Par-tay! (Via BuzzFeed.)

Comments (60)
  1. Looks like all his guests were left behind

    • looking at the ever-expanding guest list became a growing pain.

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          • Why don’t you learn to punctuate for god’s glory? God really appreciates it when his supporters don’t sound like morons in internet comment sections.

    • I hope that candle isn’t Fireproof

  2. Kirk Cameron (center) seen celebrating his birthday with his wife Chelsea (left), his daughter Isabella (right), and his best friend, God (top).

  3. no one is sitting down because it explicitly states in leviticus that no man shall sit in a seat where a menstruating woman has sat. and women should never stand in front of a man.

    as for the subway? shit, man, it’s Anytober. you expect him to pass up a $5 footlong?

  4. New commandment: Thou shalt not make up excuses to avoid attending birthday parties for thy casual acquantainces of whom thou art not particularly fond.

  5. Those two women are definitely ghosts, right? I mean, they look and stand and stare and dress like ghosts.

  6. good thing he blew out those candles! the cake isn’t fireproof.

    • first i rip off your comment, then my second comment was supposed to be a reply…that’s it…goodnight everyone, have a great weekend.

  7. “The times when you have seen only two party guests, is when I decided to hold a cooler party at the same time.” – Jesus

  8. What’s the over/under on how many embroidered throw pillows those three collectively own?

  9. i don’t know…there is something about putting a 5 dollar footlong in his mouth that makes Kirk feel like he’s sinning.

    • The lady in the doorway is looking in like, “Please let him choose the poisoned cold cut combo. Please let him choose the poisoned cold cut combo. Please let him choose the poisoned cold cut combo.”

  10. If the rapture comes on Kirk Cameron’s birthday, who will be left behind… to eat those Subway subs?

  11. there’s a surprising lack of Jesus in this photo.

  12. Kirk’s finally the coolest guy in the room.

  13. I am 100% sure the girl in the doorway is going to kill him.

  14. Are we sure this isn’t a still from Dogtooth?

  15. Why does he look like he’s about to vomit stomach acid all over that cake, like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly?

  16. That is one tacky ass room. How old is that table? Looks like some shit my grandmother has. And look at that god awful (no pun intended) carpet?!? LOL

  17. “We have but four small loaves. But how far will they go to feed so many?”

    Wow. When read in the right tone, the bible can be really sarcastic!

    • Or maybe this is the miracle in progress. They were six inch subs and people complained and Kirk Cameron turned them into footlongs.

  18. No Sun Chips? There is no God.

  19. I see cake. I see sandwiches. But no healthy side of fruit? Like, say, a banana?

  20. The party planner really blew it in the drinks department.

    • Not to gloat too much, but I like my comment because it is like a sandwich of language devices: Two counts of alliteration with a pun in between (blew, as in the candles). Also, it’s seven feet long, I think, so…party sub!

  21. I have absolutely no problem with everybody making fun of Kirk Cameron, but if I’m honest this might be the most normal I’ve ever seen a celebrity look. I mean sure it looks kind of sad, but that’s also how most of my pictures look.

  22. This doesn’t count as a celebration. Where’s Candace?

  23. Some thoughts on why this is the most depressing birthday image I have ever seen, possibly the most depressing image of any kind.
    That cake is tiny and shitty looking.
    Subway? Ugh.
    Is this a church basement? This is definitely a church basement.
    Two versions of the same miserable woman are watching him from afar with bemused expressions. Why is that woman on the left standing behind a bunch of boxes?

    I have never felt so bad for a failed actor turned crazy Christian until now.

  24. “The wish I made that there was scientific proof of God already came true.”

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