Grinnell College in Iowa has designated a couple of floors in one of its dormitories “gender neutral” at the request of their transgendered students. Obviously, that shit is just TOO MUCH for the gang at FOX and Friends (OUR generation’s The Today Show, I’m sure). Stop! Stop! Gretchen Carlson is going to break a rib! Oh, it’s too hilarious. Apparently? I mean, it’s true that these shiny pieces of human garbage can’t stop laughing, and at one point they have to stop the “reporting” because one of the cameramen is laughing? Cool cameraman. I feel like at this point in my life I know a thing or two about jokes, and I definitely don’t get it. Let’s go back over it: a group of marginalized college students, during their transition into adulthood after an entire life of self-doubt, discomfort, and social ostracization, decided that they would like to create an area on campus in which they could live in peace and feel safe and accepted in their own living quarters? No, that is fucking hilarious. Of course, after covering the facts of this story between coughs (COUGHfaggotsCOUGH), the gang at FOX and Friends gets serious for a second to engage in what has to be the most complicated performance of facetious, fear-mongering AND hate-mongering, anti-logical rhetoric that I’ve ever seen:

Like, OK, it’s one thing to hate gay, lesbian, and transgendered people. Most of us do. They’re so gross! But, I LOOOOOOOOVE it when Steve Doocey creates an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE in which his daughter is suddenly NOT going to Boston University, but is instead going to Grinnell University in Iowa, and on top of that, she has somehow ended up on one of the gender neutral dorm floors even though those rooms are usually given out BY REQUEST, and she ends up TAKING A SHOWER IN A SHOWER NEXT TO A SHOWER WHERE A MAN IS TAKING A SHOWER. Steve Doocey would NOT like that. You know the completely made up and entirely impossible scenario that he just made up in his boring but fevered brain? Yeah, no way, Jose. Don’t even think about making his daughter fill out the lengthy college transfer paperwork and then also forge her name onto a document requesting placement on the gender neutral dorm floor and then also somehow be a man who may or may not even have any interest in women but probably not based on everything else we know and who might even have a lot deeper issues with his sexuality at this point than even knowing what he wants taking a shower next to Steve Doocey’s precious daughter. Get out of town! What’s next? GENDER NEUTRAL DOGS MARRYING SNAKES IN THE SHOWER? (Via EqualityMatters.)

Comments (64)
  1. Go fuck yourselves, Fox and Friends.

  2. “We won’t laugh at Hank Williams Jr’s very appropriate golf match analogy, but we will laugh at this.” – fox and friends

    • though at some point, you know Doocey will draw the connection, namely between the smooth golf balls used in the golf match analogy, and the smooth golf balls being lathered up in the shower next to his daughter.

  3. Is it just me or is the whole ‘showering next to’ people thing just not a thing?

    ‘Showering with’ on the other hand is what the college experience is all about.

  4. “Showering next to the opposite sex is an affront to clean living and thoroughly unamerican. When I was in college, I lived with guys, showered with guys and slept in the same room as guys and I loved every minute of it!.” — Steve Doocey.

  5. There are so many crazy things said in that clip, it’s difficult to decide which to zero in on.

    However, I would like to point out that their idea of normal people was clips of deranged, screaming, and likely morning-drunk people. Normal because they were presumably straight.

  6. The only people making a controversy out of this are these ignorant jackholes, not the students who would live in such a gender neutral facility.

  7. You have to appreciate the purity of vision at Fox and Friends. They just do not give 1/100 of a percent of a shit if anyone outside of their target audience finds them appealing or persuasive.

  8. I like how that lady keeps a straight face when she says she hates it that one little tiny percentage of society changes everything just for the sake of a few people.

  9. “everythings changing, just as a result of a few people” – gretchen carlson

    “never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. indeed it is the only thing that ever has.” – margaret mead

  10. Gretchen Carlson looks like Bruce McCulloch in Kids In The Hall: Brain Candy. I know I’ve said it before, and I don’t care, I’m saying it again.

  11. Grinnell College is in Iowa :D

  12. These withered old rutabagas are laughing on the outside but quietly dying on the inside as they dream up wistful college fuck fantasies involving the baseball team and steamy showers. Fuck on, Fox & Friends!

  13. The footage of the amped up frat boys made me wince because their date rapey-ness was so palpable.

  14. You mean that after a college implemented a measure to make minority and marginalized students feel safer on campus, more of those kinds of kids decided to go to that school? Outrageous! It’s just too much!

  15. If I know anything about Boston University (read: any college), then Steve Doocey’s daughter is doing more than taking a shower next to a man taking a shower, if you know what I mean (and Gretchen Carlson clearly knows what I mean).

    • “You could have a man in the shower, next to my daughter” – Steve Doocey
      “Or in THAT shower if all the other heads are taken” – Other Guy
      Gross, Other Guy, gross.

  16. “First there were co-ed dorms, which I thought was pretty edgy.” -America’s Dad

  17. I like to imagine that there is a bizarro Videogum in which this is presented similarly to “Tim and Eric were on Conan” and people have a good laugh in the comments and post Jeff Dunham gifs in the open threads and the caption contest pictures are all this:

    That’s what I like to imagine.

  18. My college had co-ed bathrooms, and I turned out fine.

  19. “Dudes, we are SO getting laid on the gender-neutral floor tonight!!!” -Grinnell University Frat Guy

  20. Grinnell is in Iowa :)

  21. “Excuse me honey, your bra is covering my socks. I have a game later”


    and also, WHAT?!

  22. Just a little fact-checking – from desmoinesregister.com:

    “The rooms include straight males and females living together, although those who self-identify as transgender are given priority, which includes five this fall.”

    So no, not 18% of students self-identify as trans, Gretchen. Not even 5% of students. Just 5 students.

    I bet you guys are like “I’m so shocked that Fox & Friends would say something misleading!”

    • Yeah, I noticed that too. She went from saying “it went up 18%” to “18% of students are trans-gendered” in the span of, like, five seconds. Either she is not very smart or she does not think that we are very smart.

  23. “Gender neutrality = Orgy” – Fox and Friends

  24. fucking cunts. all of ‘em.

    • sexual orientation as a trend? how about society is now more open to homosexuals coming out. how about people don’t have to hide who they really are behind some facade just to make you more comfortable. how about homosexuality has been going on since the dawn of time and just because it makes you uncomfortable doesn’t mean that it’s a trend or a fashion. how about you shut the fuck up. how about just…ugggh, fuck these fools so hard.

  25. There’s no need to worry about showering next to someone as long as you know the Katherine Chloe Cahoon defense method. All you need is a pink towel and your fiercest attack look (provided you cheer so you know you can kick high, hard, and fast).

  26. “[Transgenders are] en vogue. Like bellbottoms.”
    -FOX News

    That is a real thing that was said.

    They better get paid in monopoly money.

  27. They are stunted. Emotionally and intellectually stunted. They are angry, stubborn, selfish, superficial, brash, and cruel. They are like children are when children are at their worst. Reason and empathy eventually move kids past the cruel, irrational behavior. With little of either, it’s not hard to see why the folks at Fox never grew up.

  28. I’d just like to point out that Steve Doocey said his daughter is attending Boston College, not Boston University. As a gradate of BU, I am obligated to inform you that BC SUCKS.
    Oh and Fox & Friends sucks. We really should stop paying attention to anything that comes out of their mouths at this point.

    • Unless it is a documentary about how the Fox HR department performs an obligatory oral brainectomy before their first appearance on screen.

      I’d pay attention to that.

  29. Brian – Listen, oh there’s also been a reaction from the heterosexual students from around the country. Can we see that?

    Gretchen – OH WAIT – THE MAJORITY HAVE A VOICE. WHAT DO THEY SAY??

    F*ken BIGOTTED BITCH. I hope she got reprimanded for voicing her bigotted views out loud. Better still if she was sacked!

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