After the jump, watch a preview clip from an upcoming educational cartoon about becoming a businessman starring Jay-Z and Warren Buffet. Neat! (The video is set to start playing automatically so headphones UP.) As you will see, Jay-Z really sounds like he phoned it in on this one. And I don’t mean that in the colloquial sense of being lazy and doing a bad job, I mean that he literally sounds like he is on a telephone. Probably leaving a voicemail? I wonder how many takes it took to get this scene just right, and by takes I mean voicemails. (Apparently one fewer voicemail than it would have required to have his character actually invite the children into the office.) Not that it’s entirely Jay-Z’s fault. I mean, we can all agree that the content is at least partly responsible. It’s hard to bring the character of yourself to life when it is in a cartoon in which a group of children has wandered into the hallways of your skyscraper because…Warren Buffet “punked” them…and then you wrap your arms around them and teach them all about how great being a businessman is by saying something to the effect of “it’s great being a businessman.” Sure. The ghost of Mel Blanc is like “lemme at ‘em. Now put ‘em up, put ‘em uuuuuup!”

Of course, we still do not know whether Warren Buffet is as good or better at voice acting than Jay-Z. We will find out, though! (Via Jonbershad.Tumblr.)

Comments (24)
  1. This cartoon is made even better by the fact that it’s preceded by an advertisement for the unrated version of Bad Teacher. For the children!

  2. I just assume he was so disinterested in what he had to say that he delivered as unnaturally as possible. That or he was trying a super experimental, multi-rhythm talk flow for the voice acting. Hov is nothing if not an innovator.

  3. At least he doesn’t need Russell Simmons to speak for him. Oh wait, now I get it, Kanye just wanted to make the eventual kids cartoon version of Occupy Wall Street that much cheaper.

  4. “No, Jay, those are stage directions. You don’t read those! God, really? Is this some kind of dumb joke that a blog commentator or would make? I mean, it’s hardly original, and frankly, lazy, if it is indeed a joke. Alright Jay, let’s take it from the top…”

  5. I can’t watch the video, but does he tell the children that the quickest way to make a million is by selling drugs. Or is nobody supposed to mention that anymore.

  6. “First you get the money, then you get the cash and hos.”
    -Jay-Z, businessman

  7. More like Lay-Z.*

    *I’ve been laid up with the flu for the past week, so you’re only going to get like 40% FLW today.

  8. Jay-Z’s tips for being a businessman:

    1. Start by selling an illegal and highly addictive product that your customers will do literally anything to get more of. It literally sells itself!
    2. Have a special talent that catapults you to international fame and makes you a millionaire.
    3. Use your millions of dollars and name recognition to invest in a variety of businesses almost certain to succeed because of said name recognition.

    Easy tips that can work for literally anyone!

  9. Businessman Jay-Z’s got a 99% problem.

  10. the cartoonists should have probably done a little more to make Jay-Z look less like a comic book villain if they expect kids to listen to him.

  11. You crazy for this one Disney!

  12. I like that song. Do you guys like that song?

  13. Listen kids. The key is not to be a businessman, but a business, man. Get it? GET IT??????????

  14. Wait, you can skateboard in the Statue of Liberty? I need to know… I’m packing for my trip right now. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

  15. In the music studio they have better effects to cover up the fact that he phones it in regularly.

    Have you heard the Otis lyrics? I would say they are bad, but they are basically par for the course. Can we just put him on a deserted island with his biggest fan Gwyneth already?

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