Guys, believe me when I say that music is important. It’s the universal language! I don’t actually know what means, and it sounds like it’s probably false. The universe is huge. There’s got to be something out there that is like “Music? Don’t speak it.” But it’s basically the universal language. Human beings have been making and enjoying it forever and we all love to listen to it and talk about it. Well, at least we used to anyway. That’s all over now. We have found the last song, and it is called “Pizza Party,” of course. Sometimes people will say that music is dead because they hear something so awful that it seems like humankind has passed some sort of irrevocable turning point beyond which we are nothing. That’s not what I’m saying at all. This is a celebration, bitches! Music is over and we don’t need any more songs because we found the best one! They say that life is a journey, not a destination, but it turns out that’s not true. Life is a destination. DESTINATION PIZZA PARTY!

It’s been a fun ride, this whole music thing, but I’m glad it’s over if this is how it ends. We got that butter sauce! (Thanks for the tip, Jordan.)

Comments (52)
  1. 1017 Brick Oven Squad*

    *This joke would play better at Stereogum

  2. How could there NOT be a lyric about going HAM? Rare miss, FaceGang 2

  3. Me suddenly so hungey.

  4. I didn’t make it to the end. Do they ever say, “Me so hungy, me so hungy”?

  5. Pitchfork gave Pizza Party a 9.2 and declared it Best New Music. They wrote: Pizza Party, with its homages to the violent guitar riffs of Jem and the Holograms, the dubstep beats of Jesse and the Rippers, and the unapologetic bombast of Sexual Chocolate — exits the void of what we *expect* from Italian food and instead delivers a gaseous, carb-laden, meat pile that any of us would be proud to call home.

  6. This is a marked improvement over Herman Cain’s last ad.

  7. On the contrary, this is the best song about treating a piece of pizza like a piece of pussy that I have ever heard.

  8. Before watching this, I thought I really liked pizza. Like, really liked pizza, you know? But now I understand, I have barely scratched the surface of liking pizza. When I was a child, I liked pizza as a child; I liked but a poor reflection, through a pizza darkly.

  9. There’s a joke about this:

    Somewhere, but I’m not as funny as you guys, so go ahead and make it for me (all of us, really.)

  10. This wins all of the Grammy Awards of my heart.

  11. If OFWGKTA released this Pitchfork would probably make it their number 1 track of the year, or at least they should.

  12. Hey Walter White, what did you think of this song?

  13. I already hate how many people are going to send me this, thinking it’s clever.

  14. Did I mention I like to dance?

  15. so, i legitimately enjoyed that song. i like hip hop but sometimes have difficulty relating to its content (looking at you, Clipse), but I relate to liking pizza. win win over here.

  16. Please DEAR GOD let “pies on pies” be an allusion to “snacks on snacks“. GOD PLEASE! So many layers!

    • When I lived in Chicago, I so desperately wanted Mr. Chi City to show up to a monster meetup. I have no idea why he would not come and turn down all of my handwritten invitations. But alas, his fridge was too stocked for his various nitecaps.

  17. “Pizza Party” by BEeFF is also in this funny video.

  18. I’m not saying that these guys totally ripped off my band who recorded an entire concept album about a pizza party, titled “Pizza Party”, but they totally did.

  19. As long as we’re talking about bad rap songs about unhealthy food…

  20. I don’t now what it is, but pizza humor gets me every time.

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