Eddie Murphy is on the cover of this month’s Rolling Stone in light of the runaway success of the forward-thinking payment plan in which you can pay 60 dollars to watch Tower Heist in your home instead of going to the movie theater like a human being. (That is not true. They canceled this idea. But what an idea! The future just kidding!) Also he is hosting this year’s Oscars. And also he is Eddie Murphy. Look, there’s plenty of reasons for him to be in a magazine and I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn and combative about it. Anyway, in a teaser for what you will learn about Eddie Murphy in the article, Rolling Stone posted the following to their website:

Murphy has decided not to make Beverly Hills Cop IV. “They’re not doing it,” he says. “What I’m trying to do now is produce a TV show starring Axel Foley’s son, and Axel is the chief of police now in Detroit. I’d do the pilot, show up here and there. None of the movie scripts were right; it was trying to force the premise. If you have to force something, you shouldn’t be doing it. It was always a rehash of the old thing. It was always wrong.”

There is nothing more natural and less forced than turning Beverly Hills Cop into a television show 100 years after the fact, and having Eddie Murphy do occasional cameos as the chief of police of Detroit when it suits him. Follow your bliss, girl. There are no rules in art! Water always finds its level. Of course, if we’re ever going to see this free verse poem of a TV show become a reality, we’re going to need to cast someone as Eddie Murphy’s son. But who?

Jaden Smith
This young actor is very hot right now. Most of his work has been in movies, but lots of actors are making that jump these days and surely the right TV project could win him over to the small screen, especially a starring role like this in a famous franchise. Besides, he’s hilarious, probably. Who cares.

Willow Smith
This young singer is so hot right now. It would be a little bit of a twist to have a tough as nails cop who doesn’t play by the book but who is also a girl, you know? She’s brassy AND adorkable. Eddie Murphy would always be throwing the book at her, but then later they would make up, because he’s her dad. Each week she could perform a new original song, like an updated version of the wildly popular and almost impossibly successful show Cop Rock.

It’s a crowded field, but hopefully they’ll cast the right person in the role. What’s not up for debate, of course, is the show’s theme music, which is ready 2 go.

Great show. Can’t wait. Gonna need a bigger DVR, etc.

Comments (38)
  1. Neither of them. Eddie Murphy is going to play his own son, in addition to his own wife, his own mother, and a barber.

  2. Eddie Murphy can be even lazier about it and get Jay Pharaoh to play Eddie Murphy as the chief.

  3. DONALD FUCKING GLOVER.

    • i upvoted this in haste, but really this would probably take him away from community for a likely garbage show or a definitely not as good show so NOT DONALD GLOVER

  4. That video really takes me back. To 2005. When my roommate spent a week painting out Crazy Frog’s genitals.

  5. I’m glad Eddie Murphy is only going to make an occasional cameo. That’ll free up more time for him to work on the Norbit series that TBS just picked up.

  6. this is the third best thing to ever happen to nick cannon’s career.

  7. Thanks Gabe. I’d almost forgotten about my favorite freaked out, rave nightmare version of Axel F. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REMINDING ME THAT SONG EXISTS.

  8. That Eddie Murphy look-a-like they hired on SNL recently. whats his name? Kenan Thompson…

  9. Let’s replace Axel Foley with Keith Mars. And have the show be about his daughter Veronica.

  10. So all this Axel Foley talk reminds me of a period in my life where when I was out at a bar and girls asked me what I did for a living, as a joke I’d say that I was independently wealthy because my father wrote “Axel F.”

    This was all well and good until I met a girl who said “Jan Hammer is your father!” and rather than give up the ghost, I continued along with it. She asked me what my first name was again, and because I can’t resist a vague pun and I knew I had to sound European, I said my first name was Niels. So for the rest of the night, Niels Hammer had to regale the group with tales about his father, Jan and how Michael Mann was a terror to work with on Miami Vice.

    • This is one of my favorite stories ever. So great. It totally tops the time I went to a strip club and my friend told the girls I was a priest and then I had to live that lie.

      • I’m not so sure it does. You must regale us with that tale some time.

        • Unfortunately the girls all became terrified of me. We had stilted conversations where they stood with arms folded and nodded solemnly at everything I said. There was a German girl who kept asking if she was a horrible person and if I hated her. This was not sexy. I ended up having to tell her she was not hated and I didn’t judge her, and that she had to be true to the heart God gave her and as long as she worked here with honesty then it would not be a burden on her soul. But, I said, don’t spend your whole life here. She nodded, arms folded, and looked like she just wanted to cease existing. I left after 40 minutes. I have never felt so sober in the presence of nude ladies.

          SFLW’s life as Niels Hammer was a lot more fun!

    • My favorite lie that I ever got away with was when I convinced someone that the after hours club I took her to was a holdover from the prohibition days.

      This was in Italy.

    • I wonder if Harold Faltermeyer ever gets furious for being cofused with Jan Hammer?

  11. aziz ansari

    treatyoself.gif

  12. Michael Cera, he has the appropriate number of sweatshirts.

  13. wait, Axel Foley ends up being chief of police? then who’s going to ask him for his badge every episode? what is this bullshit? Did Eddie Murphy even SEE Beverly Hills Cop?

  14. from one Axel to another (Axl)

  15. It’s obvious Eddie Murphy couldn’t do Beverly Hills Cop IV, he has to leave his schedule open for The Adventures of Pluto Nash 2.

  16. I love how in this music video they fully acknowledge how their song is the most annoying thing ever.
    #Proudoftheirwork

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.