society. “We may not have much, but we definitely have lots of delicious bread that will never go bad.” Good sandwich. Very realistic. Nom nom nom.

The mom of that little girl who is STILL missing (good God, how long is this shoooow?!) won’t stop crying, which is driving Daryl up a tree like an old Chinese raccoon in a honky tonk steel mill (country saying) so he decides to go for a “walk,” and Andrea decides to go with him. Dale does NOT think this is a good idea, and Andrea is a real BITCH to him about it. She seriously needs to chill. It must be so hard having someone who cares about you in this godforsaken wasteland. I mean poor you fer sure. Just by a show of hands, who thinks that it’s just the WORST that Dale cares about Andrea?

They don’t end up finding that little girl (gotta wait for the thrilling season finale in which it turns out the little girl was actually on Jodie Foster’s Flight Plan and never existed and O’Henry) but they do find a guy who got bitten by a zombie and tried to hang himself but so now he’s just a squeaking zombie hanging from a tree. This makes Andrea sad for some reason. The people on this show sure get sad at the weirdest times. Daryl ain’t care about this dumb zombie. “He made his choice,” Daryl says, which I mean, OK. Like, it’s fine to not care about a zombie hanging from a tree, but I don’t think you need to get into this situation as some kind of demonstration of the ways in which we all must suffer the consequences of our behavior or whatever. (Also, the zombie’s legs have been chewed off by other zombies, which is gross but also raises the question of how there even can be roving packs of zombies then? Why aren’t they all just feeding on each other? Never mind. Don’t worry about it. We made our choice. To watch this show.) Daryl asks Andrea if this zombie in the tree makes her want to live, which, WHO CARES ABOUT ANDREA AND HER SUICIDAL IDEATION?! Let her kill herself. Or not. Why do we have to talk about it forever? She says she’ll answer his question in exchange for him shooting the zombie through the head with an arrow, which is a pretty good deal. Then she says “I don’t know if I want to live or not.” Ew. Of course she says that. Andrea, that is seriously not an answer. In exchange, Daryl shoots HER through the head with an arrow, I wish. (When they get back to the RV, Dale will give her her gun back but by then I will already be too bored with all of these idiots to care about it.)

Meanwhile, over at Zombie High, Shane and the fat dude are at a Zombie Pep Rally in the gymnasium. They keep shooting zombies, which seems kind of beside the point. Like, you are definitely wasting bullets and there are too many of them, so why don’t you just save those bullets. The fat guy goes this way and Shane goes that way and Shane is about to jump out a window when a zombie grabs him (clever girl) and he has to pull out his ankle pistol and shoot the zombie, and so he falls and hurts his leg. Oh no! He is shuffling towards the car when he gets cornered by three zombies and it looks like he is done for but then a gun goes off and it’s the fat guy and he’s killed one of the zombies and Shane kills another one, and I don’t remember who kills the third but Shane is saved! Admittedly, when you think about it, it was only three zombies and they seemed to have been moving pretty slowly from a reasonable distance, so I’m not entirely clear on why Shane couldn’t just shoot all three of them, but the point is thank you, fat guy.

Back at the farmhouse, Glen shows up with T-Boz and immediately gets a crush on some girl. LOVE CONNECTION! I can’t wait until they get married at Niagra Falls like Jim and Pam, and all the zombies dance down the aisle to Chris Brown. The doctor explains that if Shane and the fat guy don’t get back soon, they’re going to have to decide whether or not to operate on Carl without the supplies, even though it will probably kill him. Lori tells Grimes that maybe this isn’t a world for children. Maybe, she says, it’s better for Carl to die. GOOD POINT, LORI! Grimes has this weird belief that he would rather their only son live. Weird. So weird Grimes. Stop being weird. The problem with Lori’s argument, of course, is that if she’s right, then why don’t they all just blow their brains out right now? Seriously! Do it! End yourselves! Grimes points out that they had a chance to die when the CDC blew up. (P.S. It will never stop making me laugh how the CDC blew up. Good one, CDC!) This is probably what it’s like at the dinner table with James Carville and Mary Matalin. So many heated political dead-end debates about whether or not it would be better if everyone just died. Has anyone else noticed that Lori makes the same face whether she’s talking about the mercy of her only child dying or eating a sandwich?

Carl wakes up, talks about petting the deer, and then has a seizure. Haha. This fucking deer! Always with the deer.

The doctor says that it’s time to decide. Grimes asks Lori what she wants to do. She says to go ahead and try the surgery.

They move Carl onto a catering cart. Lots of screaming and crying and stuff. Just then, there’s the sound of a truck pulling up. It’s Shane! With the medical supplies! But the fat man didn’t make it. He told Shane to make a run for it, and that’s just what Shane did. How brave of him. Also this surgery shit better work? Like, if this surgery still doesn’t work and Carl dies then the fat guy will have died for nothing.

Grimes comforts Shane, who does seem pretty tore up, by saying that the fat guy was just trying to make things right. Gross. He’s gone, fine. But we do not have to pretend like there is any actual real moral math to be done here by which it was correct and good for the fat guy to die just in order to get some medical supplies that may or may not help save your son who shouldn’t have been PETTING A GOD DAMNED DEER IN THE FIRST PLACE. The doctor tells them not to mention anything to the fat guy’s wife until after the surgery. Hahha. Sure. What is she going to do? Shove her dirty fingers into Carl’s wound? Hush! Don’t tell her! She’ll shoot Carl again! (P.S. The surgery works, of course, no big whoop. Booooorrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiing.)

Shane goes upstairs to take a shower, which we saw at the beginning. He is looking at himself in the mirror as the bathroom fills up with steam because he is truly very inconsiderate about managing scarce resources. There’s a bloody bald patch on his head. Yuck! What is that from? It’s probably from when the fat man was so brave, right? Like, he just was like “Go on without me!” and Shane was like “Take this as something to remember me by!” and gave the man a locket of his hair? FLASHBACK: They’re running towards the truck and the zombies are behind them, which I guess is a problem although they seriously look like they’re lagging pretty far behind and the boys are going to make it just fine. But then Shane says “I’m sorry,” and shoots the fat man in the leg. Oh Shane. This is JUST like the time that you stole the principal’s car and drove it into the field and put grain in it. So funny. We’ll all be telling the story of the time you shot the fat man in the leg, and Lori will be like “not again!” So Shane shoots the man and then wrestles with him and the zombies are coming and it really seems like they could have spent the same amount of time RUNNING and it would have worked out. Shane is kicking at the guy and starts beating him with a flashlight and it’s like JESUS, SHANE, EASY SOLDIER. Then the zombies eat the man’s face and legs and stuff and that’s how Shane got away with the respirator to save Carl. And that’s also why he shaves his head. On the one hand to hide his Lady MacBeth spot, but also because after you do something like that you have got 2 change up your look, gurl. Isn’t that right, ladies?!

They say that you never know what you would do in a situation until you’re actually faced with it, but you kind of think maybe you wouldn’t do THAT?!

Next week: Carl gets shot again and we start all over, probably.

Comments (91)
  1. at this point i wouldn’t be surprised if they told us that the farm house has an invisible force field on it that keeps zombies away, despite the fact that they do really stupid things like leave the porch lights on at night and don’t close the shades. and the force field is also the reason the house has hot water and electricity.

    • Don’t need a force field. Just make sure all visitors to the Zombie Oasis Farmhouse, Hospital & Fresh Store-Bought Bread Sandwich Shop close the gate after driving in.

    • Freezers, you guys. My grandparents live on a farm and have YEARS worth of bread and food in their freezers. Ever since I was born.*

      *As in, it’s probably been there since I was born, so they could definitely surivive at least three seasons if this terrible show was a reality.

  2. “I know. What if we make it so zombies can hold guns? Also, maybe one of them could talk once in a while?” – The Writers of This Show, Probably

    • - also George Romero…. see: Day of the Dead (1985)

      Everyone always forgets about poor Bub, the semi-educated zombie

    • I literally had a dream last night/this morning where a zombie was talking to me and I called bullshit on him and that he made no sense because zombies can’t talk and everybody KNOWS it.

      • I just can’t wait til we find out who is the zombie master.** Cause we all know zombies only do what they’re told to by their zombie master.*

        *See Buffy the Vampire Slayer
        **I bet it was “Carl”

  3. Proof that writers aren’t just interchangeable commodities: This season’s terrible writing and inconsistent logic. Proof that writers are absolutely interchangeable commodities: This season’s insanely big ratings.

  4. The title was an allusion to saving your last bullet for suicide! Then Shane pulls the reverse non-suicide HOMICIDE move on Taylor Pruitt Vince! Tricky guy!

  5. This episode felt like an improvement to me. Shane might have done something awful, but at least it was interestingly awful, in contrast the characters’ continual urge to be terrible in the smallest insignificant banalities.

    • i agree. i actually commented out loud while watching it that at least something was happening in this one. what’s a show about zombies with no appearance of zombies?

  6. TV turned up, surround sound turned up, no one making a peep and we still couldn’t hear a FUCKING WORD ANY OF THESE IDIOTS WERE SAYING. Speak up, dummies!

  7. I feel so bad for Pruitt Taylor Vince. His nystagmus is a captivating feature, but that combined with his weight always gets him cast as characters who are usually crazy (both the good kind[Constantine], and the rape-rape kind[Identity, etc]), and usually doesn’t make it out the other side of the story alive.

    Winwood pointed this out last(?) week, but he was great in Deadwood, and lived to see the end of that show, although if it wasn’t canceled who knows what would’ve happened to him.

    • He probably would have had to put on a dress and perform at the Gem for the chubby trans fetishists who Al Swearengen would have made his next mark, lot of money to be made on that front. This is a true story fact taken from the deadwood wikipedia page and livejournal pages.

  8. Clearly, the hanging zombie’s legs were chewed off by woodchucks. Circle of life.

  9. I’m going out on a limb here, but one of the biggest (valid) complaints about this show is how damn slow it is. And now Maggie (Lauren Cohan) on the show, I’m just going to recommend something: Vampire Diaries is a good show & the story moves at a clip. Ignore the dumb name & Twilight-teen angst expectations, give it a try.

    Also ladies & interested guys: so many topless men (wait did I just undercut my own sell? NEVER MIND, just try it)
    Plus Ian Somerhalder gives good smolder. (RIP Boone)

  10. I think every show should hire its biggest fan as a consultant to prevent weird inconsistencies and slip ups like the hair grooming thing.

    I mean, T-Dog’s hair has been closely cropped for how long now? He should definitely have an afro.

    And Darryl has been retrieving his arrows in every episode until this one. Why is it all of a sudden a waste of an arrow to shoot a hanging zombie? I’m pretty sure after killing The Literal Walking Dead, it’s not much of an inconvenience to climb a very medium-sized tree for Arrows That Are In Limited Supply And Also Very Valuable.

    I watch this show because there’s nothing else like it on and I enjoy this kind of thing, but I’m just so frustrated.

    And no more dialogue about/flashbacks to things that happened a long time ago – and were unimaginably insipid THEN – that are supposed to be characterization, but are mainly just so boring and pointless I hope all the characters die.

  11. All i could think the whole time while Shane was cutting his hair:
    “What brand of clippers are those?”

    • This is a microcosm of these two shows. On Breaking Bad, when Walt shaves his head it really does signify an important character shift. It was exciting and scary to see him change. On The Walking Dead, Shane shaves his head, but on this show it’s dramatically flat on top of being illogical.

      Speaking of things being illogical, some might consider Gabe’s recap to be nitpicky, but I think details are important. When a bunch of little things – like hot water, or sandwiches, or zombies eating other zombies – start to add up, it gives the whole setting a feeling of being false. Worse, it says some of the creative minds behind this show don’t really understand the environment they’ve created. And that’s a problem if their goal is to make a good TV show.

      Lastly, how bad was Glen’s character written yesterday? One minute he can’t keep his boner down, the next minute he’s on the porch talking about the power of prayer with the girl who gave him the boner? Whaaaa? That is not how real human beings interact.

  12. Shane Broke Bad! Shaved head and all.

    • If Shane starts cooking meth with Glen that would make this show 100 times better. Perhaps they could cook up some zombie blue meth that turns everyone back to normal, except they are addicted to meth.

  13. I hate that I think this much about this, but I’m guessing that the tree hanging zombie got his leg meat eaten while he was still human.

    • Before he hung himself though? I’d assume it was after, so he was dead, and he was infected, so he was, technically, TECHNICALLY, a zombie. So the point why the zombies just don’t eat each other stands.

      • No see he hangs himself just as a pack of roving zombies comes by. So he’s not quite dead but not quite zombie. He “dies” while they’re eating him, comes back as zombie with no legs and the whole zombie eating zombies thing explained away…ta-dah!

        • Oh thank god we got all that sorted out!

        • but he left a note saying he got bit before he hung himself. so he died an infected human, than came back a zombie after the hanging.

          also, zombies move slowly, so hopefully he would’ve seen a pack of zombies coming after writing his note and would’ve thought “hm, hanging myself is a slow death, these oncoming walkers could eat my legs! this is a horrible idea!”

          but then again, this show makes no sense.

        • But if that’s true, why didn’t the zombies eat the people who were in the cars in the traffic jam? They must have been almost dead for a while, and rather easy to get to. Most of those didn’t seem infected at all, just dead. Which, you know, happens when you get stuck in a traffic jam. You DIE!

          At this point, I would accept 10 minutes of awful exposition from a Zombiologist (guest starring Matthew Frewer) who just explains all of this so it makes some kind of sense. The Zombiologist can even turn into a zombie soon after (irony!) and get killed. Or Shane can just shoot him in the face before he turns into a zombie.

          To liven things up, perhaps Shane can just go around shooting everyone, zombie or not?

  14. I like how you call him the fat guy that is exactly what I said every time he was on screen

  15. This episode was something of an improvement, but damn they couldn’t slow the pace down any more than they possibly are. Everything that has happened in the first three episodes should have just been episode 1s hour and a half premiere. And it is bothering me how frivolous these people are with food and supplies. Its the damn apocalypse, slow down. This show seems to quickly be pulling a Heroes, where you have a fantastic on point first season, and then have the following seasons just kind of stumble around with characters we don’t care about and off subject (ZOMBIE-SUBJECT) Storylines. I could really care less about the little girl or the woman who wants to kill herself at this point. MOVE ON SHOW!

    • Agreed! Like, there are so many ways to kill yourself, Andrea! I mean, you don’t just have to use a gun! Improvise, lady!! And I know it’s not like she ACTUALLY wants to commit suicide, otherwise she would have DONE IT ALREADY, but my LORD they are dragging this whole thing out and who even cares anymore? Any small nugget of interesting characterization that she may have had early on has been wiped away by all her whining and moping around!

      • You know what would make this show good? If Carl died during surgery, then in the middle of the operation sat up and grabbed a scalpel and killed the doctor, and then killed his mom or dad, and then the surviving parent had to shoot him in the head. THAT IS HOW HORROR WORKS. But this show doesn’t have the guts.

        I’m thinking basement. I’m thinking trowel.

        • That would be awesome. And that little girl that no one cares about comes out of the woods and she’s a zombie and eats everybody.

          • Yes. I mean, if your show is about a girl going missing who no one cares about, then who cares? If your show is about a kid who people are supposed to care about getting hurt, and his family hopes he pulls through — and then he pulls through… well, that’s a Lifetime movie, not a horror show! (Oy, it’s not even a drama!)

    • Agreed. It is way too early in the zombie apocalypse for people to be slumming it this hard. “Oh boo, my life’s not perfect. Let’s leisurely hang out on a freeway for DAYS and ruminate all about it.”

      Kid drama as plot is what’s really fucking up this show’s momentum. Where’s the girl?! Carl’s been shot?! CARL’S BEEN SHOT! At least in the comics Kirkman wasn’t shooting kids until a few years into its run. The first scene of the pilot has Grimes shooting a kid. SHOOT ALL THE KIDS ALREADY AND GET A MOVE ON.

      • Remember in season 1? when they were little more than props the kids? and it was a show for Adults?

      • This wouldn’t make MUCH sense, though at this point who cares, but I’ve been wondering if maybe that girl was kidnapped by this farmhouse family? And that maybe the shooting of “Carl” wasn’t an accident? I haven’t quite worked out what sinister (read:ridiculous) reason the farmhouse family would have for doing this, but it wouldn’t surprise me.

      • Um, Carl got shot in the comics. This storyline happened in the comics. Granted, it was only one issue, and then they moved on, but still.

    • i agree! i find myself HOPING that she’ll just friggen do it to it already and stop being so damn annoying! go home to be with your sister, andrea. you’re driving the viewing audience insane.

  16. All these cold open flashback/flash-forwards really beg the question: WHEN is the farmhouse?

    • I hope they find a hatch in the next episode.

      • Then we’d have to wait another entire season before they open it? No thanks!

      • CDC = Hatch (so far. There may be an even hatchier hatch in the future).

        • lol, good point. But I did love the CDC episode, oh so much. Nothing of that sort this season. Replace all that cool post-apocolypse science zombie stuff with explosions with people crying for 3 straight episodes… ugh.

          • It’s funny because it seems like we’re coming from diffferent sides of the issue, while both being beside ourselves with the current subject matter. I have no interest in the science of zombies (other than the rules of zombie-ism). I read the comics, and in the comics no matter what, when you die you zombify. No bites necessary (although they are extremely toxic and will kill you. If I had a flow chart I would pull it out). That’s all I need to know.

            So far, the show is all over the place with its zombiology. The guy at the CDC thinks it’s a virus, transmitted through the bites and blood.There are dead people sitting in traffic jams, there are dead hanging zombies getting eaten by other zombies (which isn’t out of the question, zombies have also eaten horses and varmints, they’ll eat whatever, but still), zombies are picking up rocks and hopping fences then they’re not (decomposing flesh and rigor mortis effecting motor functions? you decide). They writers have been having troubles keeping all this stuff consistent, which shouldn’t be too hard.

            Other than the zombiology of what they are capable of doing and how one becomes a zombie, I have no interest in the rest of that stuff.

            On the other side of things, I don’t want crying and explosions either. I basically want the
            comic, adapted and digested into some good drama with the settings and messages of the comic (not just thinly veiled window dressing). Seeing that they cast Glenn well, in that he is an asian man in a baseball cap, is NOT going to cut it.

            The “on the road” troubles of the gang in the comic are all about survivalist, lord-of-the-flies usurping and reprisals *cough*SHANE*cough*, a deceptively safe gated community that blows up in everyone’s faces, Hershel’s farm with its dark secrets (which the show STILL might get to, but I’m not holding my breath), and then their next “home,” which could be quite a thrill to see play out on television. But WHO THE FUCK knows when or if they’ll ever get to that, and when/if they do? Who knows if it’ll be any good at all?

            At least with this episode done, Shane’s gotten darker, Carl is fine NO DUH, and the characters are free to MOVE THE FUCK ON ALREADY-DAMMIT. I forgot about that missing girl.


  17. OK, so these Walking Dead posts have officially won the Best Thing on the Internet of the Week (an award I made up) for three straight weeks now. Even if I didn’t like this show anymore, I would need to still watch it just so I would know what Gabe is talking about when he makes fun of it every week.

  18. The cold open/flash forward both took away the suspense of “will Shane escape the high school” AND the suspense of “what’s Shane looking for as he crazily rummages through the bathroom”.

    Could someone tell the writers they aren’t REQUIRED to use cold opens like Breaking Bad does? Just show a zombie – any zombie – getting shot in the face. It’s always welcome, and it would be an improvement.

    • So basically Six Feet Under the opening but instead of showing people dying show zombie’s getting dropped. Sounds good to me.

    • I posted almost the exact same thing in another forum. Instead of watching the Zombie High escape wondering what would happen, I did a crossword puzzle. It’s called dramatic tension and someone on this shows writing staff needs to LOOK IT UP.

    • Yea, there was no need for that to be shown in the beginning…it’s not like I was thinking “Oh I guess this is before the whole zombie thing happened”. You could tell it was at the farmhouse, and the clothes he was going to put on looked dirty and there was a gun…foreshadowing that event just kind of ruined it toward the end because then you knew something bad happened and he was upset over something.

  19. Is there a separate child zombie dimension somewhere out there? Aside from the little girl zombie Grimes kills in the first episode of the show, I can’t remember seeing another kid zombie. Where are they? Are they the chicken wings of the zombie world and were all consumed with a nice side of blue cheese dressing soon after society broke down? Maybe they’re all in the farm house basement, furiously pedaling on exercise bikes hooked up to a generator so Shane can have his emo shower. For some reason, all the zombies in the greater Atlanta area are in the sought-after 18-34 demographic. Show me the kid zombies!

  20. Am I a horrible person for laughing during the scene where Darl had the seizure? I thought it was kind of sad because he’s just a kid, but it just looked so funny

  21. The only thing that interested me about Grimes boring recap of Shane’s high school exploits, was the completely extraneous detail that the chickens were Rhode Island Reds (the state bird of Rhode Island).

  22. While I’m thinking about it:
    For those of you familiar with the comics, AS WELL as those who have read the occasional comment from a Walking Dead reader talking about a character called Michonne- I have something to say to both of those groups…

    For those who know who Michonne is-
    She’s not a savior of the property. She won’t be making the current show any better. They’ll muck her up with weird faux-drama like every other character currently going through their weird faux-drama.

    For those who don’t know who Michonne is-
    She’s not a savior of the property. She won’t be making the current show any better. They’ll muck her up with weird faux-drama like every other character currently going through their weird faux-drama.

    The best, most iconic scene Michonne has going for her is her introduction to the reader (which was also the same subject matter of the first cover she appeared on). If they do that properly in the show then at least the fans and viewers’ll have that.

    But seriously, story-wise if they introduce her in the show around the time she was introduced in the comics (and they should), and at the show’s current pace? Woo-boy, we’ve got A WHILE to wait until she shows up.

  23. The death of one able bodied seemingly nice man who knew how to use a gun was totally worth the life of a useless dying child with no place in a zombie apocalyptic wasteland even though it did seem like the zombies were moving pretty slow and they could have both gotten away. Now one man is dead, the little girl is still missing and Carl is still bed-ridden for god knows how long. Oh well good job Shane!

  24. “this kid better be worth it”

  25. I can’t believe two episodes later we’re still talking about that deer.

    Lori: Let Carl die! It’s a nightmare world!


  26. I don’t know how no one has mentioned this yet–maybe because they have a better understanding of zombie behaviour than I–but zombies will eat a very-recently deceased body, right? Like one they saw die right in front of them? Because if so, WHY DID SHANE SHOOT THE FAT MAN IN THE LEG? I mean, Shane! Shoot him in the head! Why leave him alive, why make him suffer so? Do you enjoy his screams, do they give you a boner? OH GOD THE FAT MAN’S SCREAMS GAVE SHANE A BONER.

  27. I just don’t know you guys.

    At least something happened? It was pretty awesome when that fat dude got eaten.

    I am developing the opinion that this show has two main problems:

    1) The pacing is WAY TOO SLOW. The characters spend all their time recounting things that the audience watched happen (massive waste of the audience’s time!) over and over because NOTHING ELSE HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

    2) Every single character’s behavior is determined by what will advance the plot (and LORD the writers are running a long con here). Sure, they adhere to basic archetypes and have random pointless anecdotes to shore up this “characterization”, but in the end their decisions are dictated by what propels the plot forward. This includes the zombies.

    Ahhh this show makes me so angry but I love zombies and I WANT it to be good. I’m pretty sure I said this last season but for the love of Jesus, hire a story editor.

  28. I was surprised how happy I was when Carl stopped breathing. I thought the show was finally going to get some deep interesting crisis going on, dead child and missing probably dead child. The closest to a reality of a zombie apocalypse I can imagine. Children are dead weight, they would be easily killed but no. They gave us a seizure and a last second miraculous save.

    Everything else, holy shit it’s boring.

  29. It was a bit odd when he said to Rick that if he gave anymore blood he’d be in a coma and he said “shut-up you’re wasting time” and forced Dr. Vet to give his blood to Carl. Then he was all fine and lifting him up and not even approaching a coma state.

  30. Guys, Videogum in general and the weekly “Walking Dead” recap in particular are the main reasons why I use the Internet. To what Jimmy M. said about how boring this show is, I must add that TWD has been boring and actually intelligence-insulting from the very first scene (after the kid-shooting, which has never been placed in time or space): When Shane and Grimes are talking in the police car, eating fries or whatever, Shane tells a completely uninteresting, misogynistic, and also nonsensical “anecdote” about women leaving lights on and so they’re dumb bitches etc. Having lived in the actual world and been in relationships with living women, I can tell you that this is insane and backwards and indicative from the get-go of how inattentive to detail TWD is. Fuck, I hate this show, and I LOVE zombies (my real name is Sean Hoade, and I teach a college class on the undead bastards). Anyway, thanks for making my cable internet bill worthwhile.

  31. What I mean about the BS convo between Shane and Grimes is that women are usually seen as the more fastidious gender. It would be cool if this were some kind of counterargument or amusing contrariness, but no, TWD has Shane say it like EVERYBODY KNOWS HOW THEM MESSY BITCHES BE.

  32. I’m betting that Lori is pregnant with Shane’s baby. That’s why she’s such a nutcase.

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