NPR catalogued each instance of a homophobic, misogynistic, xenophobic, etc., thing that happened during the first episode of Tim Allen’s new sitcom, Last Man Standing. There are a pretty reasonable amount, just kidding, not reasonable!

Comments (25)
  1. Well what did you expect, now that Wilson’s not around to keep him on the right path?

  2. It’s a good thing you didn’t rest your case, because you left out Islamophobic. It’s America’s fastest-growing phobia!

  3. Trying to figure out how to spell Tim Allen’s “arghuuaahh?” so I can get a thousand upvotes.

  4. Really putting the “tool” in Tool Man Taylor.

  5. I am assuming this is a comic reboot of the Chris Cooper sub-plot “American Beauty,” and the season finally will have Tim Allen beating Hector Elizondo to death after he spurns his advances. This, I would watch.

  6. I can’t wait for the fan fiction of this show!

    • I just Googled “Tim Allen Last Man Standing Fan Fiction” and this post was the number one result. I wasn’t aware the internet worked that quickly. Color me surprised.

      • Well that’s certainly an embarassing thing to have on your cache. On the other hand, this inspired me to create a TV show like that one where they tell people that they are horrible for having poor fashion taste, but instead of going through someone’s closet, the hosts will go through someone’s history on their web browser, and laugh at them for the terrible things they look at. Joe Rogan will host, as soon as we can teach him how to use a computer.

        • Love the idea! This week alone I’d probably make good fodder with such memorabe hits as “Chet Haze Hollywood Lyrics” “Chet Haze White and Purple Lyrics” “Chet Haze Red Solo Cup” and “Is Judge Judy Jewish?” (she is).

  7. So pretty much All in the Family, without the satire? Or failed satire? You* be the judge!

    *don’t be the judge. That would mean you have to watch it, and it frankly sounds terrible. Maybe read a book instead? Or catch up on Community? I don’t know, I don’t know your life. But there has to be something that you can do instead of this.

  8. Well when you’re the Last “Real” (White) ‘Man,’ you can’t let those people¤ think they can just take your country

    ¤Socialists, Gays, Blacks, Browns, Mexicans, ASIANS!, Women, Occupy Wall Street/Amurrka, Foreigners, Aliens, “Them” and “They” and “That One”

  9. Paul F. Tompkins was in the pilot…. I guess his family doesn’t have enough food on it.

    • Yup, that’s how jobs work.
      An acting job is an acting job.

      Paul F. Tompkins always voiced the spokes-puppet ‘Doug’ in a series of online car commercials, and guess what? They’re HILARIOUS.

      Show BUSINESS!

    • I am holding out hope that Last Man Standing is just an elaborate proxy show to give a backdoor pilot to PFT’s baby-proofer character. A far fetched dream, but a dream worth dreaming.

      Also, to those wondering about his attire- no three-piece, but a tasteful maroon blazer, blue shirt, and of course his resplendent mustache. As a maroon blazer owner myself, I felt the same surge of irrational nerd pride that I feel whenever my wardrobe aligns with PFT’s.

  10. Jonathan Taylor Thomas would never have allowed this.

  11. Is this a performance art piece? is he trying to pull an archie bunker?

  12. Finally! The feminist movement has achieved it’s overarching goal of undermining masculinity and ruining manhood for everyone!

    Seriously, between these shows and those goddamn Miller Lite commercials, I’m thinking someone should probably have a talk with men about their self esteem. And/or maybe some sitcom/commercial writers should go observe humans in the wild some time.

  13. This was from the Last Man Standing “Mans-lator” Facebook game. It also made me want to kill myself. “Where’s My Dinner Bitch 2K11″

  14. Oh god. As if I needed another reason never to leave my house again.

  15. So it’s like Whitney but for straight white men?

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