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Ugh, don’t you hate how when you go to McDonald’s there’s no TV to watch? I know, riiiiight?! I have always said that the experience of eating at a McDonald’s was almost the best experience you could have eating anywhere ever, if only there was a close circuited loop of McDonald’s specific programming playing on a grease-smeared television. Well now there will be! From the LA Times:
McDonald’s customers will soon be able to have local school sports, movie previews and heartwarming human interest stories to go with their fries — McTV is here and in high definition.
In one of the most unusual twists in niche programming, the global fast-food chain is launching the McDonald’s Channel, a digital network of exclusive original content targeted at dine-in customers. The programming will be customized to specific communities around the individual restaurants, and will include local news and entertainment features, such as spotlights on upcoming films, albums and TV shows.
Wait a second, movie previews AND heartwarming human interest stories? Cancel my TimeWarner subscription, WE’RE LIVIN’ AT MCDONALD’S! I’m not sure that I would really call this an unusual twist in niche programming. If anything, it’s weird that McDonald’s hasn’t already done this? Like, I bet you that when this is a real thing and every McDonald’s features McTV (thumbs up on this name, boys) not a single person will be like, “What? This surprises me!” Everyone will just be like “Put everything in my body, all of it. Oh look, a heartwarming human interest story.” In what is an equally usual twist in BLOGGING, we have a list of some of the upcoming shows on McTV after the jump:
- C.S.Fries
- Happy Endings Meal
- The Bernie Big Mac Show
- How I Met Your McRib
- It’s Always Milkshake In Apple Pieadelphia
- Two And A Half Dollar Menu
- The Good Hamburglar
I really hope that HBO changes their time-honored slogan to “It’s not McTV, it’s HBO.” That would be hilarious, just like these amazing made up show names that are so funny and clever and not lazy at all. Good work to me AND to the fine people at McDonald’s.
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Market research shows that the kids are really into irony these days, so they’re just going to show Top Chef reruns all day.
Ally McBeal
I don’t know about you, but all I know is that I am standing with the Avengers.
Bring back the AFL. It was just as boring as regular football, but so much easier to ignore.
I’m Lovin’ WhITney
C.S.I.B.S.
The Big Mac Theory.
Golden Archers
Goddammit, Archer Deluxe is better.
Not according to the general public.
Yes. All one upvotes of the general public. Case closed
In France they’ll probably just show Queer Eye For The Straight Fry.
I think McDonald’s is just trying to cash in on the wildly popular Human Trainwreck show that is already streaming live 24 /7 in all of its restaraunts.
I prefer Human Trainwreck Show: Denny’s. It’s more real, you know? You can tell that they’re there to win, not to make friends.
McGriddle World
Everyone Loves Ronald
Big Mac Love
I heard they’re going to change the names of characters in popular TV shows.
Detective McNuggety
Christopher Moltisandwich
Sookie Babybackhouse
Eh, strike that last one, make it Sookie Snackhouse.
Robot Chicken McNugget
It’s Always McSunny in Fattydelphia
2 McFast 2 McFlurryous
McGyver
Everything will be directed by McG
2 Broke Grills
Grimace of Cakes
McKids Say The Darnedest Things
$#*! My Dad Eats
Six Feet Under a Giant Pile of McGriddles
Cakewalk Empire
To Catch a Hamburglar
The last time I was in a McDonald’s, the TV was showing fox news. I, for one, welcome this new age of fry-based programing.
Biggest McLoser, obviously.
Gsrden Salad State
Karma made that as embarrassing as it should be, carry on.
I’m hoping it heavily features Dan Cortese.
McD Tee Vee! I love this place!
Sesame Seed Street
The Fryer
Wheel of Diabetes
New Heart
30 Mac
The one near me plays Glenn Beck and FOX News Network ALL day on a large flat-screen…
This would be a step-up…
*Mc C Span: CongressMcmen who give you the runs…same &hit…different day
*Mr Ed: featuring Mr Ed’s nuggets
*The Rat Patrol…Employees killing rats in a McD
*Survivor Big Mac: A reality show of people locked in a McD with nothing to eat but Big Mac’s–last one alive wins
*Fantasy Island: About Nutritionists thinking they get good nutrition at Mc D’s
*To Tell the Truth”: Nutrition label show
“The Dick anda Dyke Show”: Late night McD porno
“McSoap Network”: Daytime porno for women who say they don’t watch porno
“McMayberry RFD”: Real life inner city McD complete with Don Knotts security guard and numerous Otis
drunks.
“60 McMinutes”: Andy Rooney eats at McD and has to take a &hit 60 mins later…lives to talk about it.
“McLifetime Movie Network”: Same theme d-rated movies showing women patrons getting even with men.
“McMillan and Wife”: That was easy eh?
“The Munsters”: Various employees without face masks on or makeup.
“McCops”: Fat Cops hassling people eating at McDonalds instead of DunkinDonuts
“McDog Whisperer”: Host whispers to his burger meat hoping to bring it back to its former lifeform.
“McPickers”: Show about where employee hands have been pickin’ before they prepared your food.