I’m not usually one to get overwhelmed by the mention of a robot. (This also happens to be the first sentence of my futuristic re-imagining of Notes from Underground.) Compared with Gabe, who has a well-known fear of a robot uprising, I’d like to think that I take a calmer and more understanding approach. I’ve grown up with robots and, really, have barely known a world without them. The thought that they could someday become self-aware — or even just malfunction — and go on a bloody, nightmare killing spree seemed kind of laughable before. Please. Robots? You mean, MY FRIENDS? Lighten up. Or as my friends say, “Cool your bolts.” But, with time and age come a deeper understanding of certain things. Certain things like robot uprisings and how I THINK MAYBE GABE WAS RIGHT TO BE WORRIED AND THAT THE ROBOT UPRISING HAS ACTUALLY BEGUN?! WE HAVE WASTED WAY TOO MUCH TIME TRYING TO CONVINCE OURSELVES THAT IT HAS NOT BEGUN AND THAT ROBOTS ARE OUR FRIENDS! THERE IS NOWHERE TO HIDE! WE’VE INCORPORATED THEM INTO EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIVES AND TAUGHT THEM ALL THE NECESSARY SKILLS THEY NEED TO END OUR TIME ON THE PLANET. GOD BLESS ALL OF US AND HAVE MERCY. IN STRIVING FOR GREATNESS AND A WAY TO MAKE COOKIES AND GET KETCHUP WITHOUT HAVING TO DO IT OURSELVES, WE HAVE DOOMED OUR SPECIES AND OUR SOULS. WE WILL ALL DIE ASHAMED.

DID YOU SEE HOW IT STOPPED THE BICYCLE WITH ITS LITTLE ROBOT LEG? THAT WAS ADORABLE. I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW CUTE THAT WAS. IT’S JUST A ROBOT, I DIDN’T THINK ROBOTS COULD BE THAT CUTE. DON’T GET ME WRONG I DEFINITELY STILL THINK WE’RE ALL GOING TO GET MURDERED SOON BECAUSE IF ROBOTS CAN RIDE BICYCLES IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THEY’RE RIDING THEM INTO YOUR HOME TO KILL YOU, BUT AT LEAST IT WILL BE JUST THE CUTEST THING. LOVE YA TINY ‘BOTS! SEE YOU IN HELL! (Thanks for the tip, Funtastik.)

Comments (22)
  1. Oh my goodness the waving! We’re all going to die the cutest deaths.

  2. but can it go BACKWARDS?!

  3. Quick! Everybody hide all of the old people’s medicine!

  4. All that advance technology and that little bastard still manages to throw my newspaper in the bushes.

  5. I was mistaken earlier. Now my Christmas shopping is done.

  6. Today they’re learning to ride bicycles. Tomorrow they’ll be getting stripped of their victories in the Tour de France for using performance enhancing batteries. And the cycle continues (no pun intended, even though it kinda works).

  7. next season on How to Fake it In America…

  8. I keep picturing him on this bicycle in France with a little basket on the front that is full of baguettes. He could be wearing a little beret and saying things like “Bonjour, meatbags!”

  9. I am personally more afraid that the friendship I share with robots ending like Fox & Hound. Robots! Our friendship is meant to be! We can’t let the world tear us apart! Never! HUG ME ROBOT AND SAY WE WILL BE FRIENDS FOREVER.

    I think I may have been scarred by Fox & Hound.

  10. Wear a helmet, robot!

  11. 2014 Patient: Excuse me nurse, where is my surgeon?

    Nurse: Oh it’ll be here shortly, it forgot its helmet…..Here, have a Street King while you’re waiting.

  12. Videogum presents a sneak peek at Real Steel, starring Hugh Jackman.

  13. I’ve got a bike you can ride it if you like it’s got a basket, a bell that rings, holy shit a robot

  14. Bicycle Robot I love you
    love is forever fan love you

  15. The government attempts to creat a more efficient bicycle thief.

  16. A Notes From Underground joke that involves robots? Don’t kill me, Kelly. I didn’t know that was exactly what I wanted, but I got it.

  17. I wasn’t worried until I tried to stop the video to leave a comment, but my computer wouldn’t let me. It just sat there, waving the beach ball of death in my face, much like the littlest robot was waving his little tiny arm. They’re teaming up against us now and I’m officially afraid.

  18. Am I the only one that is absolutely terrified of robots and machines??? I was probably one of the last people to ever buy an iPod cause I was terrified it would find a way to stab me in the ears with an app.

  19. it would definately do a better job than my current paper boy.

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