Usually, there are two types of music videos: literal and interpretive. In a literal music video, the images line up pretty closely with the lyrics, while in an interpretive music video the visuals are completely separate. (Congratulations on enrolling in and already graduating from Music Video University!) Our boy Chet Haze (#GOTCHEZZ) however has created a whole new paradigm! A music video that seems like it’s on the nose except when you think about it it makes no sense whatsoever! He will be your director and you will be his movie star but actually he is a photographer and you are a model? For TJ Maxx? Also what does wanting to “do it like they do on the big screen” even mean? Like, it lasts five seconds, involves lots of awkward cutaways, and is mostly body doubles? Is that what he means? By the time he says that he can’t wait to see you on his plasma I think even Chet Haze (#GISTCHUUUUZED) is starting to lose the thread. Good song, though. Big spins. Is it just me, or does Chet Haze look TOO comfortable in this video? Girl, you are a BLU RAY. (Thanks for the tip, Keith and dusky panther.)

Comments (38)
  1. “What do you mean? If anything I’m not wearing enough lipstick.”

  2. You forgot the third kind of video; four minutes of this:

  3. “Daaaaad, why can’t you just get the real Katherine Heigl to be in my music video?! I hate my life!!”

  4. Maybe it’s because I just ate too much pizza (#humbleswag) but this video made me feel ill. I’m not a videographer but could I say, “it had a lot of fast cuts”? is that right? cuts?

    Also: “you could be my calendar, let’s go on a date.” powerful stuff.

  5. Chet Haze sings like no man can should!

  6. #GETARKMUSICFACTORY’D

  7. Chet, you’re supposed to go H.A.M., not be a ham.

  8. His lips are so red his lips are so red HIS LIPS ARE SO RED HIS LIPS ARE SO RED

  9. This is like a fantasy sequence from a direct to streaming romcom about a guy who wants to be a photographer and snag his dreamgirl. He eventually wakes up from the fantasy staring into a vat of fryer grease at his day job and we have 85 more minutes of shitty comedy until he gets said dreamgirl and we can give it a 1 star review.

    • I’m actually quite sure that was a comedy plot of an 80s hair metal video… and the song was 300,000 times more palatable than whatever faux doo wop crap young Mr. Haze has created, even if it was by one of the lesser metal bands like White Snake or Winger. I thought Chet was a rapper. Shouldn’t he be rapping to the girl? Why is he talk-crooning? This is not very good music. It’s not even genre-appropriate.

  10. I bet Tom Hanks misses Wilson.

  11. “How can I bring up that I’m Tom Hanks’ son in a subtle enough way that will still make her want to sleep with me? Bring up movies and directing and the big screen as often as possible? Got it.”

  12. Fisher Price, My First Professional Photo-Shoot Style Camera.

    • Also, your little finger is in front of the flash.

      Also, “Hi, Chet, hi, this is the director. Yea, when you whisper in Mary’s ear, ‘Baby you’re a star’ – stop before you continue with ‘in this movie,’ because, well, I hope you know why…”

      Also, I love it when people pay actors to play paparazzi, so that they can pretend to be mad at them for taking their picture. Because that’s what famous people do. Utterly adorabale.

      • I really like it when a fake photographer rents out a studio space and takes about 5-10 shots total because that’s all they need BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL PERFECT. “Let’s print this, guys. We finally have the Jostens ad we’ve been looking for!”

  13. Yikes, clearly the acting gene didn’t get passed on to little Chester.At least he’s a good sing…Er, at least his dad is rich enough to pay for his music videos.

  14. Chet Haze will not rest until he takes home all the ladies he photographs for the JC Penny holiday catalog!

  15. Listen, Chet…it’s like, okay, what we had? It was good. I’m not going to sit here and tell you it wasn’t good, or that I didn’t feel anything for you, because that would be a lie, and if there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you gots to keep it real. So yes, what we had was special. But I’m afraid it’s no more. It’s not that you’ve done anything, not really, it’s more that….god, this is hard. I’ll just come out and say it: I’m in love with another. Oh, you’d like him! He’s so much like you, but so much MORE you, you know? Just, I mean, here, you can read it for yourself.
    http://www.observer.com/2011/08/rich-hilfiger-tommy-hilfiger-ra/

  16. I like the fantasy part where paparazzi try and take pictures of Chet Haze, and also where a girl can be in the room with him singing like that and not vomit on herself.

  17. This girl went to my high school. HOW DARE SHE STEAL MY MAN! *claws*

  18. So is he not rapping anymore? What’s going on with the world?!

  19. Fact: I once saw Chet Haze driving a Ford Focus in Evanston. WHICH CHET HAZE IS THE REAL CHET HAZE?

  20. Well, this video is…long. That is really the biggest thing I take away from it. Long and lots of camera-spinning. I’m guessing the spinning is why I feel nauseated now, but I’m not sure.

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